10 Reasons Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries are Getting a Divorce

If you are like me and watched in horror as the relationship between Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries played out on her family’s reality show, you knew this marriage was doomed. I know it may have been hard to see the signs on Kim Kardashian's botoxed face, but she was horrified, too (finally!!!), when she realized she had made a BIG OOoopsie! by marrying this big galoot!

Did I think it was going to fall apart in record time, even for Hollywood standards? Not quite.

But every single interaction between the two of them was another nail in the coffin of their marriage.

Although I know that what we are presented with on a reality tv show is a manipulated and edited form of the truth, I’m going to break down 10 of the main relationship issues that I observed in each cringe-worthy episode leading up to their wedding, a.k.a. the biggest mistake of their lives.

1. Kris’ Dogs – Kim did not like Kris’ beloved dogs. He treated them like family and let them sleep in his bed. She wanted them in crates and probably put the fear of God in them with her shameful fur coat collection. Wicked Stepmother, anyone? That’s a deal breaker for any animal lover and a blinking red neon sign that their love wouldn’t last.

2. Kim’s Family – Kris didn’t try to endear himself to Kim’s family and instead seemed like a disrespectful smart-ass. If he ever watched their show, he should know that he was not marrying 1 woman; he was marrying her, her mom, and her sisters, too, and he would have to win them all over. If your family and all your friends don’t like your boyfriend, WAKE UP and smell the red flags!

3. Kim’s Family… again – Kim’s sisters did not warm up to Kris. They were intent on giving him the 3^rd degree from the get-go. Kourtney and Khloe either knew that he is a terrible match for their sister or they interrogate all her boyfriends as some sort of overprotective initiation into this meddling family. I think it’s a little bit of both.

4. Kris makes a bad first impression – As Kim is trying on wedding dresses, she is explaining that most people, including herself, can’t stand Kris at first, then she decided he was cute and endearing.

Sorry, but after you are intimate with someone and fall in love, you can overlook things you hated about them, BUT, those things come back to haunt you after your honeymoon period. And those little quirks are NOT cute anymore. Instead, get used to making excuses for your abrasive and uncivilized buffoon because you get to be embarrassed by him every time he opens his mouth in public for the rest of your married life. Not a good look for someone who is obsessed with how the media perceives her.

5. Lifestyle & Communication – Kris seems like a typical Mid-western boy. Kim is your run of the mill Hollywood socialite celebutart. They barely knew each other and hadn’t even made it to the 1 year anniversary mark of the day they even met. Kris seemed to find out, on camera, that Kim had been married for oh, like, 5 YEARS previously. I wonder when Kim's sex-tape bomb dropped or if Kris found out on google after the divorce papers were filed???

Kris questioned what else he didn’t know about Kim. Here’s one clue: he didn’t know that they have nothing in common. Their viewers all knew that this usually spells disaster unless one or both is willing to change.

6. Neither is willing to change – They are both obviously headstrong and stubborn. During the wedding planning, Kim was determined to get her way on everything. Kris tried to inject his “cheeseburgers”, nixed the sparkle in the black, white, and sparkle theme, vetoed Christina Aguilera, and was determined to make sure the wedding wasn’t “too girly”.

When your fiancé won’t allow you to have a “girly” wedding – sorry ladies, he is not a believer in the “happy wife, happy life” philosophy. Stick with someone that is happy when you are happy, and will do anything to make you smile.

A real man will deal with a froufy wedding because he knows that it will make his wife the happiest woman alive for a day she has been fantasizing about since she was six. As a consellation, he can watch football in his man-cave while drinking beer with his bros, every sunday for the rest of your lives together. It is called “compromise” and it should be part of your wedding vows.

7. Bad Habits – Kim is obviously a neat freak germaphobe. Kris is a slob. These little quirks are all cute and fine when you are madly in love, but pretty soon, it becomes a bone of contention and the adorable neat freak becomes a relentless nag. Sorry slobs - you should stick with their own kind, no matter how sexy the tidy temptress is. Otherwise, you get to check the box on the divorce papers marked “Irreconcilable Differences.”

8. Age and Maturity – Did Kris seem a little immature to you? That’s because he IS ! Five years younger than Kim; Kris is 26 and Kim is 31. It works for people who have a lot of other things in common, like their lifestyles, love of animals, great in-law relationships, mutual caring, respect, and MATURITY. In this scenario, he is much too young for her. It speaks volumes about Kim’s immaturity, naiveté, and just plain stupidity for thinking that this would work regardless of the fact that they had nothing in common.

9. Financial Fallout – Just the other day it was reported that Kris was scammed out of a large sum of money by a friend. Add that to the fact that he is estimated to be worth a paltry $8 million compared to her $36 million fortune and you have a very unequal playing field. It is not always easy for the man to be ok with his wife making more money than him. It really becomes a problem with a superficial woman like Kim because to her, looks, status, and money are everything, and Kris was unemployed as he awaited the end of an NBA lockout to find out if he was re-signed to Nets or not. We're talking #1 reason for divorce, here, people.

10. The Proposal – Did anyone watch their Fiji vacation, where Kim freaked out about the flowers strewn on her bed? If so, were you as confused as I was when Kris proposed to Kim in her house with red rose petals all over her white rug? It made me a little sick to my stomach that Kim overlooked something that usually makes her break out in hives, just to get her hands on that ring.

Even I, who I admit lean towards the slob category, cringed at how the petals were going to stain that carpet as they stepped on them (is this guy really THAT dumb??!). E! cameras must not have been there for the part where Kim probably crawled on her hands and knees, throwing a tantrum and crying, while she picked up every last one of those petals.

ONE YEAR is the rule of thumb for engagement. This not only gives you a good timeline for planning, but it also gives you plenty of time to make sure you are doing the right thing!

YES planning a wedding is stressful, so don't throw in the towel on your first or fourteenth disagreement, but if these little spats turn into time apart and not speaking to one another, you have a communication problem that will not be solved by a formal union.

Instead, if you can remember that you love each other more than getting your way and patch things up quickly by working out your differences of opinion, you are well on your way to a happy marriage.

Well, for whatever reason, I felt the need to analyze and comment on how obviously irreconcilable Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries differences were. I think it just intrigued me as much as it baffled me that they decided to actually get married after these red flags were popping up at every turn.

I also must thank them for reminding me to appreciate my husband and what a great match we are most of the time. They have also reminded me to make sure I accept my husband’s flaws, love that he accepts mine, and make sure we communicate about things that we love AND things that bother us about each other.