How to Develop a Closer Relationship with your Computer Repair Tech
How to Get to Know Your Computer Tech Really Well
On this site you will learn how to treat your computer so badly, you'll end up taking your computer to the repair shop. A lot. You'll learn how to let it fill up with dust, smoke and tiny fibers until it overheats, to let the antivirus expire and then go to bad web pages until it get viruses, and to carry around your laptop without a case until it gets so banged up it no longer functions.
But, you're probably wondering, why would you want to visit your tech a lot or even a couple of times? Well, maybe he or she is quite attractive and you need an excuse to drop by for a chat. Or maybe you just don't want to bother taking care of your computer yourself, since that's what computer techs and computer repair shops are for!! You don't even want to think about it. You'll get them to do the work.
Whatever the reason, just follow the suggestions that follow, and you'll be visiting your computer repair tech and singing "getting to know you, getting to know all about you." Or visit our shop website. Or, I suppose, if you don't want to visit your tech, if the good times between you two are all over, then I suppose you could do the opposite of what is suggested, to NOT visit your ex-honey the tech.
Let your Computer Get a lot of Viruses
Be Lazy and Don't Pay Attention
A really good way to get to know your computer tech well is to uninstall your anti-virus program or never to install it in the first place. Or you could let it expire or disable the scanning schedule. Of course, don't check to see if it's scanning or updating virus definitions. Just ignore it completely. Better yet just don't have one at all. Then download free music, free videos, porn, and lots of cute cursors and screen savers. Your computer will be in for repairs and maintenance in no time flat. Two weeks max.
Make Sure Your Computer Gets Filled with Dust
Never Open the Case
Another, slower way to damage your computer enough for a visit to your tech is to never clean out the dust. Don't open the case. Don't buy canned air and spray the dust off the fans. Sooner or later they will clog with dust and grime and start overheating. Who knows maybe the dust will burn out the power supply or cpu. Then you'll definitely have an excuse to visit your honey at the computer repair shop . Leave your tower on the floor near where the pets sleep. Or if you own a laptop, leave the laptop on a blanket, carpet, or sofa and let it suck in a lot of micro-fibres. You can speed up this process by keeping your computer in the kitchen near the stove. Then you'll add grease to the wad of dust clogging the vents and fans. This is hard for even your tech to remove. But at least he or she will know you like to cook and this may impress them.
If you'd like more information about canned air and computer repair, read this blog.
Let your Computer fill with Tar
Ewww. This is what computer techs says when opening up a laptop or computer that belongs to a smoker. Even if they are smokers themselves. Smoking will void your warranty if your computer is new enough to have one, and clog up the components and fans and generally gunk the whole thing up. But since Marlborough men and women are no longer considered sexy by everyone, you may want to reconsider smoking around your computer. It may make you less attractive to your computer tech sweetie.
Use Internet Explorer as your Browser
Stay away from Firefox, Google Chrome, and Opera
Internet Explorer is an unsafe browser. This is partially because it is the most common and virus creators get more bang for their buck when creating viruses for IE. Too few people use the other browsers to make it worthwhile. And partially because IE has less security features built-in to it. You'll get much more bang for your getting to the tech shop fast buck if you use it as your default browser.
Don't Get Your Adult Movies at the Store
Download Them Online.
If you are in a hurry to see your honey, the tech, then don't get your porn videos at the adult movie store down the street. Download them instead. You're probably too embarrassed to go to a real store for this anyway. The clerk will see you. Instead you'll be going to computer repair shop.. Tout de suite.
Don't Back up your Data
Do Deep Data Recovery
An excellent way to see your computer tech several times over a two weeks period is to not back up your data, photo, music, or documents. Then when your hard drive crashes badly the tech will have to do deep data recovery. This may take up to a couple of weeks. During that period you have a good reason to drop by the computer store many times. And at the end when the tech triumphantly recovers (hopefully) the photos of your once-in-a-lifetime tour of Europe, you'll have an excuse to buy him or her a dozen roses.
Short Out the Power Supply or Worse
Don't Buy a Surge Protector
A power surge protector will protect your computer from power surges so if there is uneven power within your home or business's electrical circuit your computer will not get fried during one. A good technique for visiting your tech shop more often is to remove the power surge protector and subject your device to a good jolt now and then. Plug it directly into the power outlet. Then you can be take your computer or laptop into the repair shop to get the power supply, hard drive, or motherboard replaced.
Well, by now your honey at the tech shop should at least know your name and be happy to see you, if not for your attractiveness at least for your business and your pocketbook. So you're making progress. Now he or she should be pleased if you walk in the door and not mind making chit-chat.
Is your computer tech hot? Or not.
Do you enjoy visiting your local computer repair shop?
Treat your Laptop as if it's a Sturdy Object
Bump it, Freeze it, Let the Dog Chew on it
If your tech honey still doesn't know who you are, or hasn't asked you out, you'll need a new strategy. Another way to get into the tech shop is to pretend your laptop is a sturdy object and don't put it in a nice, soft padded case. Just carry it around in your arms through all kinds of weather and let it get bumped around a lot. Make sure you leave it turned on while it's getting bumped. This should stop the hard drive, actually crash it completely. Or perhaps the motherboard circuitry will get chipped and malfunction. And there you'll find yourself, staring into the eyes of your gorgeous tech sweetie.
In our Ducktoes Computer Repair Shop we have lots of admirers, but the ones we see the most often are really good at bumping their laptops.
Here's a blog post from my Ducktoes blog for what to do someone spills a drink on your laptop: It's from the category about laptop repairs, more specifically, Calgary laptop repairs.
Expose your Laptop to Liquids
Let a Small Child with a Drink Use Your Laptop
If you really want to do damage to your laptop quickly let a child with chocolate milk or apple juice use your laptop. If some chocolate milk spills on your keyboard it will definitely need a new one. It may even need a new motherboard. Just make sure your laptop is on at the time for the greatest damage. Also make sure your honey's tech shop does laptop hardware repair. Many repair shops don't and then you would waste this whole opportunity for a visit to him or her. If you don't know any small children, an inebriated person with a beer or gin and tonic works just as well.