Stop Talking About Tiger Woods!

Sure enough, when I turned on my tv this morning, there was another giddy reporter talking about Tiger Woods. Sigh. Now my breakfast is ruined! That’s it, I’ve had it. I am now forced to write this poem and my top ten Tiger Woods retorts, because I just don’t want to hear any more tripe about him. So here are my thoughts on that subject.

Stop Talking To Me
About Tiger Woods!

There once was a great golfer
named Tiger Woods,
Who bleeped every fair maiden
that he could,
Unfortunately, it was leaked
to the world press,
Which caused his poor wife
to become distressed,
All over his unimportant, confessed, adulterous mess.
Please, stop talking to me about Tiger Woods!

NOT that you’re listening to me though. So you know...

The uproar was loud while
people talked,
Some even had the balls and gall to balk,
As if they have never, ever bleeped up,
So self-righteous and pompous in their bluff,
And tenacious in their efforts to divert us,
From their own salacious, nasty stuff!

I just can’t stand those officious types can you? Well hell...

Hopefully they’ll finally shut up and forget it,
'Cause who gives a bleep, that crap has ended,
Really folks, stop, think and try to understand,
Tiger Woods is just an ordinary, red-blooded human.

You know that mistakes are made daily by one and all,
And one day, each and every one of you,
Will too fall... far from grace!
Oh Yes!

(I’d like to be a fly on your wall when you fall then; Oh yes,Yes, YES!)

But have no fear, hallelujah people, don’t despair,
Another time will come around for Tiger Woods to SHINE,
Then you nasty commentators will be bleeping hypocritical;
professed blind,
As if nothing had ever happened, and you never could,
Have been oh so very mean, arrogant, nosy and unkind,
PLEASE people, STOP talking to me about Tiger Woods!!!

Want more Tiger Wood entertainment?

Go to my Top 10 Tiger Wood Retorts

____________________________________, my pen is a mighty sword!

Liked this article? Then you may also like:

Serious Satellite Radio is Sirius' Starmate 5 by callmefoxxy
"Listen to what you want, when you want, wherever you are," Sirius says, but that's not quite true here in Canada, eh. Read my full review of Sirius' Starmate 5 (ST5C) Plug & Play Satellite Radio with...

Is Love The Question Or The Answer? by callmefoxxy
Is love the question or the answer? Is love today's word for sex, Or a simple affair of the heart? Does it mend wounds, Or tear relationships apart? Can it stir a man's desire, Or only set his soul on fire, All this I ask.

My Extended Stay by callmefoxxy
An extended stay is what I plan as one of Hubpages' Hubbers. Yep, I'm looking forward to throwing the doors of this huge, cyber hotel suite wide open to allow all my new "hub" friends in to share my my eclectic musings.

More by this Author

  • You'll Laugh So Hard 3!

    Continuing on the great theme of fun and laughter, Part 3 of my You'll Laugh So Hard! series has plenty more hilarious side-splits, witty comedy, big laughs and humorous fun in the form of funny pictures, funny videos,...

  • You'll Laugh So Hard 1!

    Funny jokes, pictures, and videos. I really love laughing, don't you! It feels so good to laugh. Come on, laugh with me, hahaha, you know you want to. I know you will when you see all the funny pictures, videos, and...

  • Sample Letters to Send to Debt Collection Agents

    Need a sample of a letter you can send to a collection agency to tell them to stop harassing you, but don’t know what to write? Need a sample letter to help you put it together? Read this article about dealing...

Comments 15 comments

Chris Eddy111 profile image

Chris Eddy111 6 years ago from Ontario, Canada

Damn girl, that's funny and soooooo good. Don't talk to me 'bout Tiger Woods.....hahaha.

Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago

Great poem. Great thoughts. Great hub! We have an injustice system that's been screwing over people for what now, going on 300 years and really more. Yet Tiger is what they want to concentrate on. These press freaks and other pious jackasses ought to google- "the falsely imprisoned". They will never run out of material- they absolutely will never run out! Like they give a flip about real morality. Oh they make me so mad I could fly off a handle. Where the hell is my handle?

callmefoxxy profile image

callmefoxxy 6 years ago Author

@Chris Eddy111, LOL, thanks gurl! I just HAD to do it, arrrggghhh!, LOL.

@ Micky Dee, thank you. That's exactly what this poem is supposed to get across, along with much humour. There are sooo much more important and meaningful things out there to talk about, like... (chuckle) where to find your handle, heheheeeee.

callmefoxxy, my pen is a mighty sword!

debt-into-wealth profile image

debt-into-wealth 6 years ago

Good stuff...had me choking on my coffee!

I'm with Micky, it's such a waste focusing on this guy with the other problems in the world. I for one will be cheering when he kicks ass next tourney, and everyone forgets this nonsense

Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago

Hey Debt-into-wealth!Thanks for the Amen on that. I think I'll go over and see what you have over at your place. I've got to tell you though- your name doesn't imply much fun. Well if you have truth you'll win me over. You ladies wait right here. I'll be back before you know I've been here (unless you're sitting on top of your computer).

Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago

Whasappening? Well I miss you ladies so I'm over here knocking on the door. Ya'll take care now!

callmefoxxy profile image

callmefoxxy 6 years ago Author

@debt-into-wealth. Hi, nice to have you stop in. Glad I was able to induce a smile, but oops for the choking, lol. Yes, I too hope he kicks ass. I want to watch and snort as those same advertisers who dropped him line up to kiss his... feet, once again. Hehehe (wink)

@Micky Dee. Whatcha doing? Been a bit busy re-learning all about this web stuff, and I bet we miss you more! :P You know you're always welcome, come in, come in... We'll be popping in to your place next any day now.

callmefoxxy, my pen is a mighty sword!

Chris Eddy111 profile image

Chris Eddy111 6 years ago from Ontario, Canada

Hi callmefoxxy, Micky Dee. Hey, I've been away from my computer this week so that's why it's been so quiet. I wanted to say, "I'M BACK". I know you missed me.

Stop talking 'bout Tiger Woods eh, lol.

Pollyannalana profile image

Pollyannalana 6 years ago from US

I'm sure it won't soon be forgotten by his family, it's not like it was a fling or two. If I were his wife, Id clean him out now and never look back.

profile image

da_bizkid 6 years ago

finally someone see what i see now that the masters is starting more more more more tiger mania media uggggh let the man breathe i say he's in the dog house anyway.

Property-Invest profile image

Property-Invest 6 years ago from London

Great hub! I too am fed up with people being Tiger Trigger Happy. Let him who is without sin, cast the first stone!

dannywoodpx profile image

dannywoodpx 6 years ago from Portugal

yeah...poor Tiger...

kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

callmefoxxy, Yes, you said it! Enough is enough. I do wish the media would stop kicking a celebrity when he or she is down. They wouldnt like that if 'we' did that to them! Voted up and away! Great read, foxxy. And I am now HONORED to be a Follower. Sincerely, Kenneth Avery, from a rural town, Hamilton, in northwest Alabama that looks like Mayberry on the Andy Griffith Show. Peace and keep up the great work.

callmefoxxy profile image

callmefoxxy 5 years ago Author

Hi, Thanks for the comments everyone.

Hello kenneth avery. I'm honoured that you became a foxxy follower (smile). Andy Griffith is one of my favourite old-time shows (how'd you know that?)... guess I'll have to visit Hamilton, Alabama one of these days.

kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

Hello, callmefoxxy! You are very welcome! And IM glad that you like Andy. And I Personally Invite YOU to Follow me and My Takes on Life. If you should desire. I promise you will NOT be bored. Take care. Kenneth

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.

    Click to Rate This Article