The Tourist Idiot in Yellowstone National Park

Welcome to Yellowstone: A haven for nature lovers and a surprising challenge for some. Let's explore the delicate art of being a respectful visitor. We'll delve into the age-old question: How can we coexist peacefully with those who seem intent on testing the limits of common sense?

We've all encountered them: the tourists who inadvertently turn vacation into a comedy of errors. While it's tempting to channel our inner wildlife and roar in frustration, let's agree to keep our cool (and our hands on the steering wheel). After all, we're here to enjoy the park, not become part of the spectacle.

Yellowstone's thermal features are undoubtedly awe-inspiring. But with great beauty comes great responsibility. Let's be clear: These aren't giant, natural hot tubs. They're volatile, potentially dangerous environments.

We've all seen the shocking videos of tourists misadventures. Don't be that person. The temptation to ignore warnings might be strong, but trust us, the consequences aren't worth it.

Many thermal features look harmless, but beneath that serene surface lurks extreme heat and acidity. It's like dipping your hand in battery acid – a recipe for disaster. And let's not forget the children. Supervise them closely. A moment of inattention can lead to a lifetime of regret.

Some areas are off-limits for a reason. The ground is fragile, and the risk of injury is real. Ignoring these rules not only endangers yourself but also puts immense strain on park rangers who have to deal with the aftermath.

Let's all work together to protect this incredible natural wonder. Admire from a safe distance, respect the rules, and help keep Yellowstone pristine for generations to come.

Driving in Yellowstone can be challenging, especially for those unfamiliar with the park's unique road layouts. The Old Faithful area, in particular, can be confusing for first-time visitors. The road loops around, and it's easy to get turned around, especially if you're not paying attention.

One common mistake is attempting to back up or make a U-turn on the one-way road. This is not only dangerous but also illegal. If you miss your turn, simply continue around the loop until you reach your desired destination.

Another common mistake is driving distracted. This can lead to accidents, as it's easy to miss a turn or veer off the road if you're not paying attention. It's important to stay focused on the road and be aware of your surroundings.

If you see someone driving erratically or dangerously, report them to a park ranger immediately. It's important to keep everyone safe, including yourself.

By following these tips, you can help ensure a safe and enjoyable driving experience in Yellowstone.

I know you’re probably thinking you have manners, and I’m sure you do. Some people seem to forget them when on vacation. I have been pushed, cut in front of in line at the grocery store in West Yellowstone, ran into, flipped off, honked at, yelled at and even saw a man release his flatulence right next to my fiancé and walk off. He didn’t speak English, so all Coty said was, “Ooooh, good one!” He’s a man, what can you do? I just found it rude. When that man released his gases, it was inside the Old Faithful Lodge (Not the Inn) and it echoed. There were probably about 100 people in there, and it was “Library quiet”. Funny, I know, but very rude.

I was brought up that flatulence was something you did in private, never around anyone. I was taught it is degrading to do that around someone. Nobody wants to smell what your intestines reek of, and it embarrasses people. I can handle it, my man is gross (and so is my dog), but I still get on to him about it, and I don’t do that in front of anyone. Treat others how you want to be treated, and respect will get you respect back. I’m not perfect by any means, and I am no delicate flower what so ever, but don’t crap your pants around me, please. I don’t need to smell your Bratwurst and Sauerkraut you had for lunch a week ago.

Also, don’t cut in line. I will probably knock out the next person that cuts in front of me, but with my mind, not my fist.

According to Classic Travel USA (ClassicTravelUSA.com), they tell you a few Do’s and Don’ts but I am going to modify them for you.

On Vacation:

Do – Go with the Flow; Don’t go on the bathroom floor.

ClassicTravelUSA tells vacationers to go with the flow and to remember things are different where you’re visiting, and probably not what you’re used to. Do your research about where you’re going, and check out the culture beforehand. It’s like visiting New York when you’re from Kansas. It’s faster paced, and you won’t be used to it. Visiting Yellowstone is slower paced, but then we get those people that just want to go, go, go and those are the people that run into me constantly. The “bathroom floor” portion of this is just that. Don’t do any sort of number of bathroom habits on the floor. That’s just gross, and it happens every single day. You know who you are.

Do – Know what to bring; Don’t bring bath salts.

ClassicTravelUSA tells us to make sure we don’t delay our flights or travel by bringing prohibited items with us. If you have bear spray, ship it to yourself. If you’re going to West Yellowstone, ship it general delivery to yourself and pick it up when you get here. If you’re not flying, you can bring it with you and nobody will care. Leave the drugs at home, this is a place of tranquility and stinky tourist farts (or maybe it’s the stinky thermal features?) and don’t want your crazy, hallucinogenic drugs here, and I’m sure you’re not –that- guy. A large abundance of alcohol will do just fine, and please don’t go on the boardwalk if you’ve been drinking.

Don’t -- Over plan; Do leave room to do all the stuff in my Secrets of Yellowstone Guide.

If you over plan, you’ll be stressed about sticking to your plan and stress everyone else out also and you’ll be running around like a chicken with its head cut off and you’ll be so overwhelmed, you may just forget where you are and forget what you were doing. Don’t forget what you were doing.

Most Importantly: Have a good time, and stay safe.

Also, a tip about Wyoming: Before you decide to be a jackass (I’m sure you won’t) and go all road-rage on someone here, or shove someone, or do anything remotely stupid towards another person at all, Wyoming is an open carry state. That means any person can carry a firearm openly, and not have to consult the government about it or let them know they have a firearm. You’re not going to get shot here, but just assume everyone carries a weapon, and you’ll be forever safe and maybe a bit paranoid. Most people do only for the purposes of wild life. Coty and I have two guns here that never leave the apartment because they're backup. We've never had to use them, and I'm sure we never will. I'd rather have them and not need them than need them and not have them, if that makes sense. We have never had a gun problem here, except, well, last year, but that was an employee's husband and a long story. You're safe here.

If you want up-to-date information about Yellowstone or traveling, follow us on Twitter @GrovesTravels, or you can follow my personal Twitter, @StefaGT.

This equipment are scopes and binoculars I have seen people carry through out the park. I have had the chance to look through a scope on a tri-pod and could see a wolf cub eating bison meat about 8+ miles away. The owner of the scope was letting everyone look through it, and said it would let you look about 16 miles away.

I find this to be necessary because not everything is right next to the road, and you don't always want to go hiking or looking for trouble. You're a human in an animal home, they have the right-of-way here in Yellowstone, and we shouldn't make them feel invaded upon by going to their Wolf Dens, or Bear Caves. This equipment will let you view everything you need to from the side of the road. Expensive, a little. Worth it? Definitely. You can also take pictures through your scope, or just get a scope that has a camera inside of it. There's also night vision and thermal scopes, monoculars and binoculars that I would love to have. Still trying to save up the pennies for that one.

Leica APO-Televid 65 Angled with 25-50x WW ASPH 40132

12 X 36 Is Ii Binoculars With Optical Image Stabilizer