Nashville's Flooding and sorrows
Tennessee has unexpected flooding
Saturday May 1st 2010 was to be the highest recorded rainfall in the state of Tennessee. Unfortunately for many it was also the end of life as they had formerly known it. The rainfall was nothing like expected, the usual this time of year is a few inches tops. In areas just south of Nashville within 2 days time we saw up to 20 inches of rainfall. To say this was a freak of nature would be an understatement.
I am now just starting to comprehend the magnitude of what it must feel like to the folks of New Orleans in the wake of Katrina. We just had a portion of their experience and it is almost more than the mind can take. The feelings that I have felt over the past week have ranged from one extreme to the other. I can't imagine what it must be like to lose all that you have worked for in a few days of rain.
The thought of losing ones home, belongings, loved ones and pets is more than my mind can take at the moment. I have spoke to friends who had from inches to feet of water in their homes and businesses. I had just one small room get water into it and the floors bowed and warped. My garage and shop happened to be hit as well as my hay barn and just this small amount sent me threw various feelings from grief, sadness, gratitude, awe, fear, anxiety, relief and more sadness. I felt as if I was on a roller coaster of emotions, imagine if I had had the magnitude that many others in Nashville had?
Part of me feels guilty even talking about my feelings. My damage is so trivial compared to the folks who lost everything. Yet I am experiencing this strange grief with the parting of things both sentimental and trivial. It is making me look at my life and my possessions in a whole new way. I must say that it feels as if I am being made to purge, cleanse and release items in my life that a no longer as necessary.
Does it make me mad? Not really, more sad than anything. Sad that I won't get to read those stories my daughter wrote in grade school regarding a summer vacation we took. Or sad that I don't have a drawing she gave me for Mothers Day all those years ago. Yet I have her, our home, our life still in tact for the most part.
I have this overwhelming sadness for the people who lost loved ones, for our city that is struggling to get it's drinking water and electricity back. Sadness for people having to endure such hardship and seeing it up close. I have not seen such devastation up close before and it is hard to process and take in.
The more I talk to friends many are having the same sorts of feelings about loss, even if not their own. We all seem to be in mourning as if we all lost someone near and dear. Yes we did lose a community elder in the small town I am apart of. He ran out to do an errand and was swept away by the flood waters and drowned. I hear about these things on the news all the time by this time it's personal. It's in my town, my neighborhood, my neighbor.
I am also feeling overwhelming gratitude that I was spared the worst of the damage. That by some miracle I happened to live in the right area on the right street on higher ground. It has made me think of my faith and what is most important in life. I guess in these circumstances we all reassess our lives and count our blessings.
I know I have always told those I love how much they mean but I may do it more often after such a loss as this. I will be more intentional with my actions and words, even more so than usual. I have tried to be the best person I can be but now I want to do even more than my usual volunteering. All this makes me want to go into a control mode so that I can keep bad things from happening. Yet I know that surrender is what I must move towards. Their are just some things I cannot avoid, like floods. I can't control the weather, Mother Nature has other things in mind. Our poor Earth is just trying it's best to get comfortable and these freak weather occurrences just happen to be the outcome.
I know I will have more insights to come but for right now I am sending love and prayers to all those who suffer. I would like to say I hope to never see such sights again but I know that with life comes death, suffering, tragedies, birth, change and floods. I can't shelter myself from such events even if I wanted to.
If you have a moment please say a blessing/prayer for the City of Nashville's residents and people of Tennessee they could use them. As for me I am just fine and will clean up what little mess I have on my farm and grow from the event.