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You Do Not Love/Hate Your Body, You Are Not Just Sure What You Want Yet

Updated on April 27, 2020
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Beauty and Fashion Enthusiast with more than 20 years of experience in studying fashion and trends.

The women folk are divided into many factions but amongst them, four stand out.

- Women Pro- Body Modification and Women Against Body Modification

- Women Pro- Patriarchy and Women Against Patriarchy

Today we would be conversing about the first pair. Don’t worry I do not require you to say anything, but open your mind because I intend to engage and caress every part of it.

Women Pro- Body Modification and Women Against Body Modification

“Self-love, Acceptance, Comfortable in your skin, Perfect Just the way you are, Naturally endowed” these words and many like them drown the internet, and are passionately peddled by women against body-modification. Body Modification in this context involves anything ranging from perming our natural Africa hair or skin bleaching to getting surgery done to get rid of a FUPA or saggy breasts.

These women passionately preach about women loving themselves whatever way they’re made or formed. They argue, that when one can completely embrace body types and appearances that do not conform to societal standards of beauty, only then can they truly come to understand self-love. So basically, if I try to perm my hair cos I find it difficult and time-consuming to run a comb through or get a tummy tuck after I’ve had kids or just because it means I do not love my self-enough and haven’t come to fully accept my body. Humph!

Women pro- body modification also flood the internet, it’s just that they are more visual than vocal. They makeup 90% of Ads and are mostly not too shy to show off their bodies. (I spent thousands of dollars on these boobs and ass, I am sure as hell not going to cover them up!)

All they want is everything the women against body modifications don’t want. Permed hair, bleached skin, cosmetic surgery, name it, they want it all. These set of women argue that the true meaning of self-love is when you’re able and willing to go the extra mile just to make sure your body looks good enough to turn (and perhaps break) necks when you walk past. To them, if your body doesn’t conform to societal standards (flat belly, round hips, perky boobs, flawless skin, shaved legs, zero facial hair except fleek eyebrows etc etc), you do not love yourself enough to take care of it.


People are literally living lives they are not comfortable with simply because they want to be seen as supporting one of these factions or the other.


You see, the problem isn’t these set of people and their beliefs. The problem is the pressure and confusion a whole lot of women (both young and old, mostly young) are thrown into. People are literally living lives they are not comfortable with simply because they want to be seen as supporting one of these factions or the other.

Do you really love yourself if you really want a different shade of skin just because, but you do not because you are scared of public reaction or being told that you do not love yourself enough? We buy material possessions because we can afford to, we travel to destinations we were not born in or aren’t Nationals of because we can afford to, why does no one guilt trip us for that. Why don’t people say “oh you do not love your country that is why you’re traveling out” or “oh you do not love your natural scent that’s why you use perfumes or mouth wash”.

I know my illustrations are absurd but as I said at the beginning I want to caress every part of your mind, so open up and try to analyze my point. Every day of our lives we make different modifications on stuff to feel better about who we are and more comfortable with ourselves, so why is body modification such a big deal?

I see the pro-modification team cheering, (laughing my non-existent butt off) this isn’t a conversation supporting you. Not everyone can afford a Hollywood surgeon or celebrity dermatologist and frankly speaking not everyone should even consider it, but why do y’all make it seem like I betrayed humanity simply because I’m super comfortable with how my body looks? I’m fat, so? My face is full of acne marks, yea that’s proof that I went through puberty. I’m not all flawless and sculpted up and that fine by me, you do not have to remind me by shoving it down my throat one Instagram post a time now, do you?

Ad agencies are not left out, you agencies need to understand that different people have different preferences on how they would want their bodies to look.

So you want to advertise something as universal as jewelry, why the flipping fuck does it always have to be on a slim faced, neck-boned-defined lady? Why? Is jewelry anti-fat? Or wait, car ads. Nice “sexy” ladies, flat belly et al, so are you trying to say because I’ve got a FUPA, I can’t drive your red sleek over-priced new model car?

...So you want to advertise something as universal as jewelry, why the flipping fuck does it always have to be on a slim faced, neck-boned-defined lady? Why? Is jewelry anti-fat?...

Comfortable, Content and Happy

In my opinion, so long as you are comfortable, content, and happy with how your body looks and feel, that self-love and that is all that should matter. And if you feel there are a tad bit of things that need change, so long as you do not hurt yourself, go for it darling!


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