April Fool's! Roadkill Jerky
Awww, how cute!
Happy April Fool's Day!
It is time again to pull out all stops. What is the best prank you have ever pulled on April Fool's Day? Or, what April Fool's Day prank have you fallen for? Here is a prank many in my family love to share with unsuspecting visitors.
It is the gift of road kill jerky!
Who would ever suspect such a thing as a practical joke? (Frankly, it doesn't have to be roadkill, but they didn't need to know that.) Just make sure that they have the same sense of humor as you and no quick access to a deadly weapon. (It is a little hard to explain to an officer of the law the humor behind the joke, if one were called in.) For added special effect, have a couple of buddies take pictures of some roadkill to flash around as bragging rights.
Below is the recipe as followed:
A bite for the road...
Ingredients for Roadkill Jerky
- 1 1/2 - 2 Pounds boneless lean meat, any kind of meat will do...venison, beef, pork, chicken...well, you get the idea!
- 1/4 Cup soy sauce
- 1 Tablespoon black pepper
- 1/4 Teaspoon garlic powder
- 1/2 Teaspoon onion powder or onion flakes
- 1 Teaspoon Hickory liquid smoke, Or your favorite brand of liquid smoke
- Make sure to trim away the fat, cutting the meat into thin ¼ to ½ inch thick strips, across the grain.
- Combined the sauces and spices, then pour over the meat in a large bowl. Mix lightly then let stand overnight in the refrigerator.
- Drain the excess liquid from the meat and arrange close together on drying rack of the dehydrator.
- Dry the strips eight to twelve hours. (I let mine dry overnight.)
- Remove from drying rack, then place in airtight container for storage.
How would you rate this joke on a friend?
Before giving your gift, have a good story worked up.
Before giving your gift, think of an elaborate animal to go with your roadkill story.
It could be something as simple as:
“Well honey, I was traveling down Piney Creek Road when this little critter (a jackrabbit, rat, possum, or porcupine) committed suicide. I couldn't believe it when he ran under my tires, clean as a whistle.”
“Darline, look what treasure I found while hunting squirrels? Fresh deer! Jack, over yonder, hit it while out huntin' coyotes. This will hold us for a week!”
“I swear I wasn't hunting illegal, it flew right into the truck. Honest! It broke it neck, but the rest was barely busted. All I had to do was peel it from the grill. Feathers are a little ruffled, but I can use them to tie flies for fishin'.”
“Honey, Bob and I was trappin' snappers, when I decided to water a tree. There it (raccoon) was barely puffed up. Someone must have hit him while coon hunting. It hadn't been dead more than a couple of hours. Little tenderizer and he will taste great.”
Practice in the mirror until the proper emotions are mastered. Now present your culprit with you wonderful gift, daring them to taste it. Then...set back with a strait face, and watch the reactions fly.
Tell us what you think with a simple quizz...
Do you think you would be brave enough to try roadkill if given to you?See results without voting
More by this Author
Here are some helpful tips to decorate your home the Redneck way. It is a guarantee that your home will be the talk of the town and never boring.
Answers to common questions when researching the perfect dog for the family. What is a La-chon? Why is it best to avoid puppy mills if possible? How can a La-Chon be the best designer dog, is it rare?
Why does the government want Bigfoot to fade away? To admit that Bigfoot was real would be admitting that Science was wrong. There would be a lot of time and money invested in re-writing history books, documentaries,...