April Fool's! Roadkill Jerky

Awww, how cute!

Awe, what a cute harmless animal. How much damage could they possible due to my vehicle?
Awe, what a cute harmless animal. How much damage could they possible due to my vehicle? | Source

April Fools!

Happy April Fool's Day!

It is time again to pull out all stops. What is the best prank you have ever pulled on April Fool's Day? Or, what April Fool's Day prank have you fallen for? Here is a prank many in my family love to share with unsuspecting visitors.

It is the gift of road kill jerky!

Who would ever suspect such a thing as a practical joke? (Frankly, it doesn't have to be roadkill, but they didn't need to know that.) Just make sure that they have the same sense of humor as you and no quick access to a deadly weapon. (It is a little hard to explain to an officer of the law the humor behind the joke, if one were called in.) For added special effect, have a couple of buddies take pictures of some roadkill to flash around as bragging rights.

Below is the recipe as followed:


A bite for the road...

Be sure to perfect your elaborate story. You don't want to mess up by laughing before your friends try their special treat.
Be sure to perfect your elaborate story. You don't want to mess up by laughing before your friends try their special treat. | Source

Ingredients for Roadkill Jerky

  • 1 1/2 - 2 Pounds boneless lean meat, any kind of meat will do...venison, beef, pork, chicken...well, you get the idea!
  • 1/4 Cup soy sauce
  • 1 Tablespoon black pepper
  • 1/4 Teaspoon garlic powder
  • 1/2 Teaspoon onion powder or onion flakes
  • 1 Teaspoon Hickory liquid smoke, Or your favorite brand of liquid smoke

Instructions

  1. Make sure to trim away the fat, cutting the meat into thin ¼ to ½ inch thick strips, across the grain.
  2. Combined the sauces and spices, then pour over the meat in a large bowl. Mix lightly then let stand overnight in the refrigerator.
  3. Drain the excess liquid from the meat and arrange close together on drying rack of the dehydrator.
  4. Dry the strips eight to twelve hours. (I let mine dry overnight.)
  5. Remove from drying rack, then place in airtight container for storage.

How would you rate this joke on a friend?

Cast your vote for Roadkill jerky

YUM!

Here is a slab of pork ready to be made into jerky.
Here is a slab of pork ready to be made into jerky. | Source

Before giving your gift, have a good story worked up.

Before giving your gift, think of an elaborate animal to go with your roadkill story.

It could be something as simple as:

“Well honey, I was traveling down Piney Creek Road when this little critter (a jackrabbit, rat, possum, or porcupine) committed suicide. I couldn't believe it when he ran under my tires, clean as a whistle.”

“Darline, look what treasure I found while hunting squirrels? Fresh deer! Jack, over yonder, hit it while out huntin' coyotes. This will hold us for a week!”

“I swear I wasn't hunting illegal, it flew right into the truck. Honest! It broke it neck, but the rest was barely busted. All I had to do was peel it from the grill. Feathers are a little ruffled, but I can use them to tie flies for fishin'.”

“Honey, Bob and I was trappin' snappers, when I decided to water a tree. There it (raccoon) was barely puffed up. Someone must have hit him while coon hunting. It hadn't been dead more than a couple of hours. Little tenderizer and he will taste great.”


Practice in the mirror until the proper emotions are mastered. Now present your culprit with you wonderful gift, daring them to taste it. Then...set back with a strait face, and watch the reactions fly.

Tell us what you think with a simple quizz...

Do you think you would be brave enough to try roadkill if given to you?

  • Yes, no problem. It's just tenderized meat...
  • No, thank you that is disgusting...
  • Maybe, it depends on what kind of animal was used...
See results without voting

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Comments 11 comments

alastar packer 5 years ago

Dang! I'll take that recipe alone. Great April Fools idea. Very funny and clever tlpoague. A rich old showman once told me to always tell a story before a trick. Yours are funtastic!


tlpoague profile image

tlpoague 5 years ago from USA Author

Thanks! I was at a loss for words this morning and decided go for some humor. I'm glad you enjoyed it!


Zsuzsy Bee profile image

Zsuzsy Bee 5 years ago from Ontario/Canada

What a good idea, just too funny. I have some friends who I can try this on once they come back (they've been in Florida for the winter) A deer did actually run into the car back in January and I can tell them I've saved some, just for them. I'll let you know how it goes... this is going to be a hoot. I owe them a pay back for a practical joke they pulled on me last summer, haha. I'm off to the grocery store to get some beef.

Thanks for this lovely idea

regards Zsuzsy


tlpoague profile image

tlpoague 5 years ago from USA Author

Thanks Zsuzsy,

I have seen my dad pull this joke off on so many of his friends or family. It gets some outragious reactions, I couldn't help but share it. Thanks again! I can't wait to hear what they thought.


Zsuzsy Bee profile image

Zsuzsy Bee 5 years ago from Ontario/Canada

tlpoague, it worked fabulously... I even went a borrowed a set of antlers from another friend and displayed them quite prominently on the porch.

I spun the story so well, ha gottem' really good - I told them that I didn't have a tarp with me in back of the Jeep... -had to go back a couple of hours later after the jeep had a check over to find the deer had been pushed into the ditch by the snow plow - the road salt did a good job at preserving the deer - not much of the meat had to be wasted etc. When Gwenny started to look a little green around the gills I pulled out the big bag (marked with their name) of 'deer' jerky aka also known as road kill aka as beef jerky ...

I also set out a big plate on the table and started to nibble on a chunk. I noticed that after my story even Jack's hand hesitated a bit but they were just toooo polite to refuse ...

I was able to play them for almost an hour before I confessed that it was beef jerky and not deer at all, and that that deer that I hit just ended up with a big bruise on it's rump... Pay back was sooooo sweet. Even though the beef roast cost me 48.65 bucks it sure was worth it all.

Thanks for the great recipe, it's quite tasty jerkey too

hope your well

regards Zsuzsy


tlpoague profile image

tlpoague 5 years ago from USA Author

Awesome!! I am glad to hear that it was a success. I can just imagine their faces of surprise and horror at trying a bite. I bet it wont be long and they will have tried this on a friend of their's.

Thanks! I am glad to be of some help and humor!


Ruchira profile image

Ruchira 2 years ago from United States

being a vegetarian...I shall pass, Tammy.

But, a killer idea to get attention and yet have a good laugh


tlpoague profile image

tlpoague 2 years ago from USA Author

Thanks Ruchira

If you ever have friends that like meat, try it sometime and let me know how it goes. :)


Mel Carriere profile image

Mel Carriere 2 years ago from San Diego California

It actually sounds rather appetizing now, and I'm hungry. I've eaten worse. Very entertaining and useful hub.


tlpoague profile image

tlpoague 2 years ago from USA Author

Thanks Mel, I am glad you enjoyed it. Every now and then I like to step out of the box and test my creative limits. Of course it helps to be part Redneck...:)


poetryman6969 profile image

poetryman6969 19 months ago

No, but I ate a zombie once!

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