Life Before Social Media

I just need to preface that I am from Europe – a small, beautiful Republic of Croatia right beside Italy. I can generalize and say that we were all late bloomers when it came to smartphones and social media.

But first thing’s first – let’s start with mobile phones.

I can vividly remember my dad’s first phone. It was a SIEMENS A55 from 2003. But It sure looked like the 1990s to me

I was blessed that I had lived in a neighborhood that had a lot of children. We were in a pretty closed community with surely 10 of us at the least and we practically grew up together. It was a great childhood. I wouldn’t have it any other way if you ask me. We were constantly outside. I remember crying to my mom to let me go out and play. We were definitely brothers and sisters. Given that I am an only child, some of the older kids made sure I was on the right track. They thought me how to ride a bike, roller skate, play cards and all sorts of different outside activities.

Now.. It’s a little bit different.

Sometimes it gets nostalgic. It took me a long time to adjust to change. I live in the same neighborhood, just a few houses down and I have major flashbacks sometimes. I can walk past my old house and I can just see us playing Mario & Luigi (don’t ask

That was the first time I needed to learn to let go of things, people and memories.

We also had some tragic occurs in that neighborhood as well that I’ll maybe talk about one day, but that was it. I remember everything went spiraling down from that moment forward.

Six of my friends moved out. PUF! just like that. Gone!

Everyone told me: “It’s okay, they are not moving to the end of the Earth, you’re still going to see eachother, don’t worry.”

Umm, that was definitely a big fat lie. Sorry mom, sorry dad, sorry next-door neighbor.

In all actuality, they really weren’t moving far, but it looked like everyone started a new life by moving away and few of us were stuck here without entertainment, without resources and knowledge to move on with our own lives. It’s like we’ve been paralyzed and not capable of having fun without them.

Even though I was an only child – at that moment, I’ve experienced the loss of my brothers and sisters. This was my first heartbreak.

Fast forward, eventually we all got over it because time and apparently – mobile phones healed all the wounds back then.

Now I know what tragic it was, but having my first phone NOKIA 3310 was the best day of my life. I was so stoked.

Back then, parents allowed us to carry our phones everywhere. They weren’t aware of the severity of a child having their phone 24/7. And I don’t blame them. It’s okay. We haven’t had internet or access to social media back then. What could possibly go wrong? They were more concerned about us losing the phone or someone stealing it, then for us to find something we weren’t supposed to on that damn thing.

It was an innocent time. Without limits. Our garden play, making mud cakes and climbing trees were replaced with us gathering on the stairs playing Snake on our Nokia for six hours at a time.

Some parents were concerned because we were too quiet and they couldn’t hear any commotion or laugher or even fighting. And some parents were honestly relieved. They needed this mid-afternoon calmness in the neighborhood.

And that was the start of what I like to call:

“The awakening of the necessary evil.”

Eventually, everyone went off to high school, I’d also moved and all of our lives seemed to be fulfilled honestly. With this small piece of equipment, everyone went completely silent.

We were on our phones all the time, calling each other, talking for 3 hours straight and thinking we were the hot shit of the Universe. Wow, the Millenials, am I right?

It came to the point of zero need for human interaction. I no longer needed a friend. My friend was my new Sony Ericsson flip phone at the time.

Of course, as all elders do, my parents were starting to realize something is happening and it ain’t normal.

I was a hyperactive, all-over-the-place child who was spending a total of 12 hours a day outside. And now, I’ve become one of those homebodies with no intention of going out.

And, finally, it hit me. The reality called my mother.
She hit me with the cruelest sentence I could’ve imagined back then:
“Give me your phone”.

• What do you mean, give you MY phone? Why?

My mom continued: “You can have it tomorrow for school so you can call me if something’s wrong. And that’s it.”

Pardon me? My only source of entertainment was GONE. Man, it got real’ ugly, real’ quick. I was so aggressive, so rebellious, so outraged. So what do I do without my phone? I couldn’t believe that my own mother betrayed me like that.

So I gave her the typical teenager spiel: “Would you rather for me to stay at home and play games, than go out and do drugs?”

Man, it worked every time! I was so bratty and ignorant and had no respect for anyone and anything around me.

And to this day, I cannot believe that this piece of shit called a mobile phone, occupied me so much, that it escalated into me disrespecting my parents. I’m telling you again, man – nothing but a piece of a necessary evil.

Until one day, parents decided that we need a computer. Dad’s work started to blossom, so we needed quick access to one of those. Mom was happy but at the same time, she thought this is going to be even worse for my development. She already knew I had a tech class in my school and they needed me as their teacher because they knew nothing about the technology.

So I did, I thought them everything I knew at the time, and they felt guilty for not letting me explore the internet because they felt I deserve it for teaching them.

Okay, at least an hour on the computer and then a break..

The MSN was big back then. I had all my classmates on that thing. We were constantly talking and gossiping. Regular teenage stuff. If you ask me. No harsh – no foul.

Until, 2008./2009. Facebook was just starting for us – 90’s babies. It was a new era for me. I could share pictures, talk to my friends non-stop, post everything and add everyone.

Isn’t that dangerous? – God, when I remember that I had over 1000’s of “friends” on Facebook, I am truly sick to my stomach. I was a child. Not even in high school and random people from across the world would send me friend requests and I would accept it. I was also seeking people myself. Wow, it was so cool for me to befriend a girl or a boy from the States! I’m telling you, euphoria to the maximum.

And parents had no idea I even had an account. They had no idea who I was engaging with and the level of the danger and incrimination that could potentially escalate.

I wish I could’ve just gone back in time and slap myself as hard as I can.

And still, what can a middle-aged parent do? I am so sad and disappointed in myself because I was manipulating people who had no clue about on-line life and I was putting myself in danger and they had no idea.

This is equal to hitting someone who’s lying on the ground helpless.

I told my mom recently I could’ve never had a baby when she had me. Nowadays we have resources and we’ve been through it ourselves enough to recognize the danger of social media.

At the time, I wasn’t aware of the consequences either. I wasn’t purposefully or sadistically making my account public, adding random strangers and engaging in conversations with them. I was just stoked and thrilled about the technology. It was new for me too. How can a young girl from Croatia, talk to a woman from Minnesota? It was miraculous to me.

From a few years ago when we had interacted through our bedroom windows yelling at each other, to nowadays where I can connect with a person thousands and thousands of kilometers away.

It was truly the revolution.

I had my fair share of stranger danger on Facebook, not gonna lie. I cringe just thinking about it.

But, highschool pretty much changed everything. I started to mature a little bit more and decided that I am going to start afresh chapter in my life. I had a lot of new friends, so why do I need to engage with a random dude from Australia when I had my own close friends to build my community. So I did. I deleted the old account and made myself a new one that I still have to this day.

I use Facebook as my personal gallery which, conveniently I can also share with my friends. Given that I travel a lot, I am making a lot of albums and sharing them on social media. Instagram as well.

I also made sure my accounts are private and I don’t add or accept people that I don’t know in real life.

Also, I went through the phase in my highschool years where I had deactivated my accounts multiple times and basically lived under the rock for a couple of months.

I was overwhelmed with ignorance on social media, before the modern day’s body positivity, before the race, sexual orientation, nationality and religion acceptance. I really went through it.

I am sure you all remember those days.

Where you’d have to post a selfie because if you show your figure, haters would openly body shame you.

I also remember one time I shared a video of violence in America towards one African-American family, and one person commented: “Well, they better run to Africa then.”

I couldn’t believe how Europe, in general, was so closeminded back then. I considered myself a pretty open person from the get-go.

From a young age, I was introduced to disabilities such as muscular dystrophy and cerebral paralyzes of one of my best friends in pre-school. From a young age, I was introduced to a religion different from mine in my close friends’ group. From a young age, I was introduced to a different skin color of the beautiful little girl that my neighbor’s sister had adopted. Heck, I was friends in high school with a mixed-race kid. I was really open to anything and anyone.

I had never had a situation where I looked at Muslims and associated them with terrorism, for example.

Recently, I was engaging in a random conversation with a person very close to me in a formal setting, and I couldn’t believe the level of judgemental crap that came out of her mouth regarding Muslim women wearing hijab.

And, being the person that I am, I would never disregard someone's opinion, but this was not the opinion. This was a pure attack on someone’s tradition. So, my goal in life is to educate people if I am 100% sure in my resources, not to bash them. Therefore I tried to explain to her that this is a part of Islamic culture, as I had foreseen that she is not the brightest chicken in the coop. Her parents obviously didn’t properly educate her, so I might as well.

When I receive the feedback that someone heard me and accepted the fact that I am more knowledgeable in the discussion, and they saw the facts I had laid out for them, that for me is an accomplishment and success. And if that person can research further and share their knowledge with me as I shared with them – Is there really a bigger gift than that?

In this particular case of cultural and religious discrimination, she didn’t receive the common sense and none of my general pieces of information entered her brain, and she insisted that women should not wear hijabs in the country in which they are categorized as a minority and they should just dismiss their culture and live by our standards.

I was and I am utterly disgusted and baffled by the lack of knowledge and general education of this person.

And you know what’s even sadder? She doesn’t even use the technology that much. Well, now that you think about it, maybe that’s the problem! I don’t think that she is a research type of gal, and there is endless information on Google that can help us open our minds to different stuff and experience cultures without seeing them in person. Why am I saying this? Because not everyone is open-minded, but you can try to be if you don’t rank people based on your opinion, but rather off of the resources.

I am also just a human. I also speak my mind even though a lot of people wouldn’t agree with me. And a lot of the times I am not in the right. A lot of the times I don’t have my facts straight. And I actually appreciate it when someone corrects me and points to the mistake I’ve made so I can try to fix it. And so should you..

If you just try to accept, the Universe will pay you back.

So, can you blame me for deactivating my accounts, and to this day blocking hateful people? I don’t! I was just so disappointed in my generation and I wanted nothing to do with them. I could cry just thinking about it.

But nonetheless, we’ve overcome the hatred and the society became more woke. And I love the community I am living in, minus a few of those conventional thinkers. Also, nowadays I can enter the Facebook or Instagram and not see endless fighting and rudeness. That is what I’ve always wanted.

I see positive people with open minds and a big heart.

When I graduated from college I have promised myself that I am going to sell my laptop and manage my life just with my phone. Well, that didn’t quite go as planned. I definitely need the internet right now. Don’t like it. But, need it. I work online for a living. What an irony, right?

I am trying to control the time I spend daily on my phone or computer. I am working a full-time job that involves writing, editing and promoting a company. So, throw that outta’ window. But, I am trying to entertain my hobbies when motivation hits me. That is the time I try to put my thoughts into the computer and publish it as I am doing right now. Today is a rainy day so you know that I'm be sitting here and writing as long as I can because I love it. I also do not watch TV. I know it’s hard to believe, but I really don’t. I am also a very active and social person so I spend my spare time walking, cleaning, hanging out with my friends and family in nature.

I love to travel and if you’re also a travel junkie, you know how hard it is to get off your phone while sightseeing. But, I’ve come to the realization that I can’t enjoy the moment while constantly taking pictures, but that’s okay! I can at least re-live those moments later through them.

As I said, our memories are conducted in a 2 sentence story and I don’t want that for myself or anyone else. So, go travel and take as many photos as you can, you’ll thank yourself later. Something that I don’t do is Instagram stories while sightseeing. I do my thing – take a bunch of photos, a couple of videos and that’s it. But, after the excursion is over and I am back in my hotel, be sure I am going to bombard you with at least 20 stories at once