Trashy dancer: The joys of being an innkeeper

The Mid-America Truck Show was coming to town. I started getting a lot of calls and knew I would be filled to capacity. I was feeling happy thinking about the fact that I would probably be able to meet my expenses this month, when the phone rang. It was the secretary of one of the large trucking companies in Chicago calling to book a room for herself. Great, that does it. I'm full! The show was less than week a way but I have plenty of time to shop for the extra food I need to feed 9 truckers and a secretary.

The night before the show, people started checking in around 4:00 pm. I had a couple of repeats from last year and four new guys from New Jersey. "Sorry, fellas, you can't smoke those stogies in here." My Inn is smoke free, but I have a deck and beautiful garden out back. The weather was still a little chilly, but I figured the March winds wouldn't deter these guys from further blackening their lungs with their ever lovin' havana cigars. There was extra beer in the dining room frig, so I was sure they'll make good use of that too.

By 7:00 pm, everyone had checked in except Kelly, the secretary. I had booked her into Roxanne's Room, a beautiful bright and sunny, yellow room overlooking the garden. With its white Battenberg lace curtains and dust ruffles, I was sure Kelly would love it. She finally arrived at 10:00 pm, just before my bedtime. I brought her upstairs and showed her her room. As I had anticipated, she loved it. About 20 minutes after I'd given her a key and taken her to her room, I heard the front door shut. I dashed to the front window, in time to see a car speed off with Kelly inside. Must be a planning meeting or something.

Exhausted, I fell asleep immediately and didn't wake 'til the alarm went off at 6:00 am. Ashley was already in the kitchen starting breakfast. After breakfast, Ash and I went up to clean the rooms. Kelly's towels were on the floor in the bathroom and the white washcloths were completely covered in makeup: foundation, lipstick and lots of black eye shadow. I knew it wouldn't all come out and so I set a jar of cotton balls and makeup remover on the sink, hoping she'd use that instead of the washcloths. The door to the closet was open and I couldn't help but notice the sexy little numbers inside she called clothes. I was wondering why a secretary would be dressed like that at at trade show.

Next day, the washcloths were again covered in makeup, and we discovered whisky bottles under the bed, as well as some male underwear between the sheets. This time, I left her a note telling her not to use the washcloths for makeup, and making a request that she not bring her boyfriend and alcohol up to her room. I would have just told her to leave, but she hadn't paid the bill and I wanted to see her in person. I knew she wouldn't be home 'til late, so I figured I'd talk to her in the morning

Morning came and Kelly did not come down to breakfast. I went up to her room, and opened the door to discover that she was gone, two days early; skipped out in the middle of the night. The room had been emptied of all her belongings. I was concerned about the bill. She had given me her grandmother's credit card, but told me not to run it through; that she would pay me in cash when she checked out. I talked to the truckers after she left and found out that she was an exotic dancer and there to entertain the truckers. I have no idea how many of them she might have entertained in my guestroom, but I certainly know where she was going to come up with the cash to pay the bill, none of which I ever saw. But grandma's credit card went through, so I was happy.