Penguins Are NOT Cute: Here's Why

Growing up I never had a thing for birds. Birds are weird, freaky, and unpredictable. Though there are some birds that are adorable and cute and just everything you’ve ever wanted in a flying creature. I myself am partial to peacocks, ostriches, and flamingos. Penguins, however, I’ve never found cute.

Penguins are flightless birds who find a way to become food for so many different predators. They still migrate even though they're already living in the coldest climate possible. Their little "tuxedos" don't give them a pass to be pretty useless.

Each species has different "cute" attributes. Being cute still doesn't give any of them a pass to be useless. Some penguins still try to fly even though they know they can not. Penguins trying to fly is what sends them over cliffs, plummeting to their demise. Penguins who try to fly and don't end up so depressed that they sometimes leave the safety of their packs and starve themselves to death. Cuteness is not a reason to live. Though some would argue with me about that, but just because it's cute doesn't mean it's useful. That goes for all animals, but i'm just focusing on penguins right now.

I don't know when this blatant passion of hatred developed but I know it's because every time I try to find some reason as to why they're relevant, I only find facts that make me hate them even more. What irritates me the most is that many people find it funny when they figure out my loathing of these arctic feathered "friends". My own significant other stares daggers at me every time I start down this path of ranting and raving about penguins and their many useless ways.

Yes, Yes, I know already. I’ve heard every person who’s ever heard me say “I hate penguins” come back with “But why!? They’re so cute! They’re wearing little tuxedos! Their babies are fluffy!” Yes, I’ve heard almost every reason a person can present as viable reason as to why a penguin is indeed “cute.” BUT. THEY. ARE. NOT.

Instead of me ranting the entire time as to why I personally do not like penguins. Why don’t I give you some examples to back up my blatant dislike for them?

• Of course you probably already knew this one, but what’s the point of a bird that cannot fly if it doesn’t have any other redeeming attributes?
• They have feathers yet can NOT fly.
• There "feathers" are for "swimming"

• There are 17- 19 types of penguins and the only reason there are multiple species is because they live in different cold climates – they all do the same thing, eat fish, swim, reproduce.
• Each species has different "physical" attributes but it doesn't seem as though any physical change will change the overall use of penguins.

• Penguins take 3-8 years to reach reproduction age
• They only lay 1-2 eggs and half the time only one child survives
• Seagulls and other large birds often steal the eggs
• If they have two children they only feed one of them in order to ensure one survives

• Just to name a few predators that DO prey on penguins
  • Land predators
    • Caracara – Leopard – Weka – Rats – Owls – Seagulls – Wild Cats – Ferret – Tasmanian Devils - Snakes – Eagles – Crabs - Foxes
  • Sea predators
    • Sea lion – Killer whale – Polar Bear – Some Sharks – Walrus – Leopard Seal – Dolphins

• If penguins get depressed or lonely enough they’ll walk away from their pack and die of starvation.
• Just because they were lonely.

I find myself lacking love towards the flightless birds of the arctic due to their irrelevance and that they're really only good as a source of food for the other predators who live in the same area. Though I will admit that the babies are "fluffy" and maybe considered "adorable" but it doesn't prove them environmentally relevant in any way. They may have some underlying use, but i'm not seeing it.

Am I being too bias towards these birds of the frozen world?