Parenting 101: Praise Them Kids!

Let the words fall where they may as I write, but let them fall. Instead of making a mysterious segue into the topic of gratitude as it relates to parenting with misdirection, I will come out and say it from the very beginning. God has blessed me with a gift to write, and my gratitude knows no bounds to the person who made it possible. In this article, I am going to give thanks for the gift of writing bestowed upon me by sharing the praise method my mother used to lift my ego to its proper place.

It first started with Mother, Catherine.

As a normal small child, there was nothing that stood out about me from other little boys, I thought, that would make me exceptional. Mother thought differently because I was her little boy.

Mother told me that I was smart.

Each time something would go wrong, she would say, “You are too smart to be acting like that!”

It did not matter what it was.

“What? You broke your arm? You are too smart to be doing something like that!” That didn’t actually happen. I am trying to make a point. Mother told me I was intelligent.

So, at a young age, my mother put it in my head that I was an exceptional child and should excel in all things. She did this to a fault. I eventually learned that Mother was crazy and that I was average at best!

However, my mother did something for me that all parents should do for their children. The biggest cheerleader I had was Mother. No matter how hard the task or how grim the situation, Mother encouraged me to act with the intention of success.

Because of the confidence Mother placed in my abilities to succeed at the tasks placed before me, I became what she described.

So I say it long and loud. My mother of me was proud!

What a gift of love gave this woman me to pump my little boy-heart full of confidence. Being a single parent for many years, Mother gave me the best gift of her support and encouragement which helped me to overcome trial after trial and meet the emotional dangers of life.

With Mother’s cheerleading, school became the proving ground. There, I found out that others were smart too. I fell behind and made horrible grades. Mother was there to course-correct me with, “You are too smart to be failing school. You are my son, and you can succeed.”

Mother came from a good place that happens to be important for any child’s ego. In a KidsHeatlh.org article, it states,

When children feel good about themselves, it sets them up for success — in everything from school to friendships. Positive feelings like self-acceptance or self-confidence help kids try new challenges, cope with mistakes, and try again. Taking pride in their abilities and accomplishments helps kids do their best (Developing Your Child's Self-Esteem).

Mother understood the psychology of pushing me to develop talents—not only the ones that come naturally, but those I could develop with practice. Her words of encouragement allowed me to deal with bullying, racism, test-taking, peer pressure and death.

My Seventh Grade English teacher instructed our class to complete a play based on The Outsiders by S. E. Hinton. We read the book and watched the movie. We even wrote our own stories about it. In connection with all of those things, I wrote a report about the book. The English teacher took my report and praised it as exceptional. In the back of my mind, her words affirmed my mother’s words. “You are smart. You can write. Of course, you can. You are MY son.”

As I grew, I understood what my mother had done. When I heard praise, it reinforced what I learned at home. Why was I a good boy? Catherine is my mother is why! Why do I believe my writings are important enough to share with others? Because I am smart?

So, gratitude to my mother for being my confidence to do any good thing that of which I could think. In my mind, her voice always helped me make the next decision until her voice became my voice.

As a man, the voice that encourages my imagination is my own and I find inspiration in the words I write, whether good or bad. I count it all a lesson learned because for years my mother laid the foundation that I am good and smart. Did I falter, ever? Yes. Many times, but I recover with the mantra that I am smart!

Did my ego explode to larger sizes than it should have? Yes. That is the good thing about life. Mother was there to build me up and life had the task of sizing me down to a happy truth.

Am I smart. Yes, but others I know are smarter. Am I good? Yes, but others are better. Do I still think I am great? Yes, that is why I write. I write because Mother said that I am smart. Her encouragement was the catalyst for my growing confidence to do more.

Gratitude, Appreciation, and Gratefulness to my mother for giving me a source of confidence that springs up in continuous renewal to support my ambitions to write. Gratitude to God for placing me in her life to love and grow.

What is it that you are grateful for this year? What can you say is the source of your desire to do well?