The Politically Incorrect Guide to Making Money on HubPages

The Politically Incorrect Guide to Making Money on HubPages

Herein we peel back the layers of political correctness to expose the brass tacks of turning a profit on HubPages.

Children under 14 may want to look away now. We are going to Keep It Real.

Serious Writers who value their craft should find something else to do. If you agonize over every word, if you double-check your verb tenses, if you know what a gerund is, please surf away now. Point your browser at SeriousWriters.com; do not continue reading here.

Only 3 Things Matter

According to The Politically Incorrect Guide to Making Money on HubPages, only three issues have any significance whatsoever.

I'm going to tell you what the three issues are, rather than forcing you to read this entire hub to dig for them. If you want details, please read on. Otherwise, go forth and apply the knowledge you have gained.

1. Get your hub indexed by Google

2. Pick appropriate keywords

3. Get people to click on the ads that appear on your hub.

Note: nowhere in this agonizingly simple list is any mention of writing good. Serious Writers, this is your last chance to bail out. You've been warned.

1. Get your hub indexed by Google

Google provides the majority of search results around the world. If your hub is ignored by Google, you've shot yourself in the digital foot.

Indexing is the process wherein Google computers read your hub, analyzes it, and adds it to their database of web pages. If your hub isn't indexed, Google will never include it in any search results.

Google indexing should take place automagically shortly after you publish a hub. Google knows about HubPages already. You don't have to do anything. However, some hubs may take weeks to get indexed and some worthy compositions may never be indexed. It's a mystery as to how Google separates the wheat from the chaff. Sometimes hubs get indexed, then de-indexed, then indexed again...


Watch out for the insipid NOINDEX tag imposed by HubPages if they don't like your composition.

2. Pick appropriate keywords

We all know of the Google AdWords Keyword Tool: https://adwords.google.com/select/KeywordToolExternal. If you can't decipher it, go watch TV instead of writing any more hubs. Your time you are wasting.

Learn the tool, live the tool, be the tool.

Well, HubPages won't let you pick keywords any more, so scratch this rule on HubPages.

3. Get people to click on the ads that appear on your hub.

After mastering steps 1 and 2, light a candle to Step 3. Google and HubPages prohibit you from actually encouraging your reader to click on your ads. In the words of Sheriff Buford T. Justice, "You can think about it, but don't do it." Sheriff Justice went on to explain how Google will shut down your AdSense account quicker than Valerie Bertinelli at a free doughnut bar, but only the Director's Cut of Smokey and the Bandit II included that scene.

You get paid when an ad gets clicked.

Tolstoy could publish a War and Peace hub and still go broke if no one clicked on his ads.

To some extent you're at the mercy of Google; they decide what ads your hubs will host. You can filter out an advertiser now and then by configuring your AdSense account properly. Some Hubbers feel a slight animosity toward Scientology ads while other hubbers are happy to have ads for christian colleges on their atheist hubs.

Write whatever you want

We know it's politically incorrect, but you can write whatever you want. Use bad grammar. Incomplete sentences. Apply abstruse pop culture references that would only be funny to shoe cobblers in Malta on the Fourth of July.

Pretty writing won't make you money. Google can't detect pretty writing.

Only The Three Rules will make you money.

Don't Ignore Any of the Rules

Don't neglect any of the Three Rules. You may find yourself with the inherent ability to dominate Rule 1. You may find yourself manipulating Rule 2 like a Ninja Keyword Master. You may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile, but David Byrne never made any money on HubPages. Neglect rule 3 at your peril.

Good Writers are People Too

We need accomplished writers to make our money-grubbing hubs look good. The symbiotic relationship between junior Hemmingways and AdSense trollops is well documented. Google probably like us all better when some of us use big words and literary references. However, a hub about the Top 10 Gas Grills for 2011 will probably monetize more effectively than 1000 words on institutional racism in 17th century France.

I make money on HubPages and I don't care who knows

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Comments 90 comments

lifelovemystery profile image

lifelovemystery 4 years ago from Houston, TX

Thanks for the tips and the humour!


SEXYLADYDEE profile image

SEXYLADYDEE 4 years ago from Upstate NY

No I am not discouraged I just feel better informed. Thanks for taking the time to put it out there. What we do with it is up to us.

D


Lesleysherwood 5 years ago

Another brilliant hub with loads of good advice. I am always checking my hubs on the page ranking site. I have put a link to this hub from my blog. Thank you I was just leaving and I saw 'another 69 comments'. Wow, I am not alone in liking your hub account.


callisto123 profile image

callisto123 5 years ago

"Google knows about HubPages already. You don't have to do anything..."

Since pages are index automatically, writers have no control over step 1.

"...prohibit you from actually encouraging your reader to click on your ads..."

"...you're at the mercy of Google; they decide what ads your hubs will host..."

You can't ask readers to click ads, and you can't specify which ads will appear, so the writer has no control over getting readers to click ads, step 3.

So yes, they are out of the writers control, and my comment still stands true.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 5 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@callisto123: They aren't and so they do.


callisto123 profile image

callisto123 5 years ago

Steps 1 and 3 are completely out of the writers control, so I don't really think they have a place in a guide like this, do they?


Charles James profile image

Charles James 6 years ago from Yorkshire, UK

LeonJane said

"I hold a hope that one day creative writing will prevail over product review".

There is every chance that a piece of literature that reflects the human condition will be read in 50 years time, when reviews of the toasters available in 2010 are not read. But the review of toasters will earn more!


Research Analyst profile image

Research Analyst 6 years ago

"Find a hungry crowd and feed them", good advice.


msms profile image

msms 6 years ago

"Learn the tool, live the tool, be the tool." Good one ... to be a tool Yes to earn here you need to be more of a tool than writer. Great Hub Dear, I loved it.


Barbara Kay profile image

Barbara Kay 6 years ago from USA

This hub kept me interested due to your writing skills. Google's ups and downs can become a mystery at times though.


lorlie6 profile image

lorlie6 6 years ago from Bishop, Ca

I AM a tool, so what's next?


tonymac04 profile image

tonymac04 6 years ago from South Africa

Nice one! Pity about your Googler rating, though. Thanks for the tips.

Love and peace

Tony


nicomp profile image

nicomp 6 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

FYI: This hub is not in the Google index today. I don't know why. Tomorrow it may be back. It may never come back.

Recently this hub was in the top 10 for several keywords. I checked it just now; today there are none. It's a puzzlement.


mulberry1 profile image

mulberry1 6 years ago

All so true. You can write great stuff but if you don't also follow the rules you mentioned, it will be a long and unprofitable road.


Dale Nelson profile image

Dale Nelson 6 years ago from South Africa

"automagically"

thats brilliank


nicomp profile image

nicomp 6 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@excribo: yep!


excribo profile image

excribo 6 years ago from Philippines

Very true indeed! Although a bit of good writing may help too.


Springboard profile image

Springboard 6 years ago from Wisconsin

Can't there be a balance between writing well and earning well? Hmm. Now I'm at a crossroads.


Cathleena profile image

Cathleena 6 years ago from USA

Your hub is humorous and fun. I'm following you now and enjoying your hubs! You have an entertaining written voice. :o)


wsp2469 profile image

wsp2469 6 years ago from Alta Loma, Ca

There's a lot of truth in what you say, for sure.


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