Movie Review: "Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem" (2007)

DISCLAIMER: This review may contain spoilers.

And you thought "Alien vs. Predator" was bad? Just wait until you watch its sequel, "Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem". This movie is a total abortion by all means. At least the first "AVP" film had some good production design and you can understand what was happening in just about every shot. In "Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem", you can almost sense this vibe that they were intentionally aiming to make a bad movie on purpose.

"Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem" picks up immediately where the first film left off. As the predator ship leaves Earth's orbit, a PredAlien chestburster emerges from the dead body of the last predator from part one. It transforms into an adult and slaughters the other predators on the ship, causing it to crash-land back on Earth. This time, in a small midwestern town full of idiots.

Conveniently enough, there were a few face hugger specimens on board the predator ship which they were using for study. These creatures survive the crash along with the PredAlien and they begin to start a family. There's a catch to this new monster though, not only is half predator and half alien, it is also an alien queen. Aside from acquiring a stupid physical makeover that consists of a crown and dreadlocks, it can now breed without the use of eggs. All it has to do is vomit chestbursters into its victims' mouths.

Ever heard of over-exaggerating the shock factor with lots of gore? Well, this movie is full of that...

To begin with, the setting of "Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem" just isn't appropriate. This is a small suburban midwestern town filled with bullies, wimps, jocks, cheerleaders, rednecks, idiots, morons, and more idiots. So instead of an 'Alien vs. Predator' film, what we get instead is a cheap slasher film.

Once again, all that Ripley was fighting for in the 'Alien' films has gone to waste because the aliens are already on Earth prior to her timeline. This is most likely the type of film we would have gotten if "Alien 5" was given the go-ahead back in the late '90s.

At least Antarctica in the first film was more secluded and a bit of a cool idea, but this small town crap?

There's nothing more questionable about this sequel other than its title -- "Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem".

What is a requiem, you ask? By definition, it is, I quote on quote from the dictionary:

"any musical service, hymn, or dirge for the repose of thedead."

So what does any of that have to do with this film? Is there like a director's cut where the predator conducts a musical number in honor of the victims killed by the aliens?

In this case, with crappy settings come crappy characters. The protagonist, as well as his allies, play a very important role in a film's story. The 'Alien' films as well as the first two 'Predator' films both had great protagonists and characters we could root for. In "Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem", our protagonist is a lowly teenage pizza boy (WTF?) who is trying to score with the hottest chick in school.

In addition, we have his older brother who is an ex-con, his name is Dallas. What a desperate way to pay homage to the 'Alien' films. Going further, they even try to recreate a cheap version of Ripley and Newt by having a tough female soldier with a little girl. The other characters are straight out of a teeny bopper slasher flick -- The town sheriff who won't listen, the high school bimbo, and a gang of jock bullies.

Would you root for any of these idiots? I wouldn't...

That must have been what 20th Century Fox told the Strause Brothers when giving them the budget breakdown for "AVPR", because watching this movie is like looking through a glass of Pepsi for 90 minutes. Who the heck lit this movie? Or was it darkened in post-production on purpose?

I thought it was just my theater's projector when I went to see it back in 2007. Almost every shot in this movie requires you to strain your eyes a million times, especially during the night time scenes and the end. Even in the daytime, things look much darker than they should.

So the last scene involves some government guys delivering the predator gun, from one of the survivors, to an Asian woman in a conference room. It is revealed that she is Mrs. Yutani by the last lines spoken before the credits roll:

Mrs. Yutani: "The world is not ready for this technology. " (referring to the predator gun)

Government Official: "This technology is not of this world... Mrs. Yutani."

If you're one of the people who left the movie theater confused as many others by this, then that's because the filmmakers only cared about throwing in references for the fanboys alone and not making the ending more 'generalized' enough for most audiences watching the film.

See, the lady is one half of the company from the 'Alien' films known as Weyland-Yutani. Weyland being Lance Henriksen's character from the original 'Alien vs. Predator' film who died. They were tying these movies into the 'Alien' series.

The problem is most people, who don't follow these films as close as the fans, will not (and did not) GET this connection. All they know is Queen leads to egg, egg leads to face hugger, face hugger leads to chestburster, and chestburster leads to big scary alien... and Sigourney Weaver has something to do with all this. That's about it.

• The Predalien grows from a chestburster to an adult-size xenomorph in a matter of a few seconds. This is completely unheard of in the 'Alien' series.
• Instead of activating the self destruct, the wounded Predator activates a distress signal to his home world. Otherwise, we wouldn't have a movie then, right?
• The Predator planet only sends one lone predator? Very smart.
• Dallas fires at an alien that's right over him yet he doesn't get burned by acid.
• The town is getting infested with aliens, so why not drive out of town?
• After the survivors escape the nuclear blast towards the end, why doesn't the military kill them if they're trying to cover up what happened?