My Top 10 Tiger Woods Retorts

Well, if it wasn't enough that I had to listen to the tv this morning blathering on about Tiger Woods (you bet I changed that channel quicker than you can say in a pigs eye), which immediately prompted my writing the poem Stop Talking about Tiger Woods today, no, one of my favourite, chat friends had go bring up the flipping subject too!

Well you guessed it, not thirty seconds into him recounting the juicy details with relish, I flew right off the handle, (picture me doing that eh) and cut him off with one of my heavily sarcastic, intentionally simple comeback lines.

Thankfully, that wisecrack was enough to shut him up ( surprised the heck out of him too I'm sure).

Fortunately (because I really didn't want him to think I was being rude; well I wasn't, I was just being derisive (says I with a minx twinkle in my eye)), aside from being surprised and quieted, he also laughed his arse off after a moment (guess my quip took a moment to sink in) and asked me for more quips.

So here they are:

#10) Oh imagine that, he’s the very first person EVER to do that!

#9) What, all of a sudden he’s NOT the greatest golfer ever?!

#8) Ha! Don’t tell me he was ACTUALLY your role-model?

#7) Would you leave the man and his family alone P U L E E Z E!

#6) Um, how IMPORTANT is the Tiger thing next to say, world hunger?

#5) Pick a topic... any topic... EXCEPT the Tiger Woods topic!

#4) Let he who is perfect SLICE the first balls!

#3) Get a life, and STOP sticking your nose into his!

#2) Can’t we ALL just get along?

And drumroll...

#1) I don’t care, so stop telling me about it!

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callmefoxxy.com, my pen is a mighty sword!

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