ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

From install to insane: The five stages of installation without an uninstaller

Updated on December 12, 2010

Software install with no uninstaller: The crazed raccoon of software

Have you found a great looking piece of software, installed it and regretted it every day since? Badly made software without an effective uninstaller is liked inviting a crazed raccoon in to your home. It hangs around causing havoc when you least expect it, pops up when you wish it wouldn't and you when it's not around you can't shake the feeling that it's hiding someplace chewing on the wiring.

Without further stretching the metaphor, I present to you:


Hope springs eternal, even though it shouldn't. Nor should you click on 'install'.
Hope springs eternal, even though it shouldn't. Nor should you click on 'install'.

The five stages of installation

Hope.

It springs eternal. There's no supressing hope, even though it is so incredibly unlikely that the software you just bought called EasyFormat 5000 is actually going to format or be easy or even bare any connection to the number 5000.

But hope won't let that stop you!

Disappointment is what hope plus reality equals. An uninstaller for this emotion would be excellent right about now.
Disappointment is what hope plus reality equals. An uninstaller for this emotion would be excellent right about now.

Disappointment.

This is in direct proportion to the level of Hope you were feeling 10 minutes ago. Here's where reality comes crashing through your mental lounge room like that crazy raccoon we discussed earlier. Not only is the software bad, it's offensively bad and makes you feel like you just bought a used truck tire from a Ukrainian car salesman because he told you it would fit on your scooter.

Frustration. It's what teeth grinding was invented for. Dentists love frustration.
Frustration. It's what teeth grinding was invented for. Dentists love frustration.

Frustration.

It was bad enough to realize the software was coded by teenagers studying woodwork but now there's no uninstaller to remove it and all its 14,239 DLL files and nifty PRGn_$@8 Reg fix alterations to your RAM bus autostart flux-boing zap zap dongles. That's right, you have no idea what this software has left scattered through your hard drive. Like that crazy raccoon, leaving little raccoon droppings inside all your draws.

Aggravation. An uninstaller might have saved you this but my telling you is only going to aggravate you more, so forget I said anything.
Aggravation. An uninstaller might have saved you this but my telling you is only going to aggravate you more, so forget I said anything.

Aggravation.

Ok, so now you are the crazed one. This software just keeps on keeping on. It's there when you power up, it wants you to register, or to tell you it's missing something, like a .DLL file to do something you didn't ask it to do. You keep finding shortcuts to it on your desktop, like the calling card of some kind of invisible idiot. Here's where steam would come from your ears, if your head was an actual steam boiler and didn't just feel like it.

Desperation. You'll try ANYTHING to get rid of this $*#$(@ software. Uninstalling your entire operating system seems reasonable.
Desperation. You'll try ANYTHING to get rid of this $*#$(@ software. Uninstalling your entire operating system seems reasonable.

Desperation.

Last and final phase. If we're talking metaphorical raccoons you'd be seriously considering having your house condemned and rebuilt just to get rid of the furry terrorist. Giving thought to reinstalling Windows or just dragging your whole Programs folder to the recycle bin is the first sign of stage 5 installation with no uninstaller insanity.

Now that you've passed through the five stages of installation, and in all seriousness, you need a third party uninstaller like Revo. I can only look back and laugh because I now have a heat-seeking missile to eradicate runaway software infestations.

Time to clean house, crazy raccoon!

If you have comments, I'd love to hear from you.

Essential items for the home raccoonist and tire buyer

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Deborah Demander profile image

      Deborah Demander 

      7 years ago from First Wyoming, then THE WORLD

      Congratulations on your hubnuggets nomination. This hub is funny, but painfully so. I have a family of unwanted raccoons living in my computer, and something must be done. Great job.

      Namaste.

    • elayne001 profile image

      Elayne 

      7 years ago from Rocky Mountains

      I have totally had that happen to me - except for the gun. Anyways - great hub. Congrats on your nomination.

    • Fertile Forest profile imageAUTHOR

      Fertile Forest 

      7 years ago from Sydney, Australia

      Thank you both.

    • profile image

      Butch News 

      7 years ago

      True life stories. Been there.

    • ripplemaker profile image

      Michelle Simtoco 

      7 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

      Fertile Forest, what a wonderful way of writing this concept! I absolutely loved it!

      I also have some great news for you. Your hub is a Hubnuggets nominee! Yes, please, follow this link and see for yourself! http://bit.ly/hv3VHi

    • Fertile Forest profile imageAUTHOR

      Fertile Forest 

      7 years ago from Sydney, Australia

      RTalloni, you've made my day. Thank you.

    • RTalloni profile image

      RTalloni 

      7 years ago from the short journey

      Good stuff, very good stuff. :)

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)