5 Easy Steps to Discrediting Bubblews
A lot of people have flocked to a relatively new site known as Bubblews because they are promised the big bucks. Though some people can barely write their own names, this hasn't stopped them from writing very detailed articles claiming that Bubblews is a scam.
But I am here to make it even easier. And I've learned from the pros. There is a simple formula to show your anger at Bubblews in a veiled and incomprehensible way.
First Step: Get Angry
They've cheated you. You worked hard. They're liars.
Whatever it takes, work yourself into a lather. But don't show it. Hide it with clever theory and a lot of numbers. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
Step Two: Find Out Who Their Advertisers Are
Well, you know, you're going to have to sound credible, so find out a little bit of factual info that you can use. It helps if you know the name of their advertisers and then use information, misconstrued intentionally, about their advertisers to make it look like something nefarious is going on. You know, like how advertisers are using cookies to steal your information and Bubblews is getting paid for it; even though all advertisers use tracking cookies so that they can serve ads that attract readers. Like I said, misconstrue the info.
Step Three: Find Out About a Mishap on the Site, Blow it Out of Proportion
Again, it helps here to intentionally misinterpret something, blow it out of proportion and tell everybody it's nefarious. All good propaganda and gossip works this way.
For instance, the site got hacked by malicious malware from an actually nefarious advertiser. This kind of thing happens to a lot of sites and they have to deal with it. However, you can turn that one unfortunate incident into something along the lines, again, about Bubblews trying to steal your information to sell it to their advertisers. Doesn't matter if that theory doesn't make sense. You've sown the seeds of discord already.
Do you think people should write about Bubblews being a scam?
Step Four: Construct a Convoluted Theory that People Have to Accept
Create a conspiracy theory with misinformation and distorted facts that is so complicated and convoluted that people will have to believe it so that they look smart. They will believe it just so they don't have to say they don't understand it.
Fill it full of statistics that have no source and make sure to include that misconstrued information about advertisers. Take one fact and another fact and incorrectly connect both of them.
Now you have three things to misconstrue and string along together in a bizarre theory that people will actually believe because it is so way out there. Here's how it goes:
- People aren't getting paid.
- Bubblews is just using you to get information to sell to advertisers.
- Getting attacked by malware was a tactic for getting more information from users.
I know, it seems all disconnected and weird. Doesn't matter. People will believe it and you get traffic to your article about it. You win!
You never know, you might even build your rep!
Step Five: Use Polls and Stats
Create a poll on your article. When most people vote that they think Bubblews is legit, and you can't do anything about it because the results show up right on the page automatically, make up some of your own figures to compensate. Say that another poll shows people changed their mind. Then make it look like they changed their mind after reading your brilliant bit of prose.
Works like a charm!
Do you still think people should write about Bubblews being a scam?
Add a few other articles to your portfolio to add credibility to your position as a conspiratologist. Like, The Dalai Lama is the Devil. Something along those lines.
Also, make sure you openly name other writers that like Bubblews and discredit them too. Doesn't matter if this is dirty, just do it.
Thank you for reading and may your efforts to waste everyone's time be rewarded!
Pretend nice, don't be nice.
This article is intended as a satire of an article written by a disenchanted former Bubbler. What has been noticed is that he has recently changed some information in his article to vaguely refer to TribalFusion and their cookies rather than his former claim that TribalFusion was some kind of sinister company after your personal information. However, looking through comments on the article (he's written 3 on the subject), you can find his response to someone calling him on the carpet for his half-baked information, as he defends his position on TribalFusion cookies.
It should be noted too that he's switched his focus from TribalFusion to Quantcast; and Quantcast is just a company that sites use to collect stats on traffic and they also offer a service for serving ads.
In addition, he's seemed to have eliminated his specific calling out of writers who support Bubblews. He had named them by name prior.