Language Professors Hate Him

Language Professors Hate Him? Why?

At the risk of being labeled substandard, we focus laser-like on badly constructed grammar examples illustrated in-sutu as a benefit for budding online writers and bloggers and people learning English as a third language. It's all here. Language professors hate this type of real-world in-your-face previously unpublished illustrations that illustrate really extremely improper compositional constructions. Read onward in order to learn.

Whom is hated by the language professors?

I am the whom that the language professors hate. They hate me because I undo many semesters of instruction delivered in their classrooms to cohorts of budding journalists and online bloggers. I may be a him or a her: in this particular situation gender is irellevant, we just needed a direct object onto which the language professors' hate might be focused. Never end a sentence with a preposition or these learned folks may find time to hate yourself as well.

How do you know if you're writing is bad?

The best way to know your writing is bad happens when a Language Professor hates you. Should you be not that lucky, use as a template this online article that I have published here on this online web site. Achieving this coveted hate may take some time. Plan on eating many Frito's along with Gatorade and voluminous flavors of Mountain Dew and Oreo's as you struggle against your craft. Writing takes up time even if it is bad.

Be proudly displaying your writing for the Internet to visit. You will slowly accumulate copious poorly written writing and eventually Language Professors will notice and tell each other to hate you. It's really bad but it's kind of good. Writing recognition, like getting elected to Congress, requires you to shove away your self-respect into the next county. I should know because I am hated by Professors of Language with sincerity and intensity even though I vary my sentence length.

Want to know more?

In the words of my favorite author, Alistair Eisenschuz: "You can lead a Language Professor to water, but he probably prefers a double espresso purchased by a government grant." Truer words were never spoken by someone who professes language. The next best thing to such professions is probably this list of supplemental reading rainbow resources:

Google might hate you too

Online search engines such as Google, Bing, Live, Ask, Yahoo, DogPile, and Ed The Search Engine just might expend valuable computer processing time to hate you as well. They actually will not plan to hate you specifically, rather they will compute a relatively high hating quotient for your compositions that you interject into the Internet. This is a bad thing because unless the search engines like you (again, not actually you, rather your digital output) you will never get any readers except your parents and all the clcks that you do onto your own pages.

What makes Google hate your writing?

Google hates your writing because it is repetitive and they can. Everything that can be written has already been written, thus mighty Google computers instantly recognize your contributions to cyberspace as redundant badger spit that should be reformatted to use the extra space for more original badger spit. It's all very complicated and it must be because they won't tell us how they decided it anyway. Just sleep comfortably in the comfortable knowledge that if Bob Dylan were alive today and posted Rainy Day Women #12 & 35 on his online blog, Google would refuse to index it. That's just the way it is these days.

Another victim of Language Professor hatred. Don't let this happen to you online.
Another victim of Language Professor hatred. Don't let this happen to you online.

We probably have enough words: we now conclude with a conclusion

The online world of Language Professors doesn't really know you, but they hate you. They hate you efficiently and dispassionately except it's not actually you being hated it's your writing especially when you do run-on sentences. Learn to use commas in some consistent style.

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Comments 14 comments

nicomp 4 years ago

Good thought and good idea.You took yourtime and hit a home run with this hub.

Stay Well

nicomp profile image

nicomp 4 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

Well, this is just creepy.

andromida profile image

andromida 4 years ago

I was looking at your first commentator's name: nicomp :).I found that the mighty Google has yet to find a way to evaluate the quality of writings.Thanks.

nicomp profile image

nicomp 4 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@andromida: True, but every SEO hub on HubPages will tell you to "write good." Somehow Google has convinced us that they can tell.

Steve Patriot 4 years ago

There aren't people stupid enough to believe this....


nicomp profile image

nicomp 4 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@Steve Patriot: The same people believing your name is Steve Patriot?

andromida profile image

andromida 4 years ago

Most of the people are brain-washed with the phrase "good writings". It was done purposely to hide the inherent weakness of the search algorithm.I find there is no alternative to brand and to promote your own domain name,including your sub-domain in hubpages, along with to bring traffic from alternate sources.Thank you :)

nicomp profile image

nicomp 4 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@andromida: Spot on. Dead right. No computer algorithm can define 'good writing.' Quantitative methods can't be applied to qualitative metrics. Robert Zimmerman would be working at Starbucks if he were blogging today.

busyguru profile image

busyguru 4 years ago from U.S.

Simply humorous.

nicomp profile image

nicomp 4 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

busyguru : I agree, although I am hated and biased!

Niteriter profile image

Niteriter 4 years ago from Canada

You could handwrite your Hubs in lined-paper binders and sell them for cash outside your local WalMart. By the time Google found out you would be happily retired in the wilderness of northern Canada. I would be pleased to offer my services as your tour guide.

nicomp profile image

nicomp 4 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

Niteriter : I am a greeter at Wal Mart with a bunker in No Cal. Google will never find me.

Writer Fox profile image

Writer Fox 3 years ago from the wadi near the little river

Well, at least your participle isn't dangling because that really annoys professors.

nicomp profile image

nicomp 3 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

Writer Fox: that's completely unacceptable. You have reduced the quality of my already-substandard hub. You are banned from commenting on my hubs for a period not to exceed 5 minutes.

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