Ten Ways Indicating That You're Either the Black Sheep or Odd One in Your Family

There are families who believe in and require that each family member have the same or similar values.Dissension or other forms of individual expression is discouraged in such families.Family members who refuse to conform are deemed odd or worse.
There are families who believe in and require that each family member have the same or similar values.Dissension or other forms of individual expression is discouraged in such families.Family members who refuse to conform are deemed odd or worse.
There are family members who conform to their particular family construct whatever THAT may be.They are characteristically unobtrusive and are well-behaved.Family members LOVE to be around such people.
There are family members who conform to their particular family construct whatever THAT may be.They are characteristically unobtrusive and are well-behaved.Family members LOVE to be around such people.
Then there are those who refuse to conform to their particular family construct.They go THEIR own way& do THEIR own thing, oftentimes to the UTTER CONSTERNATION of other family members.They are the BANE of their particular families.
Then there are those who refuse to conform to their particular family construct.They go THEIR own way& do THEIR own thing, oftentimes to the UTTER CONSTERNATION of other family members.They are the BANE of their particular families.
So what? You are a strong individualist with a mind of his/her own.However your family sees you QUITE differently. You know that you are THE ODD ONE or BLACK SHEEP of your family when the following factors are present. They include:
So what? You are a strong individualist with a mind of his/her own.However your family sees you QUITE differently. You know that you are THE ODD ONE or BLACK SHEEP of your family when the following factors are present. They include:
As a child, you were considered to be hardheaded and/or otherwise uncontrollable. This means that you had a strong will and DID NOT BLINDLY and/or FOLLOW directives because family members said that you should. You had YOUR OWN MIND very young.
As a child, you were considered to be hardheaded and/or otherwise uncontrollable. This means that you had a strong will and DID NOT BLINDLY and/or FOLLOW directives because family members said that you should. You had YOUR OWN MIND very young.
Oh my God, you look at your family and there is NO COMMONALITY whatsoever. Oh yes, you KNOW that you were definitely born in the WRONG family.
Oh my God, you look at your family and there is NO COMMONALITY whatsoever. Oh yes, you KNOW that you were definitely born in the WRONG family.
You can create, do and think of concepts and things that your family could NEVER conceive of.Your family considers you quite THE ODDITY as they know that YOU did not inherit or learn these things from THEM.
You can create, do and think of concepts and things that your family could NEVER conceive of.Your family considers you quite THE ODDITY as they know that YOU did not inherit or learn these things from THEM.
Being MISUNDERSTOOD by family members no matter HOW hard you try to have them understand you or trying to meet them halfway. Well, such is life. You cannot please everyone.
Being MISUNDERSTOOD by family members no matter HOW hard you try to have them understand you or trying to meet them halfway. Well, such is life. You cannot please everyone.
Being the REBEL.While many of your family members look askance at you, there are OTHERS who admire and applaud your fierceness and gumption.They think at least SOMEONE possess FEARLESSNESS to BE his/her OWN person, not ANOTHER  FAMILY REPLICA.
Being the REBEL.While many of your family members look askance at you, there are OTHERS who admire and applaud your fierceness and gumption.They think at least SOMEONE possess FEARLESSNESS to BE his/her OWN person, not ANOTHER FAMILY REPLICA.

Oh No, What is He/She Doing Here! Oh $%^&*$!

Oh the family! Family means love and togetherness. Family also represent unity and harmony. Sister Sledge have a song regarding the strength of the family. This is the outer appearance of family. However, there is the subconscious dynamics of family life. Oh, yes, Virginia, families have dynamics including infighting, upmanship, and game playing.

There are many families which make cliques and the mean girl club seem like church choirs! The rule of such families are that we must have similar outlooks, beliefs, and goals-and if you do not- well, you are S-T-R-A-N-G-E or worse, oh dear! Okay, here is my take on the ten ways to ascertain that you are THE ODD ONE or BLACK SHEEP in your respective families! The countdown!

(1) As a child, you were often considered "difficult", "uncontrollable", and "hardheaded". You were definitely not the type of child who would acquiesce to authority and/or to do things because it was expected. You also were of the opinion that just because a person was your parent and/or another adult did not mean that they necessarily knew best! You questioned authority from a young age!

(2) Subconsciously, you knew that you were BORN into the WRONG family. Have you ever felt that you and your family members, both immediate and extended, were completely OUT OF SYNC. Oh my God, you think," Why was I born into this family-what have I done in a PAST LIFE! You take literally the definition that family is an accident of birth. You view your family as a learning experience and a karmic lesson. As a child and teenager, you endured their psychosocial dynamics and wish for the day that you can leave ! As an adult, you ONLY see them when necessary, if AT ALL!

(3) You can conceive of and do things that your family would NEVER think of in a million years. They often wonder HOW can he/she think of this-IN THIS FAMILY, we are DEFINITELY not like this at all! Where did he/she get THOSE ideas-not from US, no sirreeee!

(4) You were and/or are constantly WARNED not to EMBARRASS the family. However, YOU do not care! You have and will always be YOURSELF above anything else! Everything and everyone else be damned!

(5) You often have very different aspirations than that of your family members. For example, if you are a male in a blue-collar family where the likelihood of being an artist and/or ballet dancer was totally unheard of-guess what, you are going to take this route! Another example, if you are a female in a professional, white collar family where all the females are professionals, you decided that you are going to be an exotic dancer or a welder! You take being different to a whole new level!

(6) You often choose a radically different spiritual and lifestyle path than that of your family members. If your family is traditionally Christian, you will choose a spiritual/ethical path as divergently different as possible whether it is New Age, metaphysical, atheist, and/or humanist! You are not the type of person who blindly follow familial paths!

(7) Your family will NEVER understand nor comprehend YOU no matter how hard you try! So forget about it and move on!

(8) You are ALWAYS saying things and expressing opinions which often leaves your family dismayed, nonplussed, and confused! They are always wondering what will come out of your mouth! They wish that you would go along and agree! Your thought on the matter, " No way in HELL!"

(9) Your family merely TOLERATE you! Your relationship with your family members can be described as cordial at best. Their thought is that since you are family, you are somewhat included in their lives!

(10) You are seen as the REBEL and iconoclast to those family members who yearn to rebel against familial strictures! In fact, you are THEIR role model! These family members thank God that they have YOU as a family member! You have the BALLS that the other more sedate and amoebic family members DO NOT HAVE!

Now, you have my synopsis of the ten things that indicate that you were either the black sheep or the odd person out in your families! If you are such a person, rejoice in your uniqueness! Be proud and walk tall! Peace!


© 2011 Grace Marguerite Williams

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Comments 16 comments

thir3dpart 5 years ago

I can relate to this very well, always having been somewhat militant and rebellious.I always walked to the beat of a different drum and am the only one in the family who is of a different political party.Always did my own thing and never wanted to be part of the crowd.I once told my mom that I thought I was born from another planet.Boy did she ever think I was crazed!Thanks for an enlightening article.


Peanutritious profile image

Peanutritious 5 years ago from Cheshire, UK

Ha ha this is me down to a T. I was considered 'difficult' as I became a vegetarian at 10 (I've never ever gone back on this and i'm now 39)! I always dressed, had my hair etc how I wanted it (which certainly didn't conform to most people's idea of 'normal')I chose to Travel and Teach. My family were baffled why I didn't want to go into a high earning career like sales as my Dad and Brother's had. They didn't get the 'job as a vocation' thing. I've always felt like the black sheep. I know my family love me but they definitely don't 'get' me. Excellent hub. Voted up and interesting.


gmwilliams profile image

gmwilliams 5 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York Author

Thank you thir3dpart and peanutritious: Thank you for your wondrous and insightful response. I greatly appreciate your input! I, too, am considered the odd person out in my family because of my spiritual viewpoint. My family background is traditional Christian in outlook. My paternal family is Roman Catholic and my maternal family is even more religious- pure fundamentalist Baptist!

I attended Catholic schools all my life. I know that I felt different! I felt that Roman Catholicism is oppressive and restrictive! As you know, I rebelled! Besides that, in my family, especially extended, I was considered the "hardheaded one". I simply refused to adhere to the old ways of doing things.

I felt entirely different from my family. I was curious and unconventional in ways that they were not. They accepted things as they were while I saw the inanity of it all! I was quite a rebellious teen- I refused to believe in any type of traditional religion. In addition to that, I become a feminist which my parents clearly do not understand. I started to like cuisine and foods which were different than that of my parents! They just could not fathom me!

However, I kept on believing what I wanted to! My family, especially extended, tried to make me "conform" which I refused to do! I was quite an argumentative fighter- I was so fierce that they backed down and eventually respected my opinions and beliefs! Of all my family members, I am the only person who does not subscribe to any traditional religious philosophy- I classify myself as a New Age Spiritualist!


Tracy Lynn Conway profile image

Tracy Lynn Conway 5 years ago from Virginia, USA

I am so glad that you have written on this topic! I often hear people express how grateful they are to their family on one end of the spectrum or of families that are estranged on the other, but not often about this aspect of just not fitting in. There does appear to be an unsaid acceptance of values and rules within families, and if you don't go along with that can feel excluded.


Rodeo Queen profile image

Rodeo Queen 5 years ago

OMG I'm the black sheep. LOL AND DANG PROUD OF IT!I wasn't one that after high school, got married in the temple(mormon) and had tons of kids. Funny you brought up a welder because that's what I do! I'm the complete opposite from them. I will speak my mind and if they don't like it, Oh well! I got my last name tattooed on my arm and my nana(gma) told me that it was a disgrace to the family. Funny how people like to judge!


Efficient Admin profile image

Efficient Admin 4 years ago from Charlotte, NC

1-Check

2-Check

4-Check

5-Check

I was the least favored child as well. Oh well that's the way it rolls! Fortunately I get to be around many people who like being around me.


gmwilliams profile image

gmwilliams 4 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York Author

The real definition of family is those who love, respect, encourage, and nurture you. It does not necessarily mean blood family. Oftentimes, the blood family has a certain agenda in and consensus in mind. Those who do not conform to the familial consensus at hand are oftentimes ostracized in one form or another. Families have their "ins" and "outs", "favorites" and "unfavorites". In other words, things are not what they always seem to be. I also did a hub on the unfavored child in the family, check it out!


caliendo 3 years ago

Yeah that truth and I can't say anything else.


LR 2 years ago

No one can trust their families. Instead, they disrespect them.


gmwilliams profile image

gmwilliams 2 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York Author

LR, good point made, thank you for stopping by!


FirstStepsFitness profile image

FirstStepsFitness 2 years ago

Great Hub .......Well written :) Signed Black Sheep :)


gmwilliams profile image

gmwilliams 2 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York Author

Thank you for responding. It is greatly appreciated in kind.


Kcormia 2 years ago

This is perfect. I never felt that I fit into my parents. My two sisters are favored and considered "angels", whereas I am the bad child. I try to impress them so hard but nothing seems to work. They do not understand me and in return I do not understand them. They all believe in one thing, I on the other hand, was never able to believe no matter how hard I tried. This definitely makes me feel a lot better knowing I'm not the only one.


Ibby 18 months ago

I've been a black sheep all my life but now at 56, I am absolutely alone. This is not a good place to be.


gmwilliams profile image

gmwilliams 18 months ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York Author

Now Ibby, there is nothing wrong with being different(in a good way of course). All you have to do is to find likeminded people.


Cerridwen 14 months ago

This is totally me. I'm the youngest and favorite child actually. In my family however the favorite is the most scrutinized. We're not treated better or given more, just watched closer and I worry people more when I "step out of line".

My family is very well known so everywhere I go there's someone familiar with me and more than willing to inform my parents of what I'm doing or saying. People working on my house report to Dad, not me.

I'm 36. I'm Wiccan. I'm democrat libertarian. I'm the creative one in the family. All my talents are impractical and creative, so I'm not good at anything useful and any career choices scare the crap out of people. I love science and ancient history. I'm not married and have no intentions to ever marry. I would prefer to adopt rather than have children of my own.

My family is the exact opposite. They are strict Catholic, highly conservative, and republican. They are all married with children. Too much creativity scares them. Not everyone, but many members of my family are creationist something my science driven brain can't comprehend.

You should see them if I try to make a decision or a mistake. You'd think I triggered Armageddon. I've been informed I'm not allowed to make decisions unless I get Dad's permission at least until I'm married. Again, I'm 35 with no intention of marrying.

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