An Interview with Fen Lander, Author of the Humanoid Landscape

Fen Lander is known for his unique and interesting way of viewing the world. He has made discoveries that none of us has foreseen, and in his book The Humanoid Landscape, he talks about the ancient past of England and how his findings relate to our present day. Fen has given public speeches in Whitstable on the topic of his book and the Kentish Zodiac and continues his work to bring his accumulated knowledge to the reader.

You can get the Humanoid Landscape here.

Fen was kind enough to answer my interview questions.

Me: What was the first piece you ever wrote?

Fen: Actually I entered a competition when aged about 11, for Magpie, a childrens programme in England in the 1970’s. It was a story about a boy on a ship that got caught-up in a terrible storm at sea. I don’t remember if the ship sank or survived. I was one of a hundred runners-up and received a badge with the number 8 in gold, and an ice-cream on it too and the slogan ‘eight is a wish.’ I was really proud of that badge and wore it with pride for a couple of years. I wish I still had that badge.

Me: What room is your favourite to write in?

Fen: I’ve done my best writing when I was living in a garden-shed at the bottom of a friends garden. I lived there for 10 years or so because I couldn’t afford to live anywhere else. Now I like to be anywhere quiet with little chance of being disturbed - usually my bedroom sitting on my bed.

Me: What is your favourite thing you've written?

Fen: Without a doubt it’s The Humanoid Landscape. I truly believe that long-after I’m dead and buried I’ll be remembered for that book. To quote Hawkwind (Henry Wadsworth Longfellow) "Lives of great men, all remind us, we may make our lives sublime, and departing, leave behind us, footprints in the sands of time." Humanoid Landscape represents my own personal foot-prints in the sands of time, as it were - for nothing like it has ever been written before, it’s unique in every sense. I’m proud of it.

Me: What would you do if you didn't write?

Fen: Start writing or go mad.

Me: What is the most demeaning thing said about you as a writer?

Fen: I think I’m the one responsible for that. It is lazy, unfocussed, imbecilic. I really meant it too.

Me: How do you react to bad comments on your writing?

Fen: To be perfectly honest I haven’t had any! I must actually be a genius.

Me: Are there any occupational hazards to being a writer?

Fen: Millions of them, chief among them is penury.

Me: What are the most important attributes to remaining sane as a writer?

Fen: Never take yourself too seriously. Do Yoga, Meditate.

Me: Who would play you in a film of your life?

Fen: Norman Wisdom

Me: Do you live in an ivory tower?

Fen: I’m moving in next month with that bird with long hair, Rapunzel.

Me: Do you laugh at your own jokes?

Fen: I just laughed at the Ivory Tower answer I gave.

Me: Do you admire your own work?

Fen: Utterly YES. If I thought it was rubbish I wouldn’t bother with writing.

Me: Are you jealous of other writers?

Fen: Err, a little. I am quite jealous of my friend the author Chris Stone - now HIS writing is admirable.

Me: What makes you cry?

Fen: Poverty. War. Injustice.

Me: Do you have anything specific that you want to say to your readers?

Fen: The world is a stranger and more magikal place than most can easily see. From my earliest childhood I have been able to see ‘things’ and have ideas that were ‘outside-the-box’ and not what others would call ‘normal.’ This ability has grown more refined over the decades and I’ve learned to show others what I see. My tarot card is 2 Cups which has the occult meaning ‘the initiate who can see higher realities and successfully communicate this to others.’ And that’s who I am, and that’s what The Humanoid Landscape IS - my description in words and pictures of the ‘hidden’ reality - the nous or spirit - that shines through the material elements of the earth. The English and Welsh live within a bewinged, hermaphrodite, betailed entity, a being - The National Angel! I can see it and I’ve drawn a book full of pictures that plainly show it.

Me: If you had only six months left to live, what would you do with the time?

Fen: Not very much. Laze about and drink cider.

Me: What kind of people do you dislike?

Fen: Petty-minded, pedantic types drive me round the twist.

Me: What's the most important part of the sandwich?

Fen: For me the bread is most important - I have Gluten Intolerance so the filling is hardly important to me.