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5 tips to picking up Japanese Woman

Updated on September 21, 2011

Being a foreigner in a new country can be very difficult as it is and not knowing anyone can sometimes be worse. Her are 5 tips for visitors or expats in japan that would like to make some friends.

1. Do not be Aggressive.It is traditional in Japan to inherently by shy around foreigners. The Japan’s followed a strict and ridged code of social traditions that have been passed down for generations. The social traditions in japan are based on respect, honor, pride, and above all family. Trying to get a Japanese person to like you is difficult and pursuing them when they already don’t will not work. Don’t go asking for phone numbers the first time you meet and make sure that you allow room for them to grow on you.


2. Don't Talk about Anime/Manga – although you are in the land of the magical anima be aware that most of the population does not follow anima or even like it. There are groups in Japan that are available that you can probably join that are referred to as “Otaka” someone who is really into this type of media. So refrain from talking about it to most Japanese people they may end up thinking you’re a creep.

3. Don't Try to be Japanese – When you are visiting japan or living there you are going to want to absorb there culture and talk a lot about it to other Japanese people. Well they will pretend to be impressed but underneath they really don’t care about it coming forma a foreigner. They are more attracted to the foreigner that does not forget his own roots and does not try to become Japanese. So knowing everything about Japanese pop singers or Japanese history will only turn them off. Don’t be a-wanna-be ninja and I think you will get along just fine.

4. Have a Purpose for the Friendship – Japanese people are very driven to have a purpose in there friendships. If you are making friends with a Japanese person that is trying to learn English or about American culture then you can help each other by getting information from each other. This type of friendship that there is a mutual benefit and not just trying to get laid will have a better outcome then if you are looking for that. However, going after Japanese just because you are "interested in their culture" doesn't really sit well with Japanese have something in common with the people you are looking for and you will find there are rich relationships to be made.

5. Find Japanese who are Internationally Minded – With japan being one of the few countries on the world stage they really tend to keep to themselves most of the time. Many prefer to buy Japanese made goods and products in their daily lives. A lot desire to be married and have Japanese spouses or friends. But, times are a changing here in that respect and would like to be able to travel more or become expats themselves. So a lot of Japanese woman are actually going for foreign men as long as they don’t make an ass out of themselves. They want to learn English and travel for business and are very outgoing in the Japanese culture and sort of out of the norm. Thus, these types of Japanese may be overly flirty, goofy, or crazy... but at least they are interested in you!


Submit a Comment
  • Akbok profile image


    8 years ago from Aomori prefecture, Japan

    Just a quick comment on your #2 method. Instead of "otaka" I think you may have meant "otaku", which would be the person who has a "mania" for certain Scifis or animes. Good tips! I feel like they'd be useful in a variety of arenas.

  • jbooks profile image


    8 years ago from Japan

    Wow... I have to admit that I clicked the title of your hub with trepidation but am happy I can agree with your advice.

    I think #4 is a really good point, and #5 can help if you don't have too strong a #4.

  • Edwin Clark profile image

    Edwin Clark 

    8 years ago from Thailand by way of New York

    Yeah, my Japanese girlfriend left me because I was a Ninja fanatic ;)

  • magnoliazz profile image


    9 years ago from Wisconsin

    I love the wolf avatar! I had a dog that looked like this wolf!

    Anyhow, other cultures are always interesting, how they think and feel and love and relate to the rest of the world.

    Unlike American women, who jump into bed with strangers the first time they meet....( I cannot even believe how stupid that is) it sounds as if Japanese women have a lot of sense and caution when getting involved with a stranger, and that is very intelligent and sensible. American women could learn a lot from that, they are way too easy!

    Wonderful and interesting hub!

  • Kadmiels profile imageAUTHOR


    9 years ago from Florida

    All of you are right it is funny but sometimes when dealing with real life issues that is the funniest. but don;t get me wrong japanese woman are a beauty

  • luvintkandtj profile image


    9 years ago from USA

    Grea thub. i got a laugh out of it

  • Mystique1957 profile image


    9 years ago from Caracas-Venezuela


    You really gave me a good, healthy laugh. I relate to what you said entirely. I lived in Japan for 6 years, I have a Japanese son, and I was married to a Japanese lady for 14. I miss Japan because I have many things rooted there. It isn´t an easy society indeed, but once you get the drift, you will be able to blend in "sukoshisutsu". Thanks for this sweet and nostalgic reminder! Rated up, useful and funny!

    Warmest hugs and infinite heavenly blessings,


  • nikitha p profile image

    nikitha p 

    9 years ago from India

    nice hub

  • Tkumah profile image


    9 years ago

    It sounds like in Japan, 'baloney' is not a big sale. Interesting.

  • Property-Invest profile image


    9 years ago from London

    Very funny hub. I have South African friends living and working in Japan and they say the same thing!

  • De Greek profile image

    De Greek 

    9 years ago from UK

    I have worked in Japan in my youth so I can confirm what you are saying. :-)


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