ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Enjoy Pennsylvania

Updated on May 14, 2016
The Keystone State. by rlz
The Keystone State. by rlz

In these stressful economic times, are you looking for a fun and inexpensive vacation the entire family can enjoy? Well, look no further! I’ve got a great guide to the little-known wonders of the Keystone State of Pennsylvania. All you’ll need are a good road map, a vehicle, some time, and a sense of humor.

You may not be aware of this, but the rolling and wooded terrain of the state of Pennsylvania is peppered with hundreds of small towns, each having its own quaint charm, and often a distinctive and unforgettable name. Begin your enjoyment by hitting the road for a driving trip through some of these tiny but memorable towns.

Only in Pennsylvania are Mars and Venus ever within 55 miles of each other. Head north from Pittsburgh and you can check out both for an out-of-this-world afternoon. Then, turn southeast, and if you plan your route carefully, you can make it from Scotland to Egypt by way of Mexico in just 3 hours!

Worried about how to afford this trip? No problem — start out at Gold, pick up something at Emerald, browse Cashtown, and stop at Dime and Nickleville, if necessary. Should all else fail, make a side trip to Bullion and don’t forget Coupon. (On the return trip, you can always run through Frugality on your way to Economy, hit Presto, and maybe you’ll make it all the way to Prosperity!)

As you roll down Route 93, be sure to cheer Jim Thorpe. You can sing along to Glen Campbell as you pass on State Road 219. Make sure you take plenty of tanning lotion to Sunnyburn, and watch for the speedtrap at Trooper. Don’t stop for lunch in Frogtown or Raccoon; save your appetite for Plum, Lemon, Nectarine and Choconut.

Tired of your friends bragging about the great cities they’ve seen? Well, only in Pennsylvania can you cruise through Paris, Rome, Venice, Versailles, Washington, Belfast and Dublin on a single tank of gas. Take an extra day, and add Oakland, Sacramento, Brooklyn, Bunker Hill, Damascus, Nuremberg, East Berlin, Waterloo, Denver, Palo Alto, Nashville, Mt. Aetna and Liverpool (be sure to buy a Beatles postcard!).

As you tour the central part of the state, call on Mildred and Mabel and Natalie and Bernice and Rupert and Conrad and Anita and Bryan. Don’t mind the screeching from Ono. If the haunted house at Munster freaks you out, you can hole up in the safety of Forty Fort.

Newlyweds are encouraged to leave Panic and Desire and Good Intent behind; in a fast car, you can make it from Virginville to Intercourse in less than an hour, by way of Bird-in-Hand. After driving by Starlight and resting your head in Pillow, you’ll be leaving Rough and Ready the next morning! Teetotalers are welcome in Dry Tavern, while Hecktown is for those who don’t swear, and Drab is for those with absolutely no vices whatsoever. (Avoid Grimmville; it’s no fun.) If you’ve got young children with you, you’ll want to venture from Elmo in the west through Bart in the east, all the way to Simpson.

If you’re running out of things to do, check out Library. And, at the end of your trip, you can leave your car in Avis, but along the way don’t forget to stop by Yocumville to say hi to Li’l Abner and Mammy!

Not enough adventure? Try rickzworld next.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)