Coping With Grief

 There are many theories about the stages and cycles of grief.  For each person their journey is unique.  However differently each person reacts to grief there are some distictly similar stages that each person goes through. 

Cycles of Grief

• shock
• denial
• anger
• bargaining
• depression
• testing (seeking realistic solutions)
• acceptance.

Everyone needs to go through these stages.  It is natural and it is healthy.  Do not try to rush each stage, it will only lead to more depression and grief.  If you are grieving - give yourself time to heal.  Believe me, there is a dya when the pain begins to lessen and you can begin to accept having lost someone close to your heart.

It's important that you take steps to learn how to cope with your grief. No one can go it alone.

• Turn to your friends and family members. They will be your biggest support system in your time of need.
• Draw comfort from your faith. At this time your faith is an important ingredient in your life. Weather you are alone or with other people it is your greatest strength.
• Join a support group. It is a tremendous help to talk to others who are going through or have gone through the same thing as you.
• Take care of yourself. It will not do you or anyone else any good if you stop eating, become ill and are unable to function.
• Face your feelings. There is nothing wrong with the way you feel. Give yourself permission to grieve and get on with the healing.
• Express your feelings. Express them creatively by writing your memories in a journal, making a scrapbook depicting happy memories together or make a photo album including pictures of you and your lost loved one.
• DO NOT let anyone tell you how to feel or how long to grieve. For each person the intensity of loss is different. There is no limit to how long it takes each individual to complete the grieving cycle. However, if it does go on for an over extended period of time, if you can't move on with your life, if you don't let people into your life, it can become dangerous. Which leads me to...
• Talk to a therapist or grief counselor.

 Along with all of the emotional symptoms there are physical sytems to grief. 

• fatique
• nausea
• weight gain
• or weight loss
• aches
• pains
• lowered immunity
• insomnia

If these symptoms go on for an extended period of time please seek help from a grief counselor or visist your doctor.  You can make yourself seriously physically ill if it goes on too long.

• I'm Gone now, but I'm still very near.
  Death can never separate us.
  Each time you feel a gentle breeze,
  It's my hand caressing your face.
  Each time the wind blows,
  It carries my voice whispering your name.
  When the wind blows your hair ever so slightly,
  Think of it as me pushing a few stray hairs back in place.
  When you feel a few raindrops fall on your face,
  It's me placing soft kisses.
  At night look up in the sky and see the stars shining so brightly.
  I'm one of those stars and I'm winking at you and smiling with delight.
  For never forget you're the apple of my eye. - Mary M. Green

• No one ever really dies as long as they took the time to leave us with fond memories. - Chris Sorensen

• Those we love don't go away, they walk beside us every day, unseen, unheard, but always near, still loved, still missed and very dear. - Unknown