True Life Stories And Funny Pranks: This Year's April Fools Pranks

APRIL FOOLS DAY PRANKS

It's been quite a few years since I've even thought about April Fools Day pranks.

In fact, it has been more than 40 years and counting from my childhood years when I thought it was clever as ever to fill the sugar bowl with salt or the salt shaker with sugar.

The only targets of my April Fools Day pranks were my family and I don't have to think very hard about the reactions I got. Nor the spankings!

I guess for that reason alone, even though I'm always ready to offer up my life stories as an episode of Comedy Central, I have tried to stay away from pranks and gags. Mostly because to be honest, I didn't think I was very good at them.

All that changed for me last Friday, however. On thinking back on it, the prank I decided upon "just came to me" in an instant. It wasn't planned and I felt perfectly comfortable doing it. What I hadn't counted on was the reverberation!

Let me explain.

GOOD APRIL FOOLS DAY PRANKS

In order for a prank to be good, it has to involve the right person and the right time. It also should never cause anyone emotional or physical harm. That said, it seemed only natural for me to dream up my little April Fools Day prank for my son, Patrick.

Pat is our legally blind son. He is in his early 30s and has been visiting us for a while here in Central Oregon. It's been marvelous to have him here because at this time in our lives, we have a new puppy. Gabby is but 11 weeks old and of course into everything and needs watching around the clock. It's nice to be able to share the duties so to speak as it can become very tiring with the sleepless nights and long days of puppyhood.

On Friday, we had our first day of "real" Central Oregon weather. It was balmy and warm and just the way a day should be. It was hovering into the 70s and with the sudden break in the weather to delightful, everyone was outside working in the yard. Pat was outside with us helping in the yard when I decided I needed some new supplies in town.  Pat said he'd just stay and work, finish up and then when we got back with the fresh supplies, we'd stop for lunch, then work some more.

I went upstairs to get ready and after a few minutes, popped out the back door to yell down to him from the deck that we were leaving.

He yelled something about "Are you taking Gabby with you?" just as the door slammed shut. I thought about going back out and telling him no but figured he'd discover it soon enough.

So off we went into town....and suddenly out of the blue, my plan began to take shape. I wondered if I could pull it off so tossed it out to Bob for his opinion. He seemed to get a kick out of it so figured what the heck!

I dialed Pat on the cell before I changed my mind and casually said we'd be home in about a half hour or so....and then finished with "Oh...and by the way....make sure you keep an eye on Gabby."

Silence....then "Oh...I didn't know that you left her."

Grin....."Of course I did....I figured since she was sleeping you could take care of her for a little bit, eh? Just make sure you keep an eye on her!"

As I clicked off and looked back at the crate with my sleeping Gabby in the back of the SUV, I thought to myself "Gotcha!"

We went about our errands chuckling all the while. I had no trouble envisioning Pat running around the backyard looking for the Gabster. Then I imagined him running around the house, looking under the bed, in the closets for our little vixen. Last but not least, I'm sure he was beginning to wonder if she'd escaped. (I know....what a mean mom)

Then Bob noticed that he'd had a missed call from Pat so we very casually called him back. Since it was my "gig" Bob let me do the talking.

"Hey, Pat - did you call?"

"No," he lied.

"Hmmm, that's weird because it shows that your phone called our phone a few minutes ago? Okay...well, we'll see ya soon. Oh...and how's Gabby?"

"Oh she's fine....GREAT...no worries there!"

I was having a hard time not laughing out loud about now thinking while he's talking, he's still running around looking for her.

Finally, just as I was saying goodbye and about to click off, he says in a rush...."By the way, where exactly did you LEAVE Gabby?"

Of course I had to string him along a little further so said something about in the dining room under the table. I could hear him rustling around trying to get there to see if she was asleep under the table.

"Nope, mom - she's not there. Do you think she could have gone somewhere else?"

By now, I was sensing panic start to creep in so decided to be done with my little April Fools prank for his sake and just said with all the gusto I could muster..."Ha ha....April Fools! She's been in the car the whole time with us!"

Well....needless to say he laughed after a bit but I think that was relief with a capital "R" I heard in his voice. He was absolutely beside himself thinking he'd lost the puppy somehow.

I of course chuckled the rest of the way home and then some. Oh I was SO clever wasn't I? My daughter later gave me 2 thumbs up and she's the Queen of April Fools Day jokes!

But did I think about the fact that my son's not one to take pranking lying down? Oh bummer! You know what they say....payback's a bit**ch.

GOOD APRIL FOOLS DAY PRANKS

Now in order for April Fools Day pranks to work, you do have to be believable. I was busy patting myself on the back for a job well done that evening but somehow in the back of my mind, I had a feeling I was in for a payback.

But I kept thinking, what could he possibly do that I would believe since I'd KNOW that he was going to prank me back?

Pat decided he'd help me prepare dinner and since he's much better with a knife (usually) than I am, he was busily slicing and dicing up the onions for our hamburgers for the grill.

All of a sudden, he swears under his breath and I look over to discover that he's diced off the tip of one of the pads of his fingers! Yuck! Aaack!

Let me inject here.....I'm not big on blood. My family knows this and as much as they regale my wonderful medical knowledge, they know that if I was in a hands-on medical profession, I would spend most of my time on the floor having fainted dead away. I usually do okay with the initial injury but then after I get everyone patched up....not so good.

I took a look at it and it wasn't pretty. I was debating whether he needed stitches or not but really, what was left TO stitch? Pretty well just an open wound that would be the devil to get to clot off, but I've been there and done that before with him. So sent Bob for the big box of bandaids so we could hopefully get the bleeding under control with some well placed tourniquet bandaids.

Truthfully, I'm not feeling so marvelous looking at it but I'm stoic to a fault...until it's over and done with. We enlisted Bob's strength to get the bandaids applied as tight as Pat could stand it and did over-the-top and around the finger. Then topped it off with a glove so he could protect it a bit. I dismissed him from the kitchen but of course, he'd have none of it.

The crisis having passed and beginning to get to my usual place of shaky after the blood stuff, I decided to step outside in the fresh air with the puppy for her pit stop. Telling Pat I'd be back in a few, I took a few moments to take in some deep gulps of air and try to compose myself. Seriously, what a total wimp! I'd make a heck of a nurse!

After running Gabby through her paces outside, I felt a bit refreshed though and came back in the house. I let Gabby go join her canine pals and came down the entryway bustling towards the kitchen. As I turned the corner, I certainly was NOT prepared for what I saw!

Here was my 6 foot plus son leaning back against the counter with blood dripping down his arm and hand into the sink! He was looking white as a ghost to say the least and as I opened my mouth in a huge "Oh my GAWD" he proceeded to sway back and appeared to be fainting!

Fainting!! I couldn't catch a 6 foot 200 pound plus man....and what was he doing FAINTING? That was MY line! I didn't know what to do to be honest. I just kept flapping my mouth silently like a giant carp but nothing was coming out. I was going to throw myself on the floor and let him fall on me but didn't think that would help us either!

I'm mentally thinking how far is the phone away so I can call 911?

I'm thinking how in the hell can there be so much blood?

And of course in the last instant I did what I always do. I panicked and yelled for my white knight. At least I didn't scream hysterically....at least I didn't faint myself.....I just very calmly yelled at the top of my lungs "BOB....GET IN HERE NOW......PAT'S FAINTING!" (I know...I'm great in an emergency)

Well....all I heard was "Gotcha"!  Pat springs up from his mock faint and just roars.....more laughter....as my poor Bob leaped up from the couch and came running to save the day! Where he promptly burst into laughter!

FUNNY PRANKS AND APRIL FOOLS DAY

Well, needless to say, I have no problem at ALL saying that is the absolutely last prank I am ever playing on anyone!

I can't handle the payback. I give!!

All I can say is that my heart stood still. I had no clue how Pat had managed to bleed like that but then through his peals of laughter, he showed me the ketchup he had improvised with at the very last minute. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree as they say.

I never did figure out what made me shake more that night....the blood or the scare he gave me. I had it mapped out in my mind that we were on the way to the hospital (which in our town is not a good thing).

I guess I understand more than ever the phrase "You can dish it out but can you take it?"

Me thinks my April Fools Day pranking days are long over!

Or as Sheldon on The Big Bang Theory would say......"Bazinga!"

APRIL FOOLS DAY TRIVIA

April Fools Day has been celebrated around the world since 1392.  It was first mentioned in Chaucer's Canterbury Tales in that year. 

It is also known as All Fools' Day (I think I qualify).