Addicted to Sex

An addiction is a problem most today face, which comes to you in many different forms and can change your life dramatically if a true fix isn’t sought.  For many this addiction can be drugs, alcohol, cigarettes; or sex but I will mainly focus on the sex as this is a subject rarely discussed yet more and more couples are being caught up in the middle of the deceit a partner can bring to the relationship if nothing is done to change it. 

Yeah, most of us who have had sex know how good it can be if you ever came across the sort of lover that aims to please, and does so successfully.  That mind blowing, breath taking type of sex that has every inch of your body shaking and every hair standing up to attention in salute for such a great roll in the hay, and also keeps you speechless for minutes afterwards as you try to regain your composure; or wonder when you can go at it again.

Yes, that sort of love making is worth bragging about, but then the fire dies down, the passion fades and one of you is left behind wondering what happened.  Certain circumstances can steer you away from the closeness and desire you once had for your partner and that is sometimes when the problem begins.  You see the partner that experienced such great surges of pleasure is now desperately seeking it elsewhere.  You may not have expected it to happen, but it does, and then you find out your lover is not only addicted to sex, but cheating on you every chance he/she gets to get that thrill.

The lieing now begins, and the nights at home alone are becoming more and more frequent as the other goes out on their sexcapades, all the while you are home completely clueless; and worrying because they don’t answer the phone when you call or text them.  The last thing you want to do is think the worse, but these nights are becoming more troublesome, and you are trying your best to be understanding.  Problem is the clues are now evidently clear.

If not clear enough, you are at least catching a few of the signs but evidently overlooking them because you somehow want this relationship to work and still see yourself as committed, but let me at least make it clearer.  A sex addict can be easily detected if they exhibit any of the following signs:

  • Compulsive masturbation
  • Multiple affairs (if in relationship)
  • Unsafe sex
  • Phone or Computer Sex
  • Consistent use of porn
  • Prostitution or the use of prostitutes
  • Exhibitionism
  • Obsessive dating through personal ads
  • Sexual harassment at work or otherwise
  • Molestation or rape
  • Voyeurism

The term sex addiction is used to describe a person who has a distorted and obsessive sex drive.  They think about sex all the time and can’t wait for the next encounter where they can take such high-risks, and soon don’t even care about the consequences of their financial or relationship status.  All they desire is to get that next fix, but they can also seek help if need be.  They can make excuses in a heartbeat about the why’s and sometimes can even blame the partner for their need to go elsewhere, but it is totally their problem.  Only they can want to change, and no amount of arguing or pleading will ever change that.

If you are involved or know of someone who is involved with a sex addict help them seek help.  Sex addiction doesn’t necessary make a person a sex offender, but it does ruin one’s life just like any drug or alcohol addiction.  The person you are involved with suffers, and then there’s the risk of STD’s, which in itself should be highly regarded, especially if the one with the addiction has a spouse and children at home.  Treatment in this sort of behavior focuses on controlling the addiction and helps the individual live a healthier sex life. 

With treatment you can get counseling for family/marital issues.  Individual counseling and support groups with 12 week recovery programs just like AA/NA.  If any of the treatments above fail or you need that extras assistance they also have certain medication which they can prescribe for obsessive compulsive disorders and can sustain your compulsive nature, like Prozac and Anafranil.  Like I mentioned before this is a treatable behavior, may take some time, but help can be obtained if you truly desire it.    

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Comments 147 comments

silk_9090 6 years ago

This is a shame for a person to have to go through this kind of situation, especially when you love the person %100. You try to give them your all, but they still insist on hurting you over and over. I am currenlty going through this situation where as mines has all kinds of website such as "tagged" , OBC "online Booty call". I have to put keyloggers on all my PC and caught mines having different conversations with FBI agents that were married with kids, etc... Not to go to far, but this acticle is perfect of those like myself that are going through situation. and I really would like to Thank you author for this very nice acticle. Thank You once again. Silk_9090


HealthTip 6 years ago

Really fantastic hub, deff a one to bookmark !


cgcorey profile image

cgcorey 6 years ago from Pennsylvania

Great hub


AliciaPhillips 6 years ago

I know I am a sexaholic - but I like it darling x


jahiralam 6 years ago

love


Slave2No1 profile image

Slave2No1 6 years ago from Oneida, NY

This is a great Hub, but IMHO, what is missing is the back side of the coin. It is much more common to have a couple that while one is sexually 'normal', the other can be the total opposite of such 'addiction' and only be 'available' to please &/or appease their partner. Beyond that, there is the problem of both being reasonably 'normal', but one wants (or expects) certain 'pleasures' that the other may not and even consider them deviant &/or perverse. In either case, these situations tend to promote the broader-minded partner to seek those unfulfilled desires elsewhere. Any mismatch, sexual or otherwise, can drive a wedge between even a strong and very loving relationship. Resolving such differences, bedroom or not, may be a lost cause. Pairing a Carnivore with a Herbivore is a no-win situation. No matter how great the union, if he takes up hunting while she goes to an animal rights meeting, the marriage is doomed; since it's rare for any pair to really know each other completely when the initial commitment is made. Let's face facts: All marriages are a voyage of discovery and many times, what we discover.... can sometimes be a shock AND a prime reason for the union to dissolve. So it's not JUST one partner who wants more sex (than considered 'normal'), but it's more often one who wants a lot less to a point of rare or zero.


spiritactor profile image

spiritactor 6 years ago from Los Angeles

Sex addiction, in my philosophy, is a perceived need to feel Wanted. It becomes a self-validation, outside of yourself. It can actually try and validate itself as an act, attaching itself to a perception of love.

Why not simply practice Wanting Yourself, your pure Inner Self that is already filled and abundant with Joy-- and Love?

Sex with obsession is a misinformed expression of Inner Self (or "soul"). And it is derived from anticipation and expectation.

Next time a temporary and obsessive act of sex occurs, try experiencing the act purely in the present, moment-to-moment-to-moment, with no expectation; and make mental note of what perceptions may shift inside of you. It should shine some Light on what the true nature of the act is, perhaps altering your value of it.

Love is not exclusive to Sex.

Thank you for sharing-- and much Light to you!


one2recognize2 profile image

one2recognize2 6 years ago from New York Author

While this piece was written for someone going through the motions of having to deal with it, I am very pleased with the rating and responses received in all perspectives. Therefore, I do appreciate the responses from all and thank you wholeheartedly for taking the time to read this hub and voice your own opinions. To Alicia Phillips, I just hope you have sense enough to be safe while being a sexaholic, this was not intended to point fingers but to emphasize the dangers and the heart ache it brings to those who love and need sexaholics like yourself and hope its not just briefly. Thanks again everyone for the comments,and stay blessed.


keywc58 profile image

keywc58 6 years ago

Nice hub, you get down to details.


Indianboy 6 years ago

Very informative and clearly states what is sexual additiona dn how it affects the person.

Just to add up on to your hud.

This person can jeopardize the life of his spouse his own family and kids and others as well as his/her own life.


ForexCashBack profile image

ForexCashBack 6 years ago from Corvallis, Oregon

This right here "Compulsive masturbation" describes 95% of the human male population. My opinion is I think your terms for describing a sex addict are too board based. But otherwise, interesting hub!


G Miah profile image

G Miah 6 years ago from Muslim Nation

Sex addiction i think is a very serious matter, and it affect ones health and wealth which could lead to other life affecting consequences. I think you have written an excellent hub, and this subject is not talked about alot, and you have done well to bring it to the fore.


Viagra Man 6 years ago

Some people resort to using RX drugs to fuel their addiction! I've seen it happen. They mix drugs then us viagra or something to keep them going. That is not good.


miked0924 profile image

miked0924 6 years ago

Great hub, Also been there-done that-got Help. So Speaking from my mistakes If you know you have a problem or someone that you care about does, get them some type of help.


one2recognize2 profile image

one2recognize2 6 years ago from New York Author

Thank you all, keywc58, GMiah, Viagra Man and Mike D for your input and ForexCashBack yes masturbation is something 95% of the male and lets not leave out women do on a constant basis. However, with a sex addict if you just finished having sex with your partner and still feel the need to self stimulate yourself further afterwards that is a sex addict. There is a difference and masturbation is something everyone experiments with and enjoys. Its just human nature.


malmuhan profile image

malmuhan 6 years ago

what is sex ?!!


shinujohn2008 6 years ago

great hub


Monica 6 years ago

It's all about the psychology of man or woman. We enjoy what is forbidden! Great share :)


THE LIP profile image

THE LIP 6 years ago from PLANET EARTH-SOMEWHERE IN ASIA

Where oh where and how oh how does one reach U Alicia durling?We're two of the same kind..Believe me we cud ignite a passionate fire together..Just say hello Babes..Leave the rest to me!!!

Wanna Taste Me Alicia..Cannot wait to get inside Ur Pant(ie)s!!!

Mwaaaaaaaaah


relationship1013 profile image

relationship1013 6 years ago

What do you say constitutes sex addiction? Guys think of sex a lot. I can't speak for women but my guess is... on average... not so much.

Is sex addiction once a day or is it the NEED that makes it an addiction.

The problem I have is the labels can get overwhelming for the simple fact that you now have an excuse to point at. Just a few thoughts. Great article by the way.


Mim.A. profile image

Mim.A. 6 years ago

I hope this addiction is covered in my health plan.


Info Help profile image

Info Help 6 years ago from Chicago

Great hub! Thanks for the information :)


ashimajain profile image

ashimajain 6 years ago from India

Excellent post! I really enjoyed reading it. I will be back for more!


theindianblues profile image

theindianblues 6 years ago from Some where on the Globe

Good one and thanks for sharing


Miss Nasreen profile image

Miss Nasreen 6 years ago

You provide VERY GOOD information so nice to meet you dear


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 6 years ago from Chicago

I used to be addicted to sex but it miraculously cured itself when I hit about 50.


jwdeghent 6 years ago

Excellent hub article!


one2recognize2 profile image

one2recognize2 6 years ago from New York Author

relationship1013 if you must ask I must respond. :) Yes, the norm is men think about sex a lot and let me speak for some women by saying we do as well. The point here is when its too much in mind that you can't have a sit down dinner without running to the bathroom to release some stress, or be so obsessed with it outside of your own relationship that it becomes a problem. Face it if being with every man or woman you find attractive is a must then being in a monogamous relationship will never truly be for you unless you are willing to change or the person you're with shares the same feelings. If they do then great but if not it totally isn't worth hurting someone because the addicted person can't control themselves. Everyone else again I say thanks for taking the time to read this hub and place your comments.


vj 6 years ago

great article


missmarsh profile image

missmarsh 6 years ago from USA

Excellent hub on a difficult subject! Nicely written! Thanks for sharing.


Wayne Orvisburg profile image

Wayne Orvisburg 6 years ago

So, if one's partner gave them oral sex before marriage, then stops at marriage, who is the deceiver?


4everfitness profile image

4everfitness 6 years ago

Very informative. Thought I knew alot about this topic until I read your hub. Thanks.

http://www.foreverfitness.info


Mortgagestar1 profile image

Mortgagestar1 6 years ago from Weirton,West Virginia

Love Addicts Anonymous illuminated the tight link between the sexual and the emotional dimensions of compulsive and addictive activites and thoughts appearing. The therapeutic community is intimately aware of the evidential support for this link.

As a member of SLA, I can say it is a real condition. Mine was from neglect and emotional abuse as a child. Like any drug, one strives for that high. Physiologically, orgasms are transquilizers and the emotional adrenaline is an internal form of self medication. It can lead to dangerous situations. Like a junkie or an alcoholic, you need a bigger jolt, a harder hit. At the peak of my addiction, I was merely getting a few hours of rest per day. Speeeding on coffee and over the counter stimulants to stay awake. Having been stationed between New York City and Philadelphia, I could get my fix at any time. One woman simply wasn't enough and I sought out uninhibited bisexual women with like condition to feed my addiction. Eventually, it affected my interpersonal relationships. Hiding my lifestyle as a compulsive sex addict became more difficult to control. It was an amazing mathematical probabilty that sooner or later I would either contract a desease or become another statistic. I avioded both. Fortunately, I sought professional intervention, both from The Air Force and another from SLA. Like most addicts I still struggle from time to time but I am in control and it does not control me.


Simply Soheila profile image

Simply Soheila 6 years ago

Informative hub, thank you.


DREAM ON profile image

DREAM ON 6 years ago

I think there are many people who could fall on the fine line.They enjoy sex so much and maybe their partner is busy with other things.The strong desire may be because lack of interest in other areas.There are so many sources for porn today compared to years ago.It is real easy to get lost in fantasy and reality.nice hub.


Electro-Denizen profile image

Electro-Denizen 6 years ago from Wales, UK

Sex addiction is a huge problem these days, especially with all the visual stimulous provided by the media (of erotic and/or porno kind). Some people decide they find it normal to feel over-sexed all the time, might even be proud of it. One thing I have learned though, is that strong sex motivations do come from un-observed problems within self, simple as that. Biologically, feeling horny is just a sensation, and it can become a bad habit if that feeling is connected with constant fantasies and objectifications. Fortunately, the cycle of lustiness/release, which in fact is far off from a deep sense of peace and serenity, is something that can be broken with help and guidance. In some ways, everything is a matter of habit. Good hub one2recognise2.


Amez profile image

Amez 6 years ago from Houston, Texas

Good Work, a difficult subject to cover, some many variation, of what one might call an addiction in Sex. Sense very few will except that as an illiness, or that they have reached that level emotional release. Even though It was designed for a greater purpose, I'm sure we allowed a little room for experimental expression, dont you.


Game Trainers 6 years ago

I think it's natural as long as we make it with somebody we love.


georgewilliamritz profile image

georgewilliamritz 6 years ago from Sunny Country

Sex addiction is surely something that is serious enough that warrants in depth research and study by the medical professional. Often time, we came across breaking news from the celebrities circle of so and so were addicted to sex.

I think the recent news about Tiger Wood's personal life may be closely related to sex addiction.


Jay_the_Reviewer profile image

Jay_the_Reviewer 6 years ago

Interesting post


google biz kit  6 years ago

Great hub


google biz kit  6 years ago

Great hub


Aitizaz Khan profile image

Aitizaz Khan 6 years ago

hmmmm very good hub lots of information


Aitizaz Khan profile image

Aitizaz Khan 6 years ago

hmmmm very good hub it contains lots of information :)


Sam 6 years ago

Just to focus a bit more on how dangerous it could be on your physical health by inreasing the possiblity of contagious deseases , also on your mental health where some ppl become crazy.


karmicfilly profile image

karmicfilly 6 years ago from Franklin, TN

I was trained by international sex addiction specialist Patrick Carnes in January 2009. It was a very enlightening experience and took away a lot of my expectations and judgments. What you did not include is that there usually is some sort of childhood trauma that is what starts all this. It need not be huge to be traumatic to a child. Yet it changes the template in the brain.

The arousal template in the brain completely changes for an addict. Internet porn literally changes that immediately upon viewing. With that bar being raised the addict needs more and more even risky behavior to get to the arousal.

It is a sad fact that many addicts are out there not only harming themselves but their closest loved ones. These are not perpetrators or pedophiles. Not that they can't at some point go to those risky behaviors. Younger and younger conquests.

Read Patrick Carnes books if you have questions and need information, he is brilliant and dedicated to this work.


indian number 2 6 years ago

self stimulation after sex is common in the sense if the partner doesnt satisfy you the way you wanted and it cannot be mentioned as sex addiction, there is no other option to reach climax and everybody has their own perceptions about sex which is not simply satisying them, perhaps some thing more than that..


articleposter profile image

articleposter 6 years ago

Pleasure reading :D


gsathre83 6 years ago

MMMM... I love sex as much as someone can and too my knowledge from partakers responses am pretty good between the sheets or in the kitchen or on the floor in the living room or.... well you get it. Never has anyone cheated on me. Not a once to my knowing of course. If you cheat on your partner, that is all on you, not because he/she makes you _____ repetitively. I like the hub though. Just tired of people making excuses for cheating. Cheating is for the weak and dishonest, not for people who crave sex.


serialkisser4u 6 years ago

thanks for sharing one for us....good post


Scott Yates 6 years ago

I think this is an excellent hub. Not everyone thinks of sex as an addiction these days nor do they realize the effects it has on their relationships. 2 thumbs us on this one!


Sean Leong profile image

Sean Leong 6 years ago from Malaysia

Sex drive varies from one person to another. I have a very high sex drive but none of my ex-girlfriends complaint. It's important to look for a sexually compatible partner.


S-imagination profile image

S-imagination 6 years ago

addiction is a mostly problem of the today's youngsters.

the effects of addiction:

Heroin- Brain cells can become dependent (highly addictive) on this drug to the extent that users need it in order to function in their daily routine.

Alcohol- Alcohol impairs judgment and leads to memory lapses. It can lead to blackouts.

sex- i don't know.i would like to ask question from "one2recognize2" what are the bad or good effects of sex.


DanielleV 6 years ago

this is a good hub. so many people don't talk about sex and therefore could be naively in a harmful relationship with a sex addict. effective way to bring attention to some warning signs.


Nate Kelley 6 years ago

Very good hub, makes you think about all differnt aspects of life.. keep up the great hubs.. Feel free to check mine out. Happy New Years


one2recognize2 profile image

one2recognize2 6 years ago from New York Author

Hi everyone, and again I am very surprised with the responses received on this one particular subject. Let me get one thing straight if in a relationship, love and sex goes without saying. Yes, you want to please your partner and be pleased as well in the process. My bringing this subject to light was due to a personal experience a friend shared on the subject. When having spontaneous sex with your partner that's fine its expected, the issue with being addicted to sex comes into play only when the desire is sought outside of the relationship, with multiple partners, no protection and no worries about STD's. If you want to be promiscuous and cannot commit then you shouldn't. A commitment is shared among two consensual individuals, not the two of you and the many others you crave for to fulfill a desire for sexual pleasure behind their back, be it as described above or thru self-stimulation or porn. It becomes an addiction when all you do is think about having it morning, noon and night. It becomes a problem when your child turns on the computer and a video of two individuals pops up automatically, and its a problem many face but just never truly talk about it due to shame or embarrassment.


Cow Flipper profile image

Cow Flipper 6 years ago from Southern Oregon

As a recovering sex addict myself I can say that this addiction is up there with the worst of them. Those caught up in the middle of it will make excuses for their behavior, will build a wall around themselves to block out those they hurt and tell themselves that they are doing nothing wrong. With that wall they cut off those that love them and their secrets hurt the ones they love.

Though I never physically cheated on my partners I was addicted to internet porn and chatting. The shame I felt for my actions burned inside me and when I was caught I'd rebel against my accusers. I lashed out with blame and anger at the ones I had hurt and then turned that pain inward and hurt myself even more. This is a mental disease like any other and the physical thrill aspect is only one part of the distortion in thinking and the ritual aspects of the disease itself.

It takes a sort of extraordinary reprogramming through vigilant observation of ones thoughts and mindfulness to gain control over the addiction itself and constant reminders of the triggers of those thoughts. Sex should be healthy and never deviant. If your partner is uncomfortable with your advances then you have crossed a line. If your partner is aggressive with their advances then they are crossing the line with you. Sex is not supposed to be a twisted act of depravity but an act of joining, it should be a union between two people.

I want to thank one2recognize2 for writing this hub. It is good that it is brought forth to the public eye. So many of us want to forget about such things and keep them private but that is part of the problem. You see anti ads about cigarettes, drugs, and drinking... but never about sex addiction. It is a taboo subject that people don't want to talk about in the open. I applaud you for doing so.


Tiusto profile image

Tiusto 6 years ago from Country Indonesia, State : Bandung

Food,drink,sex,shelter are called physiological needs from Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Addicted to sex is extrem condition,it is like a deviation of sex (parafilia). People who have this habit as soon as possible go to a psychiater or a psychologist to get the proper therapy.


bluesky4real profile image

bluesky4real 6 years ago from Abuja

I'm addicted to writing and I cant help it.

Nice Hub. Bookmarked


one2recognize2 profile image

one2recognize2 6 years ago from New York Author

To Cow Flipper and the rest of the readers who have experienced this addiction I'd like to personally thank you for taking the time to share your ordeal with us, and commend you for seeking the help you needed to get a grasp on it.


Cow Flipper profile image

Cow Flipper 6 years ago from Southern Oregon

one2recognize2 thank you for writing about it.


rdelp profile image

rdelp 6 years ago

I haven't read much on sex addiction...interesting information.


Cheeky Girl profile image

Cheeky Girl 6 years ago from UK and Nerujenia

Sex addiction is taboo in some parts, and we can't read enough about it in other parts. It's either a feast or a famine. I had a boyfriend a few years ago and he seemed to be addicted to wanting to have sex with first-timer girls. And keep repeating it over and over. That's some weird addiction. I finally got rid of him, but he was a bit scary. Addictions - the real ones are a bit crazy. There's more to it than you say here - but maybe you're gonna cover it in another hub, or 2? Great Hub anyway!


treasuresyw profile image

treasuresyw 6 years ago from Savannah, GA

Interesting hub. Great info. It is good to shed light on the situation. What does need to be understood is that just like with any other addiction, this addiction is not something that is simply sought after by an individual. It is not just promiscuity at its finest. This is something that may have started out as a means to stop the pain of an issue, or something that cannot be easily overcome. People with a sexual addiction need support just as your loved one with any other addiction. Not to imply that a person should not keep themselves safe or even distance themselves if they want to, but it is not, most of the time just something that should be dismissed as, "Oh, all they gotta do is just stop." Not easy. That's why there are clinics and sex anonymous meetings. This is a real addiction. Good job in helping the awareness of this issue. Peace to you.


one2recognize2 profile image

one2recognize2 6 years ago from New York Author

Thank you treasuresyw. Awareness is always vital and you are so right. Everyone with an addiction needs the support and understanding of those who love them, but sadly more prefer to distance themselves in order to save themselves the humiliation and or torment that comes along with being involved with the addicted party.


networkandy profile image

networkandy 6 years ago from Connecticut

Sex has always been a fascinating topic to talk about. Now a days is difficult for some people to quit and difficult for some people to get it.

quitting is very difficult since it can be so addicting once you find someone that really knows how to please you.

Awesome hub I hope you keep making more like this

I will now follow you


rose06 profile image

rose06 6 years ago

wo..............w super...pls contact


afunguy24 profile image

afunguy24 6 years ago from Swansea, IL

I love sex, but a addiction - naw.

If you are addicted to sex nothing is wrong with you. You just are a very stimulated person.


sexspert profile image

sexspert 6 years ago from Missouri

It sounds like sex addiction is truly one of those chemical imbalances like bipolar or obsessive compulsive that simple manifests itself in a very specific form, possibly similar to adrenaline rushes extreme sports provide.

I wonder if a redirect into something else that provides that natural high would diminish a persons need for sex.


Peter Dickinson profile image

Peter Dickinson 6 years ago from South East Asia

Thank you. An interesting hub which is getting you a lot of equally interesting comments.

I like making love as much as the next person but don't really a agree with your "A sex addict can be easily detected if they exhibit any of the following signs". As one of the commenters already said...they are, I believe too broad based.

Excessive anything is, I agree, on the road to addiction but... I go with prostitutes when not in a relationship (and sometimes when I am but far away from my partner) and feel no guilt or addiction. Such transient relationships are not excessive and harm no one as 'love' does not come into the equation. The sex I have had with working girls frequently, but not always matches that described by you at the start of your hub.

I watch porn on occassion. I have never had phone or computer sex and don't find it the remotest bit interesting. I believe we are all voyeurs at heart... passing a window where the curtains are open and the light is on. We would all look, wouldn't we? Maybe some would look quickly away.

I have never dated through personal ads. I find that dating a working girl is more of a sure thing, a lot cheaper and maybe it would surprise some people but they are really nice human beings.

I would never contemplate rape or molestation as I am not that sort of person and have a high regard and respect for people. I don't have unsafe sex.

So enough of my rambling I just really wanted to make the point that I don't believe I am addicted because of making love to prostitutes.

I enjoyed your hub though. Thank you.


Jason 6 years ago

Sex is hard wired into all living creatures to ensure the continuation of the species. I'm not sure about all this sex addiction stuff, I think it's just an excuse, we all need to control ourselves.


Tony 6 years ago

Sex is hard wired into all living creatures to ensure the species survives, I'm not sure about the whole addiction thing.


bihar profile image

bihar 6 years ago from Patna

men think about sex all the time.


antonrosa profile image

antonrosa 6 years ago from USA

haha, I loved reading this, thanks!


Kris Z profile image

Kris Z 6 years ago from New York

Yes, I think you definitely are a sex addict if you use drugs + viagra(even if you don't need to use it). They don't fear the consequences.

And also, lol, men always do think about sex.


Adam 6 years ago

Sex is a tough subject to write about but this was a great hub.


Tubbs Merouge profile image

Tubbs Merouge 6 years ago from Louisiana

Great hub, as usual!!!!!


Piglitza profile image

Piglitza 6 years ago from South Africa

Deffo worth the read. Thanks for sharing! Awesome hub!


2besure profile image

2besure 6 years ago from Charlotte, North Carolina

What a horrible addiction. It is like constantly eating and still being hungry. It probably goes back to some childhood trauma.


gyangroup profile image

gyangroup 6 years ago

Great article, Keep it up


shabarigirish profile image

shabarigirish 6 years ago

Great hub. Very well written.


exinco profile image

exinco 6 years ago from Malaysia

"this is a subject rarely discussed yet" no discuss just do it. in fact sex discuss widely and freely in developed country


amanes 6 years ago

good hub to put it mildly!


one2recognize2 profile image

one2recognize2 6 years ago from New York Author

I simply want to once more thank everyone for giving this hub so much attention. Your comments and personal experiences shared were greatly appreciated, and I commend the ones struggling to maintain their addiction at bay for noticing the damage it can cause within the relationships you hold dear, and your own health.


FGual profile image

FGual 6 years ago from USA

I admire you for tackling a difficult subject that most people would rather not discuss. It is a complex issue with many angles. Among them; parent hunger, sibling rivalry, need to feel freedom,need for stress relief,need to impress, cultural biases toward gender, addictive personality, low self esteem, peer pressure, Maybe more. It is a labyrinth of interconnected emotions. It's all a part of our humanness, which changes over time. We often outgrow the behavior patterns of our youth, but some of us never do.


knmentertainment profile image

knmentertainment 6 years ago from Arizona

Interesting hub for sure. I've seen many specials on TV about sex addicts. These people need help if it runs their lives like other addictions do.


DREAM ON profile image

DREAM ON 6 years ago

All addictions carry a little of somethng to an extreme.I think we all try to balance our lives sometimes things go haywire.Love and understanding is needed in all situations.My prayers are with those who fight there inner battles.


Empty 6 years ago

An excellent hub. These kind of mind boggling presentations are few and it deserves specail acclaim. It is to be understood in detail as the matter is seriuos. Already the author has has spelt different additions and she gave the punch to sex addition alone. Yes it is correct, it is the worst form of addiction. Any addiction is bad since it tells upon the life in one way or other. To keep it under control other forms are comparitively easier; at least it is self oriented. Whether it is drug addition,alcoholic addiction, gambling addition, tobacco addiction and so on, the effected has a way out to control with out the knowledge of others. In the case of sex addiction whether it is bisexual or homosexual another one is involved to the minimum. So it is more vulnerable to more problem compared to others. That is why this is the worst among the lot. The after effects are clearly spelt out and each one is worse than the other. But it is imperative that one will slip to any of this or to a variety. In short the problem is so serious and it will be interesting to note how one turns to sex addiction.

Let me tell my case. I am not a sex addict fully so far. But I have my own inhibition in mind whether i am slowly slipping to that. I was perfectly alright and never thought about a sexual affair with any one other than my wife. In spite of several opportunities I never had and affair with any other and in fact I was a bit afraid of it. Till the birth of my first child we had good sexual life and subsiquently my wife lost interest in sex. But sex was not totally avoided and I too never felt the urge for sex because of so many preoccupations. The condition started worsening and sooner the sex beacame a forgotten affair and our life continued. Absolutely there was no difference of opinion among us and in all other activities she gave maximum cooperation.To tell the fact we love each other and she doesn't need sex. It was a peculiar situation and unexpectedly I developed an affair with another lady who was in fact sex starved. It was a pure secret affair and both derived much more from the other than from the spouses. It continued and my sexual urge was taken care to the maximum and probably much better than my better half. It continued for some years and all on a sudden there was asudden obstruction for it and she also got away from me. She completely got transformed and hated to tell the word sex. By this time I am at the helm of my sexual desire. A man deliberately avoided girls started liking them much more than ever before and the chances reduced drastically. Now I am a sex starved fellow and my desire is piling up day by day.I look to each and every passig by lady with desire and my look is concentrating on the breast and butt.The moment I see a lady my desire gets kink and I dream the affair with her. I am afraid of going in public places where ladies assemble as my look, action and talk is not matching to situation. I am making use of hitting on women parts and bottom slapping where ever possible. I am confident that I am slipping but unable to control. All these problems starteed after the sex starvation for quite some time and the sudden drop of my sex partner.

I used to think about all the other options given by the author. But unfortunately nothing is suiting to my mind. Once in a while at the peak of urgency I masturbate. I reularly watch porn sites. But it is only aggravating the condition. I am unable to concentrate on any thing other than sex. Lickly I don't have job and there is no chance of sexual harrasment of coworkers. Other wise by this time I would have been trapped. I don't have courage to rape and molest. Mild attempt of disturbing the modesty of the opposite sex is happening from my side and that is why I am afraid. What is the way out. I expect some suggestions.


appam profile image

appam 6 years ago from India

Totally a different hub with striking feachers. Probably there are so many in this categary but only a few are known out. It is really a serious condition and a very good subject for a detailed research.


christianbooks profile image

christianbooks 6 years ago

Highly commendable hub !

Sex Addiction is certainly a serious situation and cannot just be neglected, and its important that this matter is openly talked about so people can further understand what its all about and how it should be dealt with.


ajbarnett 6 years ago

An open and honest hub. Well done.


one2recognize2 profile image

one2recognize2 6 years ago from New York Author

Dear Empty. I do hope you come back and read this as I am very concerned for your well being and the thoughts that are now possessing you. My first suggestion is that you pray that God guides you and that you seek the assistance of a Psycotherapist as soon as possible. This may sound scary to you but you owe it to yourself, your family and anyone else you may hurt in the interim if you do not seek help right away. As I explained in the last paragraph counseling is highly recommended and they have groups that are anonymous that can truly help you, as you will meet others who are going through the same emotional turmoil you are dealing with. I have no idea where you live, so I can't research your town and supply you with the necessary numbers to help you but I do hope you take my advise and find the help you need soon. Please know that you are not alone, and I will keep you in my prayers.


Empty 6 years ago

Thank you one2recognize2 for your kind reply. Yes I will get the help of some one competent in the field and keep your words in mind. I have to come out fast and I feel it is compairitively easy now since I have not immerced, only floating. All your prayers and my determined action will pull me out of the dragan's mouth.

Thank you once again


Massagetherapistf profile image

Massagetherapistf 6 years ago from Carolyns Circle Plano, TX

Very in an original way.


one2recognize2 profile image

one2recognize2 6 years ago from New York Author

Hi Empty, I am glad you dropped by again and that you are taking a step in the right direction before you completely get swept away.

Because simply put, "Bad habits don't go away... You have to let them go." In the meantime I wish you and your family nothing but the best and if need be reach out whenever you need an ear.


Gordon Hamilton profile image

Gordon Hamilton 6 years ago from Wishaw, Lanarkshire, United Kingdom

I think that this is an excellent Hub and one that has clearly been given a considerable amount of prior thought. I have heard so much about sex addiction in the past six months, simply because it has in a sense become newsworthy, but had never even considered the possibility before that there could ever be any such thing. I suppose I had always thought of certain people as being obsessed with sex, rather than addicted to it.

To be perfectly honest, I am not sure how it is possible to be, "Addicted," to sex in a literal sense. Maybe that is because my alcohol and tobacco addictions since my early teens - which have clearly guarded against me ever having to worry about such a problem! - have never made me consider the subject before.

Regardless, this is an excellent and very interesting Hub and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it.


Prakash T profile image

Prakash T 6 years ago from Pune

The only hub that I read out till last. Interesting hub!!!


le judge 6 years ago

Great hub.


QueenBee456 profile image

QueenBee456 6 years ago from Delray Beach, FL

If only Tiger had a hold of this before... I'm gonna pass out pamphlets of this and hand them out at bars and pubs jk


CaryBoy profile image

CaryBoy 6 years ago from Glendale, AZ

I am sorry, but I must disagree with your assumptions...there is nothing wrong with sex. However, if you'll consider that maybe the addiction is about a search for love and not sex I might agree with you. Sex is all about procreation and the alpha male's main responsibility is to mate with as many females as possible and it's the same for the female. That's why our creator made it feel so good! Only society (men and women) puts the "bad" into anything...in fact the stereotypical alpha male was someone to be admired in early times.Maybe our "progressive society" has simple found another label to hang on us and make us feel guilty.

Now the search for emotional love is entirely different matter. Having an emotional need such as love left unfulfilled has caused many a man and women to go astray. Maybe this is what you are trying to say.

My wonderful wife and I make love most everyday...She loves it and so do...I guess we're addicted to sex...been that way for the last 63 years. Until you find the one that rings your bell...do you have any idea how many marriages would be saved if everyone had the same sex drive. Then again, curing all those sex addicted people sure generates the revenue.


First Glance profile image

First Glance 6 years ago from Mumbai

This is a great Hub, its my Pleasure to go through.


Roffi Grandiosa profile image

Roffi Grandiosa 6 years ago from Bandung, Indonesia

i love having sex only with my wife..


one2recognize2 profile image

one2recognize2 6 years ago from New York Author

Hello CaryBoy. I in no way said there was anything wrong with sex. If you have the right partner and it is shared in the same sense you and your wife share then its an exceptional thing. Don't get anything I wrote here twisted as this is only meant for those individuals that find themselves in a committed relationship yet still have a need to seek sexual attention elsewhere. The one's that can't seem to be fulfilled with the love they have at home and couldn't care less if they bring home a disease and the one's that can't seem to be honest about their exploits. Nothing more and nothing less. If you happen to have the right partner and you both have the same sex drive consider yourself blessed. It doesn't happen as much as we'd like to think but when it does it shouldn't be taken for granted.


GreyMoon profile image

GreyMoon 6 years ago

And the problem is?


one2recognize2 profile image

one2recognize2 6 years ago from New York Author

Thanks Prakash T, QueensBee456, Gordon Hamilton; CaryBoy for the comments. and thanks GreyMoon for stopping by...


Shil1978 profile image

Shil1978 6 years ago

Great hub, well done! All addictions can be destructive, and the sooner one recognizes the problem, the better. You can't tackle a problem unless you are aware there is a problem. Some great pointers here. Thank you for this hub!!


rainstreet profile image

rainstreet 6 years ago from North Texas

the traditional definition for addiction is when the activity begins to negatively affect your personal, social or professional life. can someone effectively make that determination about themselves or does it take an outsider? I've drifted into the realm of "addiction" in more than a few areas of my life. these include food, drugs, alcohol, internet and relationships. I'm not sure about sex. I've never really pursued sex at the exclusion of other intimacies. Often it seems to typify other pleasurable activities- anticipation generally exceeds the reality.


JeniferD profile image

JeniferD 6 years ago from Sin City Nevada

One thing some people fail to see these days is that the sexual playground is more of a minefield; you just don't know what's out there.


Phoebe Pike 6 years ago

They say that once a person is addicted, the urge never really goes away, they just resist it. For an alcoholic they tend to stop drinking alcohol, but wouldn't that mean a sex addict would stop having sex? Or do they gently ease their way back into it?


festersporling1 profile image

festersporling1 6 years ago from Los Angeles, CA

Nice hub. Any addiction is no bueno.


ratnaveera profile image

ratnaveera 6 years ago from Cumbum

One can easily control sex feeling doing body exercise and yoga. Diet control would be also hepful to get controled sex, I think. Really interesting Hub. Thanks a lot!


Rex 6 years ago

Get into the word! The Word will lead you from bad habits! Try it! Funny know how you always try to keep god out of your sinfulness by doing things in the dark or better yet putting your Bible way away from where you are planning to commit you sin! God already knows your hart and your ways and remember He is everywhere! Love, Live, Learn, Grow, Obey the Word of God now! Great article!


kit wyld profile image

kit wyld 6 years ago

addiction to me is aquiring a taste for something, anything and it makes you feel good, you never experience anything bad ,or so you think. it seems like saying it is an addiction makes it easier for some to use that as an excuss when really its all about the fact that they cannot remain faithful. for some i can see the addiction part being real. I feel like the bottom line is if you are in a relationship and feel the urge to be unfaithful then have the guts to bring it up with ur significant other and talk about it instead of letting them find out sum other way.


jgw899 profile image

jgw899 6 years ago from Santa Cruz

The way you worded paragraph 2 really turned me on. Great writing.


jamy 6 years ago

be a good religion, and obay the rules of your religion. because non of thre religion alow you to do sex with others without your partner, there will be not addiction and no STD


Marcus James profile image

Marcus James 6 years ago from Australia

My name is Marcus and I'm a sex addict.....

... I'm kidding. I'm just male (it's close enough anyway)


bigdave58 profile image

bigdave58 6 years ago from Arizona

It is my humble opinion that addiction is quite simply, existing as a human being. Everyone living is addicted to something(s). Be it, Drugs, Food, Breathing, Sex, Money, Fame, Exercise, etc. Some of our addictions are accepted and some are not. It depends on the majority rule. Addition to money and its pursuit is accepted in corporate America, where addiction to drugs is not. An addiction or obsession, which mean the same thing, to winning is accepted in the relm of sports , where an addiction or obsession to eating is not. It is all about perception and balance.


loveofnight profile image

loveofnight 6 years ago from Baltimore, Maryland

informative and interesting hub.....thx 4 share


Rudra profile image

Rudra 6 years ago

very nice. but want to keep it a little discreet.


RecoverToday profile image

RecoverToday 6 years ago from United States

This is a very helpful article, covering every aspect of the problem. It should be passed on to many others. Thank you for sharing it.


ezzy1512 profile image

ezzy1512 6 years ago

You are plain and open. Thanks.


ezzy1512 profile image

ezzy1512 6 years ago

A wonderful hub. Revealing real and plain facts.


one2recognize2 profile image

one2recognize2 6 years ago from New York Author

I'd like to thank everyone who read, commented, and expressed their own opinions on the subject; and quite frankly gave this hub so much attention. I am truly blessed and honored to have gotten this lucky. Thanks again and happy hubbing one and all.


generalbrat profile image

generalbrat 6 years ago from california,usa

well now all these comments are true troubled thoughts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1


writer45 profile image

writer45 6 years ago from Fargo, North Dakota

Well written and very clearly defined.


K-Dub 6 years ago

Check it up for sex tips at http://bit.ly/azsZXW


tabletoptree 6 years ago

very good


kandrawe profile image

kandrawe 6 years ago from Tropical Country

usefull hub..


Medical Writer profile image

Medical Writer 6 years ago from Great Britain

Cant stop thinking about sex. I have sex on my mind all the time.


Addicted 6 years ago

I was addicted to sex for many years and it was bloody awful. Like any other addiction and similar to eating disorder you feel terrible afterwards.

Consumed by feelings of guilt and low self worth, sex became a tool to hide my incredibly low self esteem and childhood trauma from people who came close to me. As a result I could not form friendship with opposite sex.

sex addicts are lonely quite people with the history of depression and hidden anger.

Now I am ok because i dealt with my depression and started to like myself which was very hard.


valeriebelew profile image

valeriebelew 6 years ago from Metro Atlanta, GA, USA

Anyone can become sexually obsessed and most of us have at one time or another; however, losing control is something else entirely. Certain drugs are also closely related to sexual obsessions and marathon sexual behavior with many partners. Thanks for tacklng a difficult problem about which to write. (:v


sakil58 profile image

sakil58 6 years ago from Bangladesh

This is an important thing that you have written,I am amazed.Visit my blog sakil58.blogspot.com and leave your comment.Please tell me what should I add in my blog.


Phone Sex 6 years ago

Ofcourse you are right that sex is a prominent part of addiction. Today it has a big problem for the people.

Phone Sex


candle62 profile image

candle62 6 years ago from London

nice hub


sex call 6 years ago

What can someone do if you find yourself being pressured to decide before you’re ready?


alica 5 years ago

very informatic hub for me.plz all of u spiclly writer of hub i invite on http://enjoypoints.co.cc plz come and see for like these topics thanks


SEXYLADYDEE profile image

SEXYLADYDEE 5 years ago from Upstate NY

Great hub! You covered alot of the negatives and there was alot more that you obviously could have added but a hub can only be so long. I have read alot of the information you provided and you conveyed it in a good manner.


love sex 5 years ago

i realy like sex i do sex atleast twice and musturbing once in a day. do i sex addicted ?


Phone Sex 5 years ago

Obviously too much of a good thing no matter what it is, is a problem. It is important that everything is done in moderation.


puddingicecream profile image

puddingicecream 5 years ago from United States

This is a very interesting topic. I never thought that some people might actually be so addicted to sex!


TheMonk profile image

TheMonk 5 years ago from Brazil

I think anything that is really good can become an addiction. I have a friend who claims to be addicted to chocolate!


Thoughts Become profile image

Thoughts Become 4 years ago from Louisiana

Thank you.


jeremejazz profile image

jeremejazz 4 years ago from Philippines

very nice advice


jesupman 4 years ago

I had a wife who would only have sex with me once a month. We were chaste before we married and were married 18 years. she discovered the chat rooms and at first it was all innocent. Then she started going to adult chat rooms. All this time, she portrayed herself as a good Christian woman. She told everyone she could that I abused her but I never did. I caught her several times on these chat rooms after she swore she wasn't on them. I even produced pages of emails that she had sent to her on line lovers relating that she didn't like spanking because I used to abuse her. She would leave me and our children and then come back when she wanted sex, which was only once a month. She finally moved out and wanted to come back until I told her since I couldn't make her happy, I was leaving her. She turned into a sex and love addict but never had sex, according to her. She traveled across the country to meet her on line lovers but again, she never had sex...or so she wants you to believe. I never cheated on her, I worked 2 jobs to support her on line expenses and she would only come to my bed after one of her on line lovers got her so bothered she needed relief. I guess what I don't understand is...I was there and willing to make love to her any way she wanted but I wasn't good enough. But now, I have a wonderful woman and we have been married nine years, who meets my needs and we have an outstanding sex life

.


one2recognize2 profile image

one2recognize2 4 years ago from New York Author

Hello Jesupman, thank you for sharing your experience with me. I can truly understand how difficult this may have been to share and applaud you for doing so. I have found that writing out your past hurts and sharing them with others can be very therapeutic so I hope it was the same for you. You were right to let go of your ex, and I am certainly happy you found the mate that truly fulfills your needs both emotionally and physically. Stay blessed and thanks again for commenting.


leros003 profile image

leros003 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

Very great informative hub!


one2recognize2 profile image

one2recognize2 4 years ago from New York Author

Thank you leros003

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