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Valentines Day Lesson for Guys | It's The Card Stupid! It's The Card!

Updated on March 16, 2011

Some advice for all my fellow males of the homo-sapiens species. St. Valentines Day is the holiday of love. But more importantly, it’s a chance to give your huny something special cause she picked you. Yes guys, get real you may have been the one to ask her to marry you but trust me she picked you. That makes you the luckiest dog in the pound. Recent events highlight this as since she certainly picked you, if you get stupid, she can learn how to effectively use a nine iron in a hurry and reverse her earlier decision.

Since it is traditional to give your huny a gift (preferably an intimate one) on this mid-month marker in the coldest month of the year. There are many, many options. Sure you can give jewelry, flowers, candy, pajama’s, undies, camisoles, etc (though they are on to us with the Victoria’s Secret stuff, since they know it’s really for your enjoyment). I would in fact recommend you do, but there is one thing in particular that you absolutely must not forget. That is ‘The Card’.

Yes puckie, it’s The Card, it’s The Card, it’s The Card! Burn that into your miniscule pile of cranial mush. You see if you are newly wed, if you have young Children, if you’re just starting out in married life; expensive gifts may not be in order. Believe it or not women (the good ones anyway) understand this, as they are likely to be even more acutely aware of your current financial condition than you are. But there is absolutely no excuse for not providing a card that expresses in some humble way your passion for the very thought of her. After all, face it guys, you can stop what you’re doing in the middle of the work day, and focus your thoughts on her naked, and little Percy will rear his little head and ask you “You needed me?”

So whatever you do, above all do not forget the Hallmark. Now having established that; there are many ways to accomplish this mission. It does not take a great deal of money to provide a card or it’s functional equivalent. Most good commercial cards run from $3-10.00.

But if you are really down on your luck, if you really don’t have to pennies to rub together. Then first God Bless you. But do not let this deter you as you are about to make a memory that will when she tells it to all her female friends, will elicit the “Awwwww” ( you know the sound that they all makes that comes from right behind the uterus and goes straight to their brains) that means you hit a life time winning home run on the Love Front. That’s right I said make a memory, yepper make her a homemade card. If you have to steal the paper from work and just like in fourth grade fold it in half and cut the heart out. Then get a few of the colored post it notes off your bosses desk and cut some little hearts and bows out and tack them to the card. Compose your message fold it in half, and when you get home you hold her hand, get down on bended knee and say “Baby I have something for you.” Then give her the card and say the phrase. No not “let’s knock off a bit” Just say I love you and let the winds of passion flow lad.

Another way to do it “inexpensively” is again with the post it notes. Get a pad of them a few days before say around the 10th. For three days every time you think of her write it down on a Post it Z”I thought of you because…”. Or start a poem and put each line on one post it and keep a complete copy on another page. Get up early on the 14th and post them around the house. Don’t be afraid to tuck them in nooks and crannies cause once she finds the first one, she'll start looking for the others. Let her try to arrange them to match your poem and when you come home from work have her read it to you the way she put it together and you read her the original composition. Then play around with it together and come up with “Your (couples) Valentine Poem 2010” It will all go in a scrap book and like I said, when she tells and or shows it to other women (and she will) the “awwwws” will flow like the Mekong River in the Monsoon season.

So OK lad, knowledge is power and you now have it. Now, get out there and make your sweetie happy!

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