The Many Haircuts of Jon Bon Jovi (John Francis Bongiovi)

Long before he became the seemingly immortal pop/rock icon we all know as Jon Bon Jovi, John Francis Bongiovi may or may not have aspired to a career in hair design. Numerous trips to the 'beauty salon' with his mother and his many aunts seemed to have a lasting impact on his choice of vocation. Even as he climbed the charts with hits such as Runaway and Runaway Remixed, he spent uncounted hours designing and implementing haircuts that would change the coiffing landscape of Rock and Roll.

Long-haired sissified flyaway hairdos were de rigeur at rock concerts of the 1980's. Stadium concerts actually became a necessity because all that hair spray in an enclosed arena proved to be a significant fire hazard. Bands such as AD/DC, Twisted Sister, and Mötley Crüe struggled for recognition, but their inability to play their instruments better than junior high school pep bands meant that they would need a 'hook' in order to finally get that 'big break'. The tried biting heads off helpless animals. They experimented with reading Robert Frost poetry on stage. They took a guitar lesson. Nothing seemed to help. Eventually they turned to Jon Bon Jovi as a last resort. JBJ was experiencing wild success at shopping mall openings and state fairs. Bon Jovi gladly shared his hair cutting secrets with his fellow rockers. He introduced them to the wonders of teasing, perming, and streaking. He convinced life-long brunettes to go blonde. He explained how to perform gymnastic leaps off the amplifier stacks without getting ones bangs tangled in the cabling. The rest is history, except for Brett Michaels, who thinks he is fooling someone with his bandanna and extensions.

Perhaps in rebellion to the 80's big hair bands, rock combos of the 1990's looked to other haircare alternatives. Fans grew tired of long flowing locks on ostensibly male guitarists and drummers. The cost of Aqua Net consumed much of the profit generated by big hair world tours.

Jon Bon Jovi would not be deterred. He considered his options. He schemed and calculated. He mixed colorants in his palatial basement in Deal, New Jersey. He moonlighted at barber colleges in Trenton. Unsubstantiated rumors persist: perhaps JBJ even obtained a hair dresser's license and actually practiced his trade at a Weehawken strip mall.

Bon Jovi's diligence eventually paid off. He finally settled on a hair presentation strategy that would become wildly popular in the Pacific Northwest and would come to be known as grunge. He simply instructed his proteges to perform no hair care whatsoever. He eschewed all manner of pomades, potions, and perms. Grunge hairstyles led to grunge clothing, which also looked like it needed a trip through the washer and dryer. Once again, John Francis Bongiovi had saved rock and Roll from itself.

Rock and Roll may owe a debt of gratitude to the hair cutting skills of Jon Bon Jovi.

Note: Regardless of the career arc experienced by John Francis Bongiovi, he has in no way been responsible for the many hair styles of Justin Bieber, Rod Stewart, or Prince. Even Jersey boys have some standards.