The Most Annoying Facebook Statuses
Social networking platforms like Facebook and Twitter have become staples in modern society. This year, Facebook claimed that it had 1.11 billion people using its site every month. That's about one seventh of the entire human population! Whatever has made Facebook popular - be it the growing access to computers, the instant gratification effect of technology or simply monopolizing on the convenience of keeping in touch with friends and family, and allowing us to talk about our favorite topic (ourselves), barring the apocalypse, Facebook isn't going away anytime soon.
Facebook may be adding updates, new features, and unwanted new layouts, but the things people post on social network websites hasn't changed since the days of Myspace. What Facebook statuses make you roll your eyes, quickly scroll past, or causes you to block their updates? Here are some of the most common pet peeves!
1. "It's 4 am lol, I'm still awake." On the Internet, there is an apparent need to brag about how little sleep one gets (often followed by a competitive "Well, I was awake at 5 am!"). Especially among the younger crowd, staying awake past one in the morning evidently merits such a trophy status to showcase your sweet insomnia.
2. "Pass this on or face the consequences!" Oh, superstitious chain memes. These things have existed since the dawn of e-mail, and probably before that, too. Something along the lines of "post this status" or "send this to twenty people" with consequences varying from never finding true love to painful death by poltergeist.
3. "I just made toast" and other non-substantial updates. Okay, you're hungry. Okay, you might go shopping today. Okay, you just spent ten minutes on the toilet. Hey, it's your Facebook, by all means post what you like, but when we have that one friend show up fifteen times on our feed every day, we start to wish Facebook had a spam folder.
4. "Here's a picture of my new haircut! And another. And another." I'm sure we all have that friend who really likes the way he or she looks. The selfie-addict who is so afraid we'll forget about them if we don't see their newest shade of lipstick or cool sunglasses pose, so posts a picture, or two, or five of themselves every day. Their albums resemble a stalker's basement, with hundreds and hundreds of pictures just of them.
5. "My baby did the most adorable thing in the ten minutes since I last updated about my baby!" Not dissimilar to the selfie-addict, new parents can get a bit excessive with their baby updates. Everyone wants to see a few pictures of your kid, but how many actually have to be all over the Internet? Sometimes, it's not only newborns, but preborns, complete with sonogram pictures - sometimes tagged with Facebook account Baby apparently set up - I know Zuckerberg said the minimum age to use Facebook was thirteen, but I'm pretty sure he didn't mean thirteen weeks!
6. The graphic car crash tell-all. I have a Facebook friend, who is little more than a we-met-twice acquaintance in real life. Yet I know everything about each boyfriend she has, the breakup drama, the husband, the kids and the divorce. I can see the fights between her and her exes as they take place. I get that Facebook might be a good way to organize your thoughts and even somewhat therapeutic, but do you really want to air out all of your dirty laundry on the line that everyone, from extended family to co-workers can see?
7. "I'm a proud (insert political or religious group here) and (insert opinion here) and if you disagree with me, (insert appropriate insult here)!" I'm sure most of us have the excessive political and religious rage friend. It's hard to keep the stuff you're passionate about in. But if 95% of your posts are about politics, it feels more as though we're following a blog or fan page instead of you. It also isn't a bad idea to tone it down a little, unless you genuinely enjoy arguing on the Internet - which massive evidence indicates that many people apparently do.
8. "My life is a lonely stone in a tunnel of dark shadowy darkness." Not only is all the vague angst kind of weird, it's uncomfortably reminiscent of junior high school. Sure, on occasion, everyone wants to vent a little. But when your status resembles bad poetry, and we tend to see the same woe-is-me whining every other day, don't be surprised when you're not overloaded with comforting pats on the back.
9. "I can't believe what just happened" and other cryptic "hey everybody, comment and ask me more!" questions. What is wrong with just posting what you want to say? These sort of posts just reek of begging for comments, and there gets to be a point when nobody cares except for grandma.
10. "Ooh, baby don't you know I suffer? Oh, baby can you hear me moan?" The song lyric posts. Sometimes I read a status three times in confusion, trying to figure out what my friend is trying to say, only to realize that it's simply the lyrics to some obscure song. Then, I have to figure out whether this is my friend's favorite song for the next three days, or if this lyric somehow illustrates how he or she is feeling, or if the friend simply wants everyone to guess the song and gush over how awesome it is.
11. "Like my status and I'll tell you how hot I think you are." The "like me" or "TBH" type stuff might be cool and edgy when you're taking the first steps through the journey of puberty, but not much past that.If you're an adult and posting this stuff, I have to question what you're doing with your life.