Fudgie, the Barcode Convict

Fudgie may not look like much of a pioneer, but he is, for he’s the Barcode Convict, the first inmate remanded to the Federal prison system to wear the revolutionary (and fashionably hip) barcode-striped uniform, which, of course, carries — encoded — his particular identifying convict number (0000013).

As you might guess, Fudgie fell fast for the Feds; his generously jug-handle ears, electro-shock hairdo, disturbingly vacant stare, and perennially protruberant tongue made for an instantaneous line-up ID. And you might say ol’ Fudgie ain’t the sharpest sheep in the pen. His attempt at forging new $20 US bills involved crayolas, President Andrew Jaxon, and a backwards ‘2’.

Ah, but at last! Fudgie gets to be first at something — the first ever escape-proof prisoner! In his stylin’ vari-striped jumper, he will now simply pass by a scanner on his way to the yard, the head, the mess or the metalwork shop, and the Department of Corrections need never fear losing Fudgie!