What I've Leared From Watching Commercials

  1. Married women are the only people who do housework and they really enjoy it!
  2. Erectile dysfunction is extremely common, especially in men between the ages of 30 and 55.
  3. A product that cures a migrane is worth the risk of getting cancer.
  4. Likewise, long think lashes are very important. More important than eyesight.
  5. Women go to clubs, sit around and talk about birth control pills.
  6. Only 20 year old models with big boobs go to the beach. They all wear high heels with their bikinis and love guys who drink beer!
  7. A certain male cologne and bodywash will make women do unspeakable things when a man wears it.
  8. William Shatner will endorse ANYTHING.
  9. Cute little reptiles with British accents work for car insurance companies. Meanwhile, elves bake cookies in their tree houses.
  10. Eating at Subway everyday will make you lose weight.
  11. Anti-wrinkle cream will make you look like the 25 years old model who is endorsing it.
  12. My insurance agent will appear out of nowhere if I beckon. So will the hot guy down the street.
  13. The only guys who drink beer are young and athletic.
  14. Women get super excited when talking about their periods.
  15. Your bank really, really cares about you. Really!
  16. My cell phone is dated after only six months and it's CRUCIAL that I get a new one now.
  17. Seniors make up only 5% of the population. 95% of the world is young, thin and attractive.
  18. Choosy moms still choose Jiff.
  19. High fructose syrup is not harmful even though it's banned in Europe. Silly Europeans, what do they know?
  20. Getting married? That ring better be from Jared's!!

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Comments 8 comments

AngelTrader profile image

AngelTrader 5 years ago from New Zealand

Thank God I don't have a tv! Very amusing observations of a very cynical industry.

Your first point always made me laugh, it was like the women were high on the poisonous vapors coming off the 'safe' products...I've never met a woman yet who exhibits that kind of manic satisfaction from cleaning and if I did, I'd be running!!

amymarie_5 profile image

amymarie_5 5 years ago from Chicago IL Author

Hi Angeltrader!

Glad you got a kick outa this. Must be true about those vapors! Lol. Your better off without a tv I think.I really should get rid of mine. With all the junk on tv, I can feel my iq dropping sometimes! Thanks for stopping by!

tlmcgaa70 profile image

tlmcgaa70 5 years ago from south dakota, usa

I agree with AT...so glad not to have a t.v. ...way to much junk and not a whole lot of decent shows on that make it worth having around these days. if i want to watch something i use the computer, then i pick what i want to watch and nothing more, or added to it. but i did enjoy your insights, they were funny.

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thechronicler 5 years ago

Great list--so funny and so true! We've been seriously considering dumping the cable TV at casa de chronicler. My tolerance for this idiotic advertising is close to nil; thank goodness for the Roku box + Netflix!

amymarie_5 profile image

amymarie_5 5 years ago from Chicago IL Author

Tlmcgaa, thank you for reading! I'm glad you liked this.

Chronicler, agreed! I dropped cable and got netflix instead. Best thing I ever did. Thanks for dropping by!

Majadez profile image

Majadez 5 years ago from Johannesburg, South Africa

Haha! I laughed through this entire list. I have a tv that I've switched on about twice in the past three months so I'm not a fan. I prefer to choose what to watch and when I want to watch it - the internet is indeed very useful! I did, however, grow up watching tv and from what I do see nowadays, things haven't changed much...

Alastar Packer profile image

Alastar Packer 5 years ago from North Carolina

Aha! These are great Amymarie! Thats one lizard I'd like to squash with a foot if you know what I mean. Captain Quirk has fallen so low these days; and high fructose corn syrup is good for us, the ingredient gift that keeps on giving. Loved this, What a fun read.~:)

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juliafranceschini 5 years ago

This is so funny and true. I'd like to add that single men in commercials are hot, sexy, and drive fast cars. But once they get married they become big idiots and don't know how to wash the deck or use a blender without causing a mess. Voted up and funny.

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