i'm having a major crisis. my father's birthday is tomorrow. he'll be 60. plus father's day is right around the corner. the problem is that last christmas my sister and i went together and hunted through several jewelry shops before we finally found one that would special order the watch he has wanted for a long time. we paid almost a hundred each for it. right now my father is off work recovering from a hip replacement. so in order to still get his beer he took that special watch to the pawn shop and got a $40 loan on it. that was such a special gift and it upsets me and my sister that he would do that just to keep drinking. i mean, why not pawn the tv or his movies? i'm sure he had plenty of options but quickly decided on that special gift. so i don't know what to do for his birthday or father's day. any suggestions?
The thing with people who have a drinking problem is that it is all that matters to them. I am the daughter of an alcoholic as well. With this disease there is nothing more important than his drug (alcohol).
But by giving him more gifts that he can just turn around and pawn is just enabling him. Plus it can't feel good to you.
I suggest making him a gift. You take some pictures from your childhood and make him a "Fathers Day" Memory Book or something like that. Often the handmade gifts are more special. You could also take him out to dinner.
thanks for the advice wendy. i still wonder why he choose to pawn the watch and not something else. he had plenty of other options. i've even been paying his bills for him while he's off work. so the fact that he turned around and pawned that special gift rather than something else...i'm just not sure i want to get him anything. but if taking him to dinner is what you suggest than i guess maybe i can do that.
give him a present that you made yourself and not just buy from those in the stores. Something that you made has heavy deep memories.
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