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Is a Revolution Brewing in Lulawissie?

Updated on April 24, 2019
Will our cell towers become useless?
Will our cell towers become useless?

Waiting For The Fallout

The Lulawissie town council has a motion on the table that has garnered quite a bit of debate. It seems that one of the local business owners, William Eaton, III, owner of the Gas and Grocery and the president of the Lulawissie Historical Society has suggested that the town council and the county commission do away with any form of Wi-Fi and cellular technology, and return to the old fashioned land line style of communication.

In his presentation to the town folk, Mr. Eaton explained that “the kids nowadays are too preoccupied with their phones and this ‘Facebook’ thing. They are getting fat and lazy.” Vernie Bacon, the town’s gossiping know-it-all reinforced his argument with a “quote” straight from her Google research about Digital Dementia saying “using any electronic device has been proven to shrink your brain.” Many of the town people in attendance snickered at her comment because Vernie had often been referred to as a “pea brain” herself because of her nosey and annoying nature.

Also in attendance at the meeting were the Superintendent of the Lulawissie School District, Tyler O’Reilly and the Chief of Pediatrics at the Lulawissie General Hospital, Dr. Patrick Herlihy. Both of these gentlemen were in agreement with Mr. Eaton.

“The kids just aren’t getting enough exercise.” The doctor pointed out. “In the future, the Town of Lulawissie is going to be run by obese and brainless adults. We need to do something.”

Mr. O’Reilly added that his proposal was to ban cellular and Wi-Fi technology throughout the county except in the schools. “The schools need to be kept up to date on this technology and the kids need to be taught how to use it responsibly. Of course, there will be no social media involved in any way. We will urge the parents to cooperate by reinforcing our decision to carry this plan out.”

A vote was taken and it was nearly unanimous that the motion be carried. The meeting was recessed until next week when they will discuss the implementation of the plan. As a side note, our town meetings haven’t been this noteworthy since they tried to build the new nuclear power plant across from the elementary school a few years ago.

Check back here next week, my friends. I’m sure there will be plenty of fallout from this decision. As always, thanks for stopping by. I appreciate the time you take to read the latest from our humble little town.

I bid you Peace.

©2019 by Del Banks


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