I'M BACK...FROM CRUISING BY b. Malin

If you go on a Cruise...And want it to be a "Relaxing Cruise"...

Rule ONE would be, DON'T GO DURING SPRING BREAK!

What's that you say, Didn't we Know...NO, NO, we didn't know!

I also didn't know that my Carry on Bag, would set off a PROBLEM.

"No Problem", the X-Ray Tech said as he set the Bag down...

And began to open and sniff each and every Bottle around.

I was hoping he'd have an Allergy attack...Sorry I know he was just doing his job.

Now once again with everything intact, except for the bottle he forgot to tighten...

We are boarding our Ship to start a wonderful Five Night Cruise with THREE THOUSAND OTHERS...One Thousand Adults, Fifteen Hundred College kids and Five Hundred KIDS! FUN, FUN, FUN! By day two, the parents of those children no longer knew them, so the kids layed all over the steps, pressed every button in the elevators, and just ran WILD! And ATE EVERYTHING IN SIGHT! The College kids, do what college kids do, they sunbathed, got drunk and just had their own brand of FUN!

Our stateroom was a wonderful sight to see, for it had a BALCONY that overlooked the Sea...A perfect place for just Lover Man and Me...

Dinner wasn't until Eight-thirty...plenty of time to unpack and choose, from the Brochure, what to do when we reach stop one, "Georgetown, Grand Cayman"...A Bicycle Adventure!

And an Adventure it was! We were issued Mountain Bikes and Safety gear to ride along the rugged Coastline with our Guide and six others, and a back up guide in a truck...We would also visit a "Turtle Farm", and a Place called "Hell"...and "Millionaire's Row" before refreshments were served. It sounded GOOD ON PAPER...

However, it was NOT! The gears didn't work, Lover Man's Brakes didn't Brake...and "HELL" turned out to be a Bar with Jagged Limestone Formations out back. The bathroom in "Hell" was monitored by two little Mexican Women, who, with a smile on their faces, handed me two tiny pieces of toilet paper...I restrained myself from grabbing the whole roll, and begged for a little more...another Smile, another two tiny sheets!

Refreshments turned out to be a small store that sold RUM, RUM, AND MORE RUM...Lover Man and I tasted a sample or two, and some Rum flavored Brownies...But chose not to buy anything there...BIG MISTAKE, for we got left behind...Backup Man was no where in sight! Fifteen minutes later and a scary ride back on a truck-filled road, we made the right turn and saw Backup Man's truck sticking out of a driveway...Guess who didn't get a Tip...And guess who refunded us our money when we got back on Board...Not a PLEASANT Experience...Oh yeah, and we never got to see Millionaire's Row...Rule two, be careful what you sign up for.

The next day we were going on a one of a kind Adventure in Cozumel, Mexico. Lover Man and I would be driving a "Scoot Coupe". Which was a two person, three wheel Scooter that looks like a miniature convertible car, ours was Bright RED...WE HAD A BALL! We experienced the Beauty of Cozumel's Coast Line, white Sandy Beaches, and Blue Green Waters, followed up at a lovely Beach Club for a cool refreshing drink and snack. Rule Three, there is Always Tomorrow!

And when all the FUN of the Ship got to be too much for Lover Man and Me, we'd steal away to our Balcony on the open Sea...