Why Hubbers Hub: Dark Secrets Revealed !

INTRODUCTION

Why do Hubbers Hub? Most of us earn little or nothing from our hours of tapping out comments, asking and answering questions, thinking about, researching, and finally writing Hubs. Since I haven’t noticed any guns to my head lately, I’m forced to acknowledge that I—and many others—choose to spend this inordinate amount of time Hubbing, when we could be making love, planting roses, playing with the kids/grandkids, or walking in the crisp Fall air. Then there’s what my wife affectionately calls the Spousal Flack Utterance Tactic (affectionately called SFUT, and always spat out (with lots of spray) simultaneous with her saying the word “Hub”. So it comes out "Hub-SFUT", with a vigorous spasmodic forward and downward jerk of her head. SFUT, I’m pleased to say, comes into play only rarely and only when we’ve run out of coffee and wine.

Before getting into the juicy bits about why Hubbers Hub, let us define the activity in appropriately generic (i.e. vague & meaningless) terms: a Hub is a brief form of one-dimensional written electronic communication on any topic imaginable, authored by one person and literally available to everyone in the world with access to the Internet . The author can be completely anonymous, if he/she wishes, and manufacture a fictional location, if he/she wishes., or no location at all. One can make money from Hubs—if advertisers really like your stuff—but no one is going to pay off the mortgage, take a trip around the world, or buy a loaded Lexus on their Hub earnings.

So we begin our list of reasons for Why Hubberss Hub by eliminating Monetary Gain. Herewith the never-before-revealed Dark Secrets that motivate Hubbers to Hub:

1. ABSOLUTE ANONYMITY

Who is that masked man? A Hubber can post a picture of the Mona Lisa as a young dog, name themselves Rampant Poofle or Fiddlehead Blob or Rifle Glack, create a Profile that is a hodgepodge of nuclear scientist and worm farm aficionado crossed with poodle groomer, and start posting Hubs about Managing Your Peonies. No one need know your real identity, if you want to keep it secret. For some Hubbers, this cloak of personal secrecy frees them from stress, eradicates performance anxiety (very enticing for certain males), and stimulates creativity. At the end of the day (hey! no one can chastise you for clichés!), the Real You is protected from attack, ‘cause the Real You doesn’t exist, if you don’t want it to!

2. SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE ADDICTION

Hubbers can become compulsive, irresponsible internet junkies who could no more put in a day—in extreme cases, an hour—without checking their Hub-mail, than they could give up breathing or eating. “I’m just checking my e-mail, Sweetheart,” they declare, their voices taking on the mantra-like drone of a remote-controlled robot. Three hours later, they emerge from their computer lairs, eyes puffy but jubilant with successful Hubbing.

Now, we need to examine this behaviour more closely. Because this behaviour is not

  • fed to the ponies or the blackjack table, rather than the family
  • shot in the arm
  • snorted up the nose, or
  • guzzled down the throat

—it’s okay! “I don’t see that much of George anymore,” explains the beleaguered wife, “he spends a lot of time on the internet.” That same wife hasn’t had a conversation with George in a year, has to yell at him to get the simplest household repair done, and is spending altogether too much time with a neighbour who is eagerly seeing to certain of her other needs. But all of this is okay—George is just checking his e-mail, right?

3. ONE-DIMENSIONAL BEING

Hubbers are delusional human entities. In reality we are all nothing more than words on a screen. As time passes and posts accumulate rapidly, we develop affection and respect for this or that Hubber—perhaps even contempt for another—and because each one-dimensional entity identifies itself with a “name”, we delude ourselves that we “know a person” called “X”. But we do not. We know only the words that the full-bodied person behind the words has chosen to reveal. "But," you counter, "I’ve never met the author of my favourite murder mysteries either, so what’s the difference?" The difference is that the author has an identity and an address. You could go meet him/her, have a coffee with them, get to know them, or you could meet them publicly at a book-signing. True—but Hubbers rarely meet to have that cup of coffee. You can’t have coffee with words.

4. PAINLESS, FREE “PUBLISHING”

For an unknown or little-known writer, publishing an article, a poem, a book, the conventional way is an arduous process. You have to study publishing guidelines, submit manuscripts, deal with rejections, re-submit, re-submit, re-submit, and probably work through an Agent— IF you can find one to take you on. Arduous. But with HubPages, you fill the capsules with your writing and when you’re done, hit the “PUBLISH” button at the top of the screen and: instantly, millions of people have access to your work. Egad! What uncensored POWER is at your fingertips! “Hey guys! At noon today I was a carpenter, but now I’m a published author!” It’s that easy. Now, unfortunately, if you’re a crappy writer with nothing to say anyway, and the little you DO say is the product of fraudulent research and shoddy reasoning, you will get found out and the self-regulating Hub community will soon get rid of you. But for that wonderful moment, you can live the delusion that millions (potentially) were actually reading your drivel.

5. A SORT-OF CONCLUSION

Now, like most bits of light humour, this little journey is based on some hard facts. I’ll take the easy way out and let you, my discriminating fellow-Hubbers, draw on your own Hubbing experience to sort out the foundation facts from the fanciful exaggerations. The vast majority of Hubs are written by responsible people (hmm—amend that to word-makers) who do careful research and write interesting pieces that stimulate us to continue as contributing Hubbers. It’s fun. It’s informative. It’s a healthy ego-builder. But it is ALSO an addictive, potentially selfish pastime that can challenges relationships and probably should be confined to retirees, the independently wealthy, and cabin-dwellers in isolated locations. But we all know that won’t wash—so carry on Hubbers! If it’s this much damn fun, it can only be good.

But do keep a close eye on virile neighbours that seem to be hanging around your place a lot. . . .

Comments 32 comments

diogenes 4 years ago

You know, Clark, I joned facebook some time ago but I soon closed the page down; same for Twatter, or twitter, (twits for twats). I could leave Hubpages with the same sense of no regrets (if one can sense a negative). I agree with most of what you say here, but you can extrapolate much of these observations to all human transactions...we give in order to recieve as our tattered egos flap in the blast of everyone else doing the same. Or something like that. In the end, there's only the void and we're scrambling to avoid the inevitable.

Britain brings out the worst in me!

regards Bob


moonfroth profile image

moonfroth 4 years ago from Rural BC (Canada) & N of Puerto Vallarta (Mexico) Author

Robert, Robert, ROBERT! -- Since, in the end, "there's only the Void," (as you said) it then behooves us to enjoy what we have NOW--not to beat back the dark (which we canNOT do), but to revel in the light (which we CAN do. Now, you chose the name "Diogenes", so you are a Seeker, a believer in the efficacy of Process, and you must get your head and heart back into that mode. It always has been, up until now. The fact that my cheery little bit of fluff depressed you, should sound some warning bells, my good friend.


cynthtggt profile image

cynthtggt 4 years ago from New York, NY

Actually, moonfroth, there are success stories. One hubber announced his 2.5 millionth follower, and the guy makes a living off these pages. His secret? He uses smart key words for easy searches, and he writes about the things people are thinking about. Me? Well, you know why I do it. When I go before my executioners, I have the evidence of what I believe on these pages BEFORE they manufacture their lies. Think about it: If you are falsely accused and never given a chance to tell your story, that you publish the facts about yourself as you are and you write and convey a premise that is undeniable, and you write what cannot be denied, how can you be labeled? There is a method used upon the falsely accused and it is this: Accuse the one you wish to convict of doing that which you are doing to them. Tactic familiar? Or, as in my case, when during the throes of a burst appendix I was told that it was all in my head, what did I do? I published the x-ray on Hubpages that shows undeniably I had a burst appendix. Any doctor in my country would be embarassed to say it was not so. Does this empower? You bet. Does it enable one to feel they are understood? Undeniably so. Finally, I don't know about your surroundings, but here in the U.S. people are not very talkative these days, except on the Internet, which is sad. Many people - over a thousand - are members of a group that enables them to tell their medical stories. The horror of horrors no one is talking about. But none but a political bent around it, which I believe they should. Afterall, even the mafia can only take on one individual or three in medicine while political forces can remake a country and leave millions indigent unnecessarily, and because medical problems are taboo they are the perfect victims because they remain silent. What does the Internet allow? It allows them to break out of their prison and express themselves to whomever will listen in the hope of finding another shared experience. Maybe those on Hubpages are not enthralled by my hubs, but those in the forum I describe like them a lot. Very funny and well written hub though that offers an insight into why you hub.


Weekend Reader profile image

Weekend Reader 4 years ago

I would settle for a stripped-down Lexus, y'know.

Every body has a story, if I may steal a cliche, and Hubpages gives all of us the opportunity to tell it. As long as you use reasonably grammatical English and don't mind having any sex and violence moderated out.


moonfroth profile image

moonfroth 4 years ago from Rural BC (Canada) & N of Puerto Vallarta (Mexico) Author

Cynthia -- I wrote you a detailed reply, but when I tried to post it, LinkedIn grabbed it off, never to be returned. Here's a synopsis. You and I have exchanged literally thousands of words, I think, over the months of our cyber acquaintance. It was certainly my impression that we had developed a base of respect and mutual regard, so I was taken aback at your judgment that I regard the internet only as an opportunity to be funny and to showcase my ability as a writer (see your last sentence). Were that true, I would be one very shallow person.

But it is NOT true, nor is your interpretation of this Hub. The Hub is a whimsical look at the one-dimension nature of internet communication. It focuses on the individual Hubber NOT on the value of HubPages as an internet resource.. HP is, of course, an invaluable platform for the disenfranchised and others who have been silenced by powerful forces. I have made this case many times in other Hubs; I have made this case in discussion with you. Please re-read the Hub.

Weekend Reader -- thanks so much for dropping by. Hope to see you again. If you have a few minutes, you might find my comment to Cynthia (just above) of interest to you re: this Hub. Thanks again.


moonfroth profile image

moonfroth 4 years ago from Rural BC (Canada) & N of Puerto Vallarta (Mexico) Author

Cynthia -- I wrote you a detailed reply, but when I tried to post it, LinkedIn grabbed it off, never to be returned. Here's a synopsis. You and I have exchanged literally thousands of words, I think, over the months of our cyber acquaintance. It was certainly my impression that we had developed a base of respect and mutual regard, so I was taken aback at your judgment that I regard the internet only as an opportunity to be funny and to showcase my ability as a writer (see your last sentence). Were that true, I would be one very shallow person.

But it is NOT true, nor is your interpretation of this Hub. The Hub is a whimsical look at the one-dimension nature of internet communication. It focuses on the individual Hubber NOT on the value of HubPages as an internet resource.. HP is, of course, an invaluable platform for the disenfranchised and others who have been silenced by powerful forces. I have made this case many times in other Hubs; I have made this case in discussion with you. Please re-read the Hub.

Weekend Reader -- thanks so much for dropping by. Hope to see you again. If you have a few minutes, you might find my comment to Cynthia (just above) re: this Hub. Thanks again.


shiningirisheyes profile image

shiningirisheyes 4 years ago from Upstate, New York

Although I have successfully avoided Facebook as well as many other social networks Hub Pages has grabbed my attention and made me addicted. Like sitting down to a good book I find my self logging on and reading for hours, which go by like minutes.

Although I enjoy the writing aspect, my favorite is the reading I can immerse myself in at any time of the day or night. - Like this humorous and truthful hub.


cynthtggt profile image

cynthtggt 4 years ago from New York, NY

Oh, moonfroth, please re-read my comment. I know you were being whimisical, but I writing in response to the "delusional human entities" who don't meet for coffee. I do! Really, I do meet for coffee with not only other hubbers but those interested in my patient advocacy!! Please feel free to delete my comment. Did not mean to take the humor away. Take care.


moonfroth profile image

moonfroth 4 years ago from Rural BC (Canada) & N of Puerto Vallarta (Mexico) Author

Delete one of YOUR comments? I'm sure I'd be struck down from above! Thanks for the clarification though -- I didn't know quite what to make of it. Ad I'm heartened to hear you actually MEET some Hubbers. Of course, you do live in a fairly large town. Our closest neighbours are a small pack of wolves across the lake and the resident cougar that prowls the east end of our property. None of them hardly ever goes for coffee--and their table manners are absolutely atrocious when they do. Cheers. . . .Clark

Irish -- always a pleasure to see the glint in your eyes. If you like my twisted sense of humour, check out my website for a couple more prose stories that many readers seem to think are a bit f fun.


Hyphenbird profile image

Hyphenbird 4 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

Hello Dear Moon. Now I know you are not including my words of genius in the scathing remarks concerning Hubs. Why one day visitors from another galaxy will fain in awe when they unearth my scribblings from the massive Hub pile left when the last writer offs himself because the final pencil nub wore out.

Do I ever actually meet a physical Hubber? No but rumors exist that one lives in the woods not too far away. He wears a shaggy coat made from bear fur and some folks call him Sasquatch.

Thank you for a most enjoyable and humorous read today. I needed something lighthearted.


moonfroth profile image

moonfroth 4 years ago from Rural BC (Canada) & N of Puerto Vallarta (Mexico) Author

Hyph -- glad to have been of some small comic relief, and I'm sure the cyber-archaeologists of the future will fall on your words for the gems they are. . . .


Deborah Brooks profile image

Deborah Brooks 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

Well I am addicted I have to admit that.. I have been on the hub for 11 months and I love it.. It has taught me so much.. I have stay true to it and worked hard.. failed a few times and I hope I have did a little good. but yes it is fun .. but I do not know how people with jobs can constantly work at hub.. I am glad I found you and your writings. many blessings

Debbie


AudreyHowitt profile image

AudreyHowitt 3 years ago from California

Well--I am not sure where I fall out here--my pennies earned are just that--but I do enjoy the community!!


moonfroth profile image

moonfroth 3 years ago from Rural BC (Canada) & N of Puerto Vallarta (Mexico) Author

Audrey --

I agree. The community is the big draw. Thanks for commenting.


savvydating profile image

savvydating 3 years ago

A bit of tongue and cheek, hmmm? I loved this charming, light satire of a hub you've written. Yes! Now that I am semi-retired, I have ample time to doodle around on Hubpages. It is quite fun. I might even be a secret hub addict. But seriously, I enjoy questioning everything I hear, and thus having reason to research deeper and share my findings, or not! Thanks a lot for seeing right through me! :)


moonfroth profile image

moonfroth 3 years ago from Rural BC (Canada) & N of Puerto Vallarta (Mexico) Author

Savvy --i think there's a little too much substance to you for anyone to "see right through you"! Thanks for the visit.


phdast7 profile image

phdast7 3 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

Good evening, well early morning, moonfroth - I really enjoyed this Hub. Some truth, some exaggeration, lots of humor, and as someone else said, some whimsy. Utterly delightful.

For me HP is part unanticipated addiction, (a friend of mine talked me into joining and WE DO MEET once or twice a month for breakfast and coffee), in part an experiment with genres of writing that differ from my workday academic writing, in part an opportunity to read some really good work, and in part I am drawn by the community of people who although they may only know each other in part, they still support and care for each other.

Do I wish I had more time, yes, but one day I will be able to retire. As addictions go, I think this is the best one for me. :) I really enjoyed your piece. Looking forward to reading more. Sharing. Theresa


moonfroth profile image

moonfroth 3 years ago from Rural BC (Canada) & N of Puerto Vallarta (Mexico) Author

PHD--hello again! strangers before, fast becoming old buddies in this strange one-dimensional cyberworld! A usual Academic Writer? Ah yes, I remember it well!--"Professor Vonblitzenhausenbautum's seminal article on "The Vibrating Frequency of the Left Quadra-Segmented Antenna of the Female Praying Mantis" [Journal of Obscure Insects, IV, iii, 17 -22 (2010)], though somewhat obfuscated generally by a failure to trenchantly consider Mason et al and Wilson's 2nd treatise (the 1st has never been found), does manage, with tedious and, some would argue, unnecessary dedication to superfluous detail, to make the point that......'. I jest a bit, but I can imagine that Hub style is a welcome relief from your usual fare.

Your site is on my list for tomorrow.

segmented Antenna


phdast7 profile image

phdast7 3 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

You have done an admirable (and scary!) imitation of the typical faculty member in our School of Math and Science. As a historian in the School of Arts and Humanities I do get to write in more understandable and human prose, but you are not far off. lol Very. very clever. :)

I have posted a little bit of my academic work on here, in shortened form of course. Research papers presented at history conferences have to be between 10 and 15 pages long, so I have taken several of those and divided them into three or four short essays each.

I don't know that even the shortened version would have found an audience except that I write about the Nazis, the camps, the Holocaust, which even after 65+ years remain of interest to people.

Must turn computer off for the night. Must try to control addiction. :)


jainismus profile image

jainismus 3 years ago from Pune, India

moonfroth, you are absolutely right..


moonfroth 3 years ago

Jainismus -- Thank you, Sir! Rarely in this life is any one of us "absolutely" right! Glad you enjoyed the Hub.


moronkee profile image

moronkee 3 years ago

I enjoyed your hub. Very interesting.


xstatic profile image

xstatic 3 years ago from Eugene, Oregon

Interesting, Clark, and true as well. The comments were fun to read as well. My wife works from home (about 4 to 6 hours per day as a corporate recruiter). Her computer is just across the room from mine, so the time I spend on HP is a sort of "togetherness." She is usually involved in the tedious task of reading engineers' resumes, while I trip lightly through hubland, chucking sometimes, snorting others.


Theater girl profile image

Theater girl 3 years ago from New Jersey

This was so fun and clever! Even though I am sort of new here....I can relate to alot of it! I make no money on hubpages, and I really don't care. Before this, my writing mostly saw the inside of a drawer and one friend's email from time to time. On that friend's advice, I started posting and the fun began! I enjoy everyone's kind comments and I am becoming a better writer by reading the work of others! Thanks for sharing this!


Scribenet profile image

Scribenet 3 years ago from Ontario, Canada

I agree with everything you say...lol! I for one 'fess up! I am sure there are many who put huge effort and get returns, but for the majority this has to be for fun! Come to think of it...it has to be for fun before we will put in much effort!

One has to look at the time spent here vs the money earned and the hourly rate is...? However, I think it is a great place to start and grow.

Ilike your "light-hearted" approach! :)


peoplepower73 profile image

peoplepower73 3 years ago from Placentia California

Hi, my name is peoplepower and I'm addicted to hub pages!

Moonfroth, an excellent piece of work. I'm going to have my wife read this. We both have Galaxy SII smart phones which makes our addictions even more accessible. My wife is addicted to playing scrabble with people around the world and sharing random photos on Instagram and now I can access my hub pages on my phone which is basically like having a bottomless bottle of port wine always available.

Damn this technology, we both need help. I love your hub, well done as a satirical piece, but also so true. Voting up, made my day funny, and sharing.


suzettenaples profile image

suzettenaples 3 years ago from Taos, NM

Hilarious! There are some hubbers who have actually met, but that is beside the point. I love this hub and your points are so valid. I am retired so I can spend as much time here as I want to and I'm not messing up anyone else's life. (except my own lol) Some writers here publish on other sites or have published novels or poetry anthologies and do have publicists. I am in the process of trying to get published in some magazines. Never ending delight. But, as you say, with the hit of the publish button we are all 'published authors!'


vandynegl profile image

vandynegl 3 years ago from Ohio Valley

Very well written and so true! I have a love for writing, but that is not what my "profession" is, so it is now a hobby and more or less, an addiction.....my kids are....somewhere.....


Freeway Flyer profile image

Freeway Flyer 3 years ago

You have gotten way more comments than I typically get in my hubs. And since I am a typical hubber, this fills me with a sense of jealousy and inadequacy. I must be doing something wrong. Please help me.

Good hub by the way. It says what we must all sometimes wonder about ourselves.


clark cook 3 years ago

MORONKEE, XSTATIC, THEATREGIRL, SCRIBENET, PEOPLEPOWER, SUZZTT --- My thanks to all of you for dropping by and for finding some merit in my bit of whimsy.

An interesting footnote from a publisher friend of mine: if you join an INVITATION- ONLY group and post your stuff there as "works in progress" and accept critiques and revisions from the group, my friend says that such a forum would be classed as a Workshop, so stuff you post there would not be regarded as "published". The group must be small, say, less than 20 members. Works on HP, then, would definitely be regarded as "published". You'll find a variety of "invitation-only" groups on LinkedIn, for example.

VANDY--Be brave! The transition from hobby to full-blown addiction requires monomanaic dedication. Don't worry about the kids--the last time I saw them they were buried in their I-Pods, happily playing on the freeway in rush-hour traffic.

FREEWAY (when you finish reading this, check on Vandy's kids near your exit 207, would you?) I don not know WHAT I'm doing "right". I've gone for months with nothing but cobwebs hanging from my Hubs. In the past ten days there's been a crazy flood of traffic. Dunno why.

How about posting a raspberry tart recipe with the title SEXUAL ECSTASY GUARANTEED. An interesting experiment, yes?


moonfroth profile image

moonfroth 3 years ago from Rural BC (Canada) & N of Puerto Vallarta (Mexico) Author

BTW Everybody--the "Clark Cook" in the post above--that's me, Moonfroth.


mercuryservices profile image

mercuryservices 3 years ago from Honolulu, Hawaii

Spousal FLACK! I love the word "flack" because in high school, there was this janitor who would shake his head and say "I'm not catching any flack for letting you guys [insert random rule bending activity]"

I started HubPages because I got the (perhaps moronic) idea that I might be able to rake in $1000 a month from hubs, if I could muster the fortitude to somehow get 1000 of them up there. The way things are going I'll be making only $200 a month once I get to the century mark. But, who knows... anyway, it's been fun so far, even though I have to occasionally duck flack and rip myself away to make sure that my girlfriend doesn't explode because I need to finish a hub, cmon just 15 more minutes, I mean 30, I mean 2 more hours...

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