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Diary of a Contented Cell Phone

Updated on March 24, 2011

Popularity Pesonified

I can  not believe how popular I am. No matter where I am or what time of day it is, I am always the center of attention.  The down side to that, of course, is that I don't get much sleep. You would think that people would be more interested in books, athletic ability, academic achievement, etc., but none of that matters anymore.

Hold on a minute.... incoming text.

"hey! sup?  Eng class is sooooooooo boring.  meet u 12:30 lunch.  c u soon."

"math sucks 2.  time for a nap.  c u."

Sorry about that.  As I was saying, it's amazing how....

"Hello?  Yeah, I can talk.  I'm in the lav. Where are you?"

"Walkin' down the hall.  Teacher probably doesn't even miss me."

"Which teacher?"

"Martin.  He's pretty cool.  Cute, too.  At least a few of them understand why we need to use our phones."

"Yeah, really.  Gotta go.  Old Mrs. Benson is not so cool."

"Oh, God, is she a witch.  She actually tried to take my phone last semester just because I was texting during one of her stupid tests."

"Yeah, she's really lame."

OK, so I guess you can see how busy I am.  It's exhausting. I wish these people would leave me alone for a minute.  I'd better hide, or the teacher will have a fit.

Incoming text:  "yo, u talk 2 Joey today?"

"don remember."

"omg.  u won't believe what happened."

PUT THAT PHONE AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!

Like that's gonna happen.  I almost wish it would.

Big smile at teacher.  Move to lap, behind purse.

I SAID PUT THE PHONE AWAY!  YOU KNOW IT IS AGAINST SCHOOL RULES.

What a joke.  Every morning they announce, "No phones or other technological devices."  And here I am.  Guess they're afraid of "legal ramifications", not to mention freedom of speech.  As I said before, I am so popular.  So are my friends.  People can't survive without us.   I mean, they need us for everything: to tell time, to exercise their fingers, to make important plans like who's driving to Friday's dance and where the party is afterwards, and, most important,  to know where their buddies are and what they're doing 24/7.  Some of them even need us to help them take tests.  Pretty soon, they'll need us to think for them.  I take that back.  They already do.  Isn't technology grand?






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