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I'M BACK...FROM CRUISING BY b. Malin

Updated on April 12, 2011

A WORD TO THE WISE...

If you go on a Cruise...And want it to be a "Relaxing Cruise"...

Rule ONE would be, DON'T GO DURING SPRING BREAK!

What's that you say, Didn't we Know...NO, NO, we didn't know!

I also didn't know that my Carry on Bag, would set off a PROBLEM.

"No Problem", the X-Ray Tech said as he set the Bag down...

And began to open and sniff each and every Bottle around.

I was hoping he'd have an Allergy attack...Sorry I know he was just doing his job.

Now once again with everything intact, except for the bottle he forgot to tighten...

We are boarding our Ship to start a wonderful Five Night Cruise with THREE THOUSAND OTHERS...One Thousand Adults, Fifteen Hundred College kids and Five Hundred KIDS! FUN, FUN, FUN! By day two, the parents of those children no longer knew them, so the kids layed all over the steps, pressed every button in the elevators, and just ran WILD! And ATE EVERYTHING IN SIGHT! The College kids, do what college kids do, they sunbathed, got drunk and just had their own brand of FUN!

Our stateroom was a wonderful sight to see, for it had a BALCONY that overlooked the Sea...A perfect place for just Lover Man and Me...

Dinner wasn't until Eight-thirty...plenty of time to unpack and choose, from the Brochure, what to do when we reach stop one, "Georgetown, Grand Cayman"...A Bicycle Adventure!

And an Adventure it was! We were issued Mountain Bikes and Safety gear to ride along the rugged Coastline with our Guide and six others, and a back up guide in a truck...We would also visit a "Turtle Farm", and a Place called "Hell"...and "Millionaire's Row" before refreshments were served. It sounded GOOD ON PAPER...

However, it was NOT! The gears didn't work, Lover Man's Brakes didn't Brake...and "HELL" turned out to be a Bar with Jagged Limestone Formations out back. The bathroom in "Hell" was monitored by two little Mexican Women, who, with a smile on their faces, handed me two tiny pieces of toilet paper...I restrained myself from grabbing the whole roll, and begged for a little more...another Smile, another two tiny sheets!

Refreshments turned out to be a small store that sold RUM, RUM, AND MORE RUM...Lover Man and I tasted a sample or two, and some Rum flavored Brownies...But chose not to buy anything there...BIG MISTAKE, for we got left behind...Backup Man was no where in sight! Fifteen minutes later and a scary ride back on a truck-filled road, we made the right turn and saw Backup Man's truck sticking out of a driveway...Guess who didn't get a Tip...And guess who refunded us our money when we got back on Board...Not a PLEASANT Experience...Oh yeah, and we never got to see Millionaire's Row...Rule two, be careful what you sign up for.

The next day we were going on a one of a kind Adventure in Cozumel, Mexico. Lover Man and I would be driving a "Scoot Coupe". Which was a two person, three wheel Scooter that looks like a miniature convertible car, ours was Bright RED...WE HAD A BALL! We experienced the Beauty of Cozumel's Coast Line, white Sandy Beaches, and Blue Green Waters, followed up at a lovely Beach Club for a cool refreshing drink and snack. Rule Three, there is Always Tomorrow!

And when all the FUN of the Ship got to be too much for Lover Man and Me, we'd steal away to our Balcony on the open Sea...


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    • Fiddleman profile image

      Robert Elias Ballard 6 years ago from Zirconia, North Carolina

      My wife has contemplated a cruise and some in our family have actually gone a couple. They had a great time. I've heard about a cruise that Rhonda Vincent has each year, nothing but ocean and lots of bluegrass and I have heard the chow hall is open 24/7 with about any and all the great food one might want to eat.

    • b. Malin profile image
      Author

      b. Malin 6 years ago

      Yes, the Food is always there, and the people we met at our table were loads of laughs and Fun...but this Cruise was just too many people and the kids ran wild! But still we had fun!!

    • profile image

      Cheryl Kapelner-Champ 6 years ago

      Very interesting trip w/ good descriptions, & excellent advice. Land ho!, but it sounded like u* made it fun!

      love & peace always,

      Cher

    • thebluestar profile image

      Annette Donaldson 6 years ago from Northern Ireland

      Oh b. welcome home!!! at least you are still in one piece. I always fancied a cruise, thanks for the tip of not going in spring. Bike ride are you serious, that sounds like to much hard work for a holiday. x

    • breakfastpop profile image

      breakfastpop 6 years ago

      Generally speaking the tours are awful and disappointing, so caution is advised. Let's face it spring break is not a great time to go anywhere. Next time, if there is a next time, pick a time when kids are in school and ask whoever you book with if there are any large groups booked on the cruise. I swear cruising is great!

    • arb profile image

      arb 6 years ago from oregon

      nice summary b. we go every Jan. between seasons and in need of warm weather. Some lines cater more to the party crowd too. we too have taken some looser day trips, makes the good ones better I suppose. Glad your back and I guess it was still better than chores.

    • b. Malin profile image
      Author

      b. Malin 6 years ago

      Hey Cheryl, fun is what you make it...and when I see you, we'll have some laughs...thanks for stopping by.

      Yes, Bluestar Biking was a lot of work and our Guide was such a character...It should have been fun...but it wasn't!

      You are so right Breakfastpops, we have LEARNED from this experience...we'd still Cruise again...when Lover Man gets over his Hissy Fits! Not a Happy Man at the moment.

      Arb, we met the most fabulous couple at our Dinner Table, and they live 45 min. from us in NJ...we never laughed so hard...Dinners will never be the same. We will be getting together, when we go back to Jersey at the end of the month. The Cruise wasn't all bad, glad to hear you've had some duds too...Does that come across alright? You know what I mean.

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 6 years ago

      ...welcome back my friend - safe and sound - at your hub post - thank you for your shout out and your comments to me - and yes I missed you ...but I am very glad to read your inimitable and enjoyable account of your cruise adventures - and it just goes to show you - you can write about anything - and you always do it so well!!!

    • b. Malin profile image
      Author

      b. Malin 6 years ago

      Thank you my friend Epigramman for your comments. It is good to be back on Dry Land with Lots of Toilet Paper and all the things we take for granted!!

    • Fossillady profile image

      Kathi 6 years ago from Saugatuck Michigan

      Thank goodness for tomorrows...that was a funny read...although I'm sure it wasn't funny at the time...glad to have you back and it sounds like you're happy to be back!

    • b. Malin profile image
      Author

      b. Malin 6 years ago

      You are so right Fosillady,..we had a lot of Laughs with our Dinner Friends, but on board with all those people, it was great to escape to our Balcony! We are still laughing about the Toilet Paper experience! But I will also add, the Mexican people are wonderful and so polite.

    • bellawritter23 profile image

      Erica Sanchez 6 years ago from California

      B., Well I hope you made the best of it :, It sounds like if you did but a very fun read indeed!! Thanks for sharing.

      smiles :)

      bella

    • b. Malin profile image
      Author

      b. Malin 6 years ago

      We did Bella, we did...and now we are laughing about it, and of course I'm Hubbing about it!

    • sweetie1 profile image

      sweetie1 5 years ago from India

      Hi B Malin though i have never been on cruise before.. but thanks for the tips.. they would be handy if i ever get a chance to go on a cruise

    • b. Malin profile image
      Author

      b. Malin 5 years ago

      Cruises can be Fun and the Food is usually Top of the Line. Thanks for coming by and enjoying my Tips, Sweetie.

    • alocsin profile image

      alocsin 5 years ago from Orange County, CA

      Yikes. Never been on a cruise during Spring Break. And now I know that I never will. Voting this Up and Funny.

    • b. Malin profile image
      Author

      b. Malin 5 years ago

      Trust me Alocsin, We will NEVER go again during Spring Break...Glad you thought my Hub Funny...It was a Trip to Remember, thanks for your Vote!

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