Scattered thoughts

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   michelelavellposted 13 years ago

   Scattered thoughts
   
   Painful memories of he that marred me....
   He ensnared  the marrow of my soul and ate it....
   Slathering over the last bits of emotion I had left
   Sopping up my blood with his needs
   He took everything from me
   Raped me
   Left me for dead
   If I tried to break free
   He did it again
   Only harder....
   Made me feel like I was worthless
   He loves me still
   
   I am plunging in the abyss of my own condemnation
   I will never be worthy of happiness and fulfillment...
   I will be alone for no one will have me
   I have been marked
   Diseased
   Scarred with the stigmata of men
   
   Today I give my life back
   To whomever had given it to me
   I hope it will be better put to use elsewhere
   I renounce my privilege to breathe
   No longer allow me to squander time
   that someone else could use....
   
   Let me fade away....
   
   Quietly.....
   
   
   
   
   As if I never even existed

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      Hiredpunposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      This is dark but well done. I hope this piece provides some catharsis.

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      Kim Lynnposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Disturbing, but true. Life can be brutal, for many women and men. I hope you find solace in your writing. I think most of us do. Thanks for sharing:)

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   Dame Scribeposted 13 years ago

   This would make a wonderful hub. We are not alone either when it comes to falling into despair. It will pass and the sun will shine again.

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      sofsposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      michelelavell That is very poignant, But life doesn't end there, It is yours to make it what you want it to be. Rise up now to convert your pain to art . Go on make a hub; that others will read and applaud. You may be thinking what do you know? I know one thing , if you decide to make something of your life today you can... there is no stopping you!! My Heart goes out to you, My best wishes for a happier more fulfilled life!! God bless!

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         poetvixposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Michelelavell  my heart bleeds for you.  You have suffered a horrible violation of so much more than the pysical.  However, Dame and Sofs make good points.  Nothing is over, your life is not over.  You can and will go on.  This is in no way your fault.  You are a survivor.  You are strong though you may not feel that way.  The fact that you could write this proves your strength as I have no doubt you had to relive it.
         Rise and hold your head high.  Become a glowing example that you can not only survive but become stronger and grow.  Know that you are not alone.  One in three girls, mind you girls, not women are sexually assaulted before reaching adulthood.  Many feel shame but feelings are not logical.  You have nothing to be ashamed of.  The monster you wrote of does.
         May peace come to you.  God bless you and thank you for having the courage to write this.

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   ahorsebackposted 13 years ago

   Something that has always enraged me as a man,is in the violence and control a woman will endure ,some in one night and some for a life sentence , all of it unnessesary! Why?  because  hearts have something to prove? Martyrs something to suffer?  Men of this   breed , do not deserve life. Give your soul to your writing ......

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      sofsposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      We would like to see more such men!!

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