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You Men And Your Panties

Updated on January 26, 2010

Interested in subtle make up nobody will know you're wearing? Read this article on subtle make up for men.

It may surprise you to learn that I've been studying you, dear readers, lurking in a lurky fashion and discovering what interests you and what leaves you cold based on how many of you come along to various articles and how many of you are so inspired by the articles that you take time to add your voices to the fray.

Based on these factors, I have determined what seems to interest your average man who wears women's clothing, and what does not.  Here's what I have come up with so far, you tell me if I'm right here.

Things Men Who Wear Lingerie Are Interested In:

  • Panties
  • Bras
  • Stockings
  • Miscellaneous Lingerie
  • Skirts
  • Dresses
  • Women's Shoes

Things Men Who Wear Lingerie Are Not Interested In:

  • Make Up
  • Hair

Interesting omission there guys. It seems that most men who wear women's clothing are only interested in the trappings of femininity, as in, things they can wear. If its something you can put on your body, and take off again and then wear it once more, men who wear women's clothing are interested it. If it is in the category of enhancing femininity, then it would seem that, by and large, you're not interested

Interestingly enough, of all the items on the list, the two things that really have the power to make men look feminine, rather than looking like men in women's clothing, are make up and hair. There's a reason why women spend billions of dollars on make up and hair products every year, but the male crowd lacks interest.

Is that because the clothing is something that can be more easily held and admired? Is it because it is an object you can adore? Or is it, perhaps, because you're really just seeking fashion equality, rather than a representation of femininity? That would explain a great deal.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you chaps should be interested in hair and make up, but as they are two subjects very dear to the heart of women, it boggles my mind somewhat that men who seem to aspire to femininity seem to ignore these interesting and diverse fields of appearance entirely. Is it because they are too challenging? Too foreign? Is it because putting on lipstick and eyeliner would be going too far? Or are they simply so run of the mill to you that they're barely worth mentioning in polite conversation?

This has been another article largely comprised of questions, but when one asks questions, one occasionally finds answers, and there's a chance that we all might learn something new about the quirky nature of the man who loves lingerie, (and all his likewise lingerie loving friends.)


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    • profile image

      Erica 7 years ago


      The results from your survey are very interesting. And it is something I have wondered about for as long as I have been going out dressed as a woman. I have seen men dressed as your survey suggests.

      For me it's not about the feel of what I am wearing, but the ack of transforming into and passing as a woman. Doing what a woman would do to prepare for where she is about to go or what she is about to do. Wearing an appropriate outfit with hair, makeup and accessories that fit the call. And I don't really care what's under my dress, blouse and skirt or pants, as long as it's comfortable and doesn't show through. Like most women do! Styling my hair and putting on makeup was a challenge in the beginning, but I just kept practicing and now it's easy and just takes a little time.

      As you pointed out, hair and makeup are what distinguish between the sexes. Look at how many women dress in men's clothes today, both casual and professional, and are never mistaken for a man because of their hair and makeup. And for all we know, some could be wearing mens boxers.

      So I think men have to decide as you pointed out if they are interested in only the trappings of femininity, or if they are going to truly enhance femininity. If their answer is the latter, then their priorities need to be changed and hair and makeup should be at the top of their list!

      I enjoy reading your articles and getting your perspective on these issues. Keep it up!

    • profile image

      GEE 7 years ago

      Thank you Hope you said it perfict. Just being wrapped up in PANT LINERS'SLIPS'LONG SHINY TRICOT GOWNS and any thing else I can find is the the utmost feeling in the. I wood be dressed in nylon 24/7 if was at all possible. Thank you so much for understanding our so called sickness. Your new friend GEE.

    • Pleasure Venues profile image

      Pleasure Venues 7 years ago from South West US

      It sounds like a lot of beginners endeavoring in this "art" of the feminine?

      I have a lot of friends who compete in drag shows, and it gets "expensive!" I have an older friend who lives in the greater Phoenix area, over 60 years old, and still wins major drag shows all over the US! This can be a serious endeavor, but costly.

    • profile image

      Dono07 7 years ago

      I have a wonderful wife who helps me with my hair and make up. It is a very big part for me even if I can never pass. But looking in a mirror and seeing a woman looking back is a great feeling. I have to say I am interested in every thing on your list.

    • profile image

      lslby 7 years ago


      Your hubs are great and you have terrific insight. Regarding why men like lingerie and not make-up and wigs, it is because many men don't wish to "pass for a woman" they know and identify themselves as men but enjoy being wrapped in feminine things and what could be more feminine than the lingerie you write about? Thanks for helping men understand the women's point of view, you are amazing!

    • profile image

      Jakkie 7 years ago

      I am going to be a little different here.

      I wear panties, cami’s and nightgowns on a daily basis. I own several dresses,tops,heels and don all kinds of lingerie. However, if I'm going to feel feminine, I take the good with the bad.

      I spend a lot of time in the shower each morning shaving. I know this is time consuming and I have heard women complaining about this for years. However, I can now feel their pain and I can relate to what they go through just to be womanly.

      Along with other time consuming factors, applying makeup also falls into this category.

      After shaving each morning, I also spend a good deal of time in front of the mirror moisturizing and applying makeup.

      Even though I have foundation, I do not use it on a daily basis because it is a dead give away to others that I wear makeup.

      I begin my by applying moisturizer, followed by a light coat of eye shadow which matches my skin tone. Afterward, I apply a minimal amount of mascara to my upper lashes and follow by applying a concealer under my eyes to hide dark circles. I top off by applying a clear layer of lipstick.

      This every morning regiment has added about twenty minutes to my morning routine and it is sometimes very inconvenient. However, I feel that if I am going to try to be feminine, I am going to take the good with the bad.

    • profile image

      Mike 7 years ago

      Well... as your resident Both Types of Men Who Wear Women's Clothing (as in, sometimes full drag, other times clearly a man in some women's clothes) I find myself surprised by your findings considering both camps read and comment on your blog.

      As I do not live in a mental prison requiring me to hide my proclivities, quite frequently going about town in passable imitation of a very tall transvestite, makeup is essential. It's a big part of the fun of the whole process, too. I love makeup, and probably spend way too much money on it. Subtle? Tasteful? Daytime look? I think not. It's glam, all the way, but stopping short of drag queen.

      I own wigs for this purpose as well. I once had long hair of my own, but since my hairline decided on a tactical retreat, this is no longer a viable option. Plus side, I can change my hairstyle at the drop of a... wig. Given as well that the "girl" only comes out to play every other weekend or so, it's one less maintenance issue to deal with.

      And for the other "camp" -- I have been known to wear some makeup in drab mode too. Usually just eyeliner & mascara, sometimes eyeshadow. There's a line that can be crossed in my mind... how much is too much? Ah, but that's all part of the fun.

      Somewhere in the back of my mind, though, is the urge to try the Eddie Izzard look -- everything but the hair -- simply because it's fun to confuse people. :-)

    • profile image

      James 7 years ago

      I wear foundation most days as it helps even out the looks of my face. Absolutely love what it does for me. Just wish I had a sister to help me figure all the other stuff out.

    • profile image

      Melanie 7 years ago

      Hope, this is a great post.

      I for one, however, do not think that hair and make up are the last thing a man wants to address when he crosses the line in presenting himself as a male to that as a female. It's not because they are too time consuming and conspicuous. Rather it's more complicated than that.

      Most women have had a lifetime of "trial and error" as they learned to apply makeup and experiment with different hair styles. They have also had the help of their mothers, peers and other women as they have "fine tuned" their "look".

      Men who want to present themselves as women, on the other hand, are in the position to trying to unravel the finer points of makeup application / selection on their own. Likewise, just as feminine clothing offers a myriad of different choices in color, texture and style--the same goes for variety of female hair styles. Add to all this the fact that hair style and makeup tend to be more "permanent" than merely putting on a skirt or dress and you have an additional reason these items are preceived as being less important to the man that likes to present himself as a woman. In other words it's more the complexity of mastering these two areas and doing them "right", rather than the time and effort it takes.

      I would love to add makeup and a feminine hair style to my everyday "look" when I go out. But the simple fact is, I don't have the experience nor the background to purchase and apply makeup in a way that looks natural as opposed to making me look like a clown or a "drag queen". Then, there is the matter of hair style. Again, I would like nothing more than to go into a salon and have the stylist give me "the works" (i.e. cut, color, highlights, perm, wave, etc.) However, the fact that this style would be with me more or less permanently [until it grew out over time] presents a very real problem problem. The solution--wear an age approriate wig or choose a feminine hair style that is more androgynous.

      My wife knows of my special interest in dressing like a woman and is far from accepting. [I would guess there are more men that find this negative reaction to cross dressing to be the case, rather than fewer]. So how do I handle it? Well, I find myself hiding my stash of clothes, dressing / undressing in my car in some lonely spot in a parking lot and lying to her about where I am and what I am doing. Even though she probably knows deep down I'm more than likely out dressed, the ability to not be open and honest about the times I dress, helps keep things calm on the home front. [Kind of a sad commentary, when at 60 years old I find myself sneaking around like this!]

      So, you see it's not as simple as saying these items are not important nor the fact that I don't want to take the time. Rather it's the place these two elements take in the whole scheme of things relating to adopting and perfecting the feminine image. Speaking for myself, I want to dress well, behave and interact as a genetic female and be accepted as that-- probably unrealistic, but that's my goal. To that end, both makeup and hair style are important to complete the "other person" I strive to embrace.

    • Hope Alexander profile image

      Hope Alexander 7 years ago

      Great feedback guys, thanks for taking the time to leave a comment! I'm going to write a hub on subtle make up men can wear, and go from there. I hope it helps!

    • profile image

      Cyndie_D 7 years ago

      Well Hope, you know how I feel about most items on your list because I have replied to several of your past articles. I also have my 2 cents about hair and make up.

      1 - I tried growing a more fem hair style, but with the male pattern, nothing on top, it looked just too strange.

      2 - Make up is a different story. I wear foundation and a little blush most everyday. I regularly add mascara and sometimes a touch of lip stick.

      So I almost make the complete list.

      Thanks for continuing the articles.

      Cyndie D

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      jamieacd 7 years ago

      I wear panties 24/7 and dress up completly about once a week....I do make up when time allows for it which isn't that often

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      terri smith 7 years ago from NC

      Hope my dear, you are pretty much on target as usual. I love wearing everything you mentioned. I do wear lipstick and a wig though. The make-up is more difficult to apply properly. It takes time to put it on and to remove it leaving no trace.

    • profile image

      Hopefan 7 years ago

      I'll go with "too challenging and too foreign". But let me add something else to the mix, just a faint notion:

      Maybe the reason make-up is last on my list is because in order to appreciate it I'd have to look in the mirror - literally. And in looking that closely I'm afraid I would appear to myself as cartoonish, as a man in women's make-up and not as the beautiful woman I've created in my imagination. When I'm wearing panties and look in the mirror I can make myself believe I see a woman. And when I stuff a bra and look in the mirror, it's the same.

      But maybe I've been missing something. I started to write that a big turn on for me is the "feel" of tight silk panties and the corresponding feel of femininity. And make-up and wigs don't provide that sensation. Or do they? Maybe I would like the feel of gloss lipstick rolling onto my pouting lips and the stroke of an eyeliner pencil. --- you've inspired me Hope! I think I'll give it a try!

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      Zeta 7 years ago

      I used to wear a little lipstick, eye-shadow and mascara. My wife wasn't comfortable with it and it was difficult to wash off.

      Now I'm simply too old for make-up.

      I love both the feeling and look of lingerie, and the naughty aspect of wearing women's pants and shoes when we're out and about. I also find I like the cut and fit of women's pants better than mens and like ballet flats for indoor comfort.

      My joy in wearing lingerie turns to disgust when I'm feeling depressed, and that's when the purge is likely to occur.

      Your insights continue to surprise and delight me, Hope.

    • profile image

      Dani 7 years ago

      Hope, where can I find the outfit pictured here? I love the frilly panties, corset and garter straps!!!!

    • profile image

      Dani 7 years ago

      I have been in full make up and wig about 5 times, I had a woman who helped me, and have been told that I make a very lovely woman, problem is, I can't do the make up myself. Girls are taught this from an early age. I have purchased books and DVD's on how to do this but my dexterity in this endeavor is quite simply pathetic. I would do it way more often if I could apply make up in a manner that didn't make me look like a clown:) LOL

    • lainie_xo profile image

      lainie_xo 7 years ago

      Dear Hope,

      I couldn't agree more with you that hair and make-up "close the deal" in making the transition from a man wearing women's clothing to almost to passable as a woman.

      Speaking for myself, i find the art of make-up intimidating, but have made the effort to educate myself through books like Bobbi Brown's and websites to learn what the products are, how to use what and when, what colors wok best, etc, etc. It does boggle the mind and when I first started to apply my own make-up I was thinking that for the woman that really knows make-up that it is the equivalent of a PHD!

      Now hair for me was a little easier because a wig was the only option, but then again picking the right color and style, and a really good wig that looks natural isn't that cheap, although there are some good wig sources through Ebay. I have found a lace front wig that looks great.

      Thank you for all of your wonderful blogs. You offer a lot of ideas and help to those in need.

    • profile image

      patient0 7 years ago

      I'm balding, have a beard and heavy facial hair. I will never look like a woman, no matter how much hair and makeup. And I don't care to. I like wearing panties because they feel good and make me feel different and feminine; I still am not sure why I wear bras. I wear dresses and skirts to festivals because the women seem to think they're hot. Having a crush look up your skirt and compliment you on your lacy black underwear - yeah, awesome.

      BTW, I don't do shoes either. They're just not comfortable. Boots go well under a skirt or flowery dress.

    • profile image

      steve 7 years ago

      i know you list miscellaneous lingerie,in there, but a do think nightwear should have its own listing,should imagine there are many like me that wears panties all the time and some of the others occasionally,but the strong feeling you get falling asleep in nightwear and waking up in it makes you run for your panties in the morning

    • profile image

      Nanciboy 7 years ago

      I wear makeup to the extent of lipstick and mascara every day. A not too dark pink lipstick and black/brown mascara (as I think you recommended). My hands are not quite steady enough to successfully apply eye liner. I've had my eyebrows waxed and shaped so I finally have enough area the think about shadow.

      The real challenge is hair - more accurately, the lack of hair. More information on finding a good source of wigs would be greatly appreciated.

    • profile image

      allen danninger 7 years ago

      i loved your article about men just loving lingerie not makeup an hair to me it seems most men dont know how to put on make up or do there hair if they wear wigs u can usually tell an if there like me older im 53 no matter how much make up i use u can tell im a guy so i will wear my lingerie at home or under my male cloths an just injoy the thought of me wearing it thanks

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      reg 7 years ago

      All aspects of femininity intrigue me, however I agree with most of the other comments regarding hair and makeup. I suggest that the relatively low interest may be required of those who live in an environment requiring discretion.

      It is difficult to style hair and to apply makeup without sometimes raising unwanted flags of interest. Hair and makeup (along with plucked eyebrows) actually require more freedom of expression than enjoying pierced ears. In many cases, it is just not possible to use makeup.

      The use of mascara, lash curlers, eyebrow pencils, tastefully applied eye shadow, and lip gloss are possible in some professions, but certainly not all of them.

      Perhaps some day they will be more acceptable.

    • profile image

      Melanie 7 years ago

      I wear women's clothing as much as possible. I love to dress and interact with others as a woman. As far as makeup and hair go, I would love to get a more feminine hairstyle and use makeup, but it's more an issue of "learning how to do it right" than being too lazy.

      Girls and women have lots of opportunities to "experiment" [as they grow up] with makeup and learn over time what works best for them. A guy learning about makeup, proper colors, how to apply, etc. is at a disadvantage--unless he lives alone (or has a VERY understanding S.O.)

      I find it easy to "hide" my stash of clothing and change clothes from male mode to female mode. But, when applying makeup or changing to a totally feminine hairstyle, it's a lot harder to hide the results because they tend to be more permanent.

      In short, I for one would welcome your thoughts on finding the "right look" in makeup and how a man can find the best look in feminine hair styles to compliment his facial features. I shy away from makeup because, quite frankly, I don't want to look like a clown [or a "painted lady"] when I opt for some eye color and lipstick to go with my feminine dress. Please, any help in these areas would be appreciated.

    • profile image

      Bobbie95126 7 years ago

      I love everything you said except for me a wig and makeup are the finishing touches that make me feel more completely a woman. This way I am not afraid to go out in public shopping etc. I don't think I would feel comfortable going out without my wig or makeup. I also usually ware a pearl necklace and earrings (clip on type).



    • Hope Alexander profile image

      Hope Alexander 7 years ago

      So, from the current comments, hair and make up tend to be last on the list because they are time consuming and conspicuous, fair enough! Thanks for the feedback guys!

    • Chris_S profile image

      Chris_S 7 years ago from Texas

      This article has made me ask myself some questions and do a little soul searching. I am interested in hair and makeup but to be perfectly honest, I'm too lazy to learn how to do it right and follow through with it as a daily routine. I know I could greatly benefit from some makeup but have been hesitant to really dive into it. Wearing women's clothing is easy for me and I don't seem to have any trouble putting outfits together. I do wear one kind of makeup if you can call it that... acrylic nails. I've been wearing them for a year now non-stop and love them. I wouldn't be without them. Aside from the nails, I wear no other beauty enhancements although false eyelashes intrigue me. Apart from that, I wear women's clothing as a man but I do keep my face cleanly shaved and keep the hair removed from my arms and hands at all times. Strangely, I'm not at all interested in frilly lingerie but I do wear nylons sometimes. I don't wear skirts but I do wear womens pants and tops and carry a purse and always wear heels. I'm now starting to get interested in jewelry and my sister wants me to get my ears pierced.

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      ILoveLingerie 7 years ago

      Hi Hope,

      I'd like to try out make-up in the future. I haven't tried using it yet because I don't want my mother or father to get the wrong idea of me (I still live at home, cheaper for me while studying). It's easy for them to misinterpret.

      It's also a bit difficult for me to use because my skin is kind of problematic at the moment. It seems to suffer from what I'm eating. I need to get that back to good shape (eating better).

      I've also been on war with my hair, because I don't like how it grows. I got hair twirles on the sides of my head and it makes my hair stand out sideways when it's medium long.

      I'd like to grow longer hair but the between stages just look terrible, therefore in the end I've always decided to cut it.

      I guess more lingerie wearing men would like to try out make-up but it's not as easy to hide using it as wearing lingerie is. For those that hide it I mean.

      Another thing concerning me is that I don't always have the time to comment on everything, therefore I just read your articles and vote them up. Often times I only comment on things that I know something about and make-up and hair is not a part of that yet.

      That's all I have to say for now.

      Greetings from germany,


    • profile image

      joanjo 7 years ago from Herts. U.K.

      Hello Hope,

      Hair and make-up take up an awful amount of time, my wife takes ages! If there is only a limited time to be "dressed" then make-up is out the window and also you would have to be carefull with make-up,not too much as it will still show after a hurried removal before the children or someone else gets home.

      It would be wonderful to experiment with both hair and make-up, can you give any tips etc. bye