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If you could travel to any planet or moon, which would it be?

Updated on December 2, 2012

ThompsonPen asks the question, "if you could travel to any planet or moon,which would it be?"

I don't have a passport, but I can answer this question.

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While there are probably millions of planets out there, I'm only going to focus on or own Solar System. I'm deleting the moons from this equation. I associate moons with pulling down your pants and showing your butt. So we will get Uranus right out of the way because of the butt joke it is used in. Don't want to travel down that road.

Mercury might be a good place to visit. Don't know if it's hot as Hell, but I bet it's close. Imagine you would get a great tan on Mercury. It's a shame it would only last a second before you burned up.I hate the heat. No go Mercury.

Next up Venus. Nasa spent some time looking at Venus. Really nothing exciting came from their drive by. Matter of fact it seemed boring. If this is going to be an adventure, I want excitement! Skipping Venus.

Mars is intriguing. Best planet in our Solar System. besides Earth, to contain life. Imagine little green men taking you on a tour of the hot spots for Martian nightlife. Imagine it's like Mexico. Don't drink the water. Just kidding Mexico. I love you. In conclusion, Mars is out.

Good old Jupiter is next. The biggest and stormiest planet. Does anyone really want to visit a storm raged planet? So much for outdoor activities. Besides, it's got that eye thing going. I know it's the center of a storm, but it's an eye. I don't want that thing watching change into my pajamas before bedtime! Cross off Jupiter.

I'm not going to Saturn. First, the name reminds me of the car. Second, it has rings. Rings remind me of marriage. Marriage reminds me of my wife. You see where this is going.

Already discussed Uranus and the butt joke.

Moving to Neptune. This is the planet no one seems to talk about. Don't know why. It seems Neptune needs a better Public Relations man. I can't go anywhere I know so little about.

That leaves Pluto. Since I haven't gone anywhere yet, you assume I'm going there. Uh uh. It's cold out there! Dark too! besides I think Disney owns the rights to Pluto. Oh........wait....That's the dog. Anyway, Pluto is off my list.

So Where Am I Going

I don't know the name of the planet. Not even sure if it has a name. For all I know it cold be identified by a number. Don't know where this planet is. Might be close by, in space talk, or it might be far away. Not even sure if I would survive a trip to this planet. I know less about this planet then I do about Neptune!

Now I'm sure you are wondering why i would go to this planet? Does it even exist? Yes. It does exist. I know that for a fact. I also know it has life. No, I'm not crazy.

You see, my wife has to be from another planet. Oh she make look human, but there are times she doesn't act human. She says she is adopted and there are no traces of her birth parents. I think it's a cover story. I think her friends are also from her planet. I believe ladies night out is just a cover for planning the attack on earth.

I've seen my wife naked. I've searched every inch of her body while lovemaking, trying to find something out of the ordinary. Haven't found a thing! Searched her purse for communication devices. Found nothing. Unless her cell phone has great coverage.

We have a child together. She's not "normal" either. I just don't know if it's the alien part or the blonde part. Then again it might be both.

Am I Crazy?

At first glimpse you may say these are the ramblings of a crazy man. This man hates his wife and this is his way of expression. Wrong on both counts. I love my wife and I'm not crazy.

Think about the people in your life. Family, friends, people you work with. You know someone that seems a little strange. Someone who might be an alien.Go ahead, admit it. I'm right! I got you thinking now.

Crazy or sane, the planet I would like to visit is the one my wife came from.

The Space Travel Poll

Which Planet Would You Travel To?

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