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Hunting the Wild Haggis animal

Updated on January 25, 2013

the wild scottish haggis ( dangerous if startled)

The Selkirk Haggis Hunt 2008


As you all know Haggis isn`t a little animal that roams the hills and glens of Scotland.

but for those unsuspecting tourists out there here is a guide to hunting them.

1. Grab yourself a daft and gullible tourist.

2. Promise them a rare sighting of the Haggis (or Haggi if they want to be greedy and see a herd) for £20 an hour.

3. Lock and load the shotgun and crossbow for effect. (Tell the worried tourists that they are wild and savage beasties)

4. Don the Harris Tweed and Tam O Shanter, ensuring the bagpipes are visible on the back seat.

5. In a broad and thick accent, ensuring you roll your rrr's, ask if they want to see the 3 legged species (three legs help them go round the hills faster) or the four legged species.

6. Drive to a bonnie place where you can enjoy a spot of fishing whilst the numptees go off and hunt the haggis.

7. Have a wee laugh as you pocket an easy £20!

8. Double your profits and sell them the fish you've just poached.

let me know if you catch 1 .....jimmy


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      monapause 4 years ago

      being an american, I must say I have always heard haggis was a bunch of veggies and meat cooked in a sheep bladder. I've never heard of an animal called a haggis. today someone posted the picture you have on this page and then said it was a haggis. it looks like a duck billed platypus.

      so I looked it up and came across this same picture and found this page. a whole bunch of other websites said the same's a myth.

      sounds like the haggis animal is the scottish equivalent of the american mythological creature called a "snipe". snipe hunts are usually tricks that american guys play on their kids during camping trips. they give them toy bows and arrows and no description of what the "snipe" looks like and tell them to go off into the woods and go get one. that leaves the dads to sit around the campfire, drink beer and tell adult jokes without the kids hearing it. ha ha ha!

    • profile image

      carly 6 years ago

      WHAT? their not real?:(

    • jimmythejock profile image

      James Paterson 9 years ago from Scotland

      page Updated 5th July 2008, hope you all enjoy.....jimmy

    • jimmythejock profile image

      James Paterson 10 years ago from Scotland

      Jimmy's gone a hunting Haggis.....jimmy

    • Paul Edmondson profile image

      Paul Edmondson 11 years ago from Burlingame, CA

      Jimmy, too much. Lol.