Dealing With Loneliness
Loneliness is some of the greatest pain that a human being can undergo. Ironically, it seems that the more people that are born into this world, and the more connected we become, still the more loneliness afflicts us. Though many of us spend each and every day surrounded by people (generally annoying people, let's face it), a hollow gnawing feeling of loneliness persists, occasionally flaring up into a void in which it is easy to become lost. The world seems dark and empty, and it seems as if just existing is a painful experience.
Many loneliness advice pages will tell you to find the positive aspects of being alone. They will tell you to embrace being by yourself, being company for yourself, learning to find yourself as your own best friend, your own lover, your own confidant. That's not bad advice at all, and most of us, especially single people, experience days when being alone is a positive thing. Coming home and being able to relax as one wishes without having to worry about the needs of others. Being able to enjoy a good book or movie uninterrupted, being able to sit alone and think. These are all positive things, but they're not why you're here.
I'm also not going to tell you to find a hobby, or join an interest group, as a human being who has managed to manipulate a search engine well enough to arrive here, I will assume that the obvious answers have already occurred to you. Perhaps you've already picked up a hobby and joined an interest group, and perhaps you still feel alone, and down. Perhaps you're even in a relationship and living with someone, or married and feeling alone. Loneliness can strike anyone at any time.
It is normal to feel lonely sometimes. Everybody has days when it seems as if every single last person on the planet is a twittish deamon sent straight from hell to torment us. The general state of the world at large viewed through the lens of the news media is not a pretty place either. Indeed, on some occasions, the whole thing looks utterly, irretrievably hopeless, and you are a lost soul within it all, crying out for a home, a place where you are loved, and cared for and understood.
Here are a few suggestions that have proved useful for others in the war on loneliness (the first one is unnecessarily using dangerous media terminology for your own amusement.)
Realize That It Will Pass
Loneliness is an emotional reaction, it is not a state of being, no matter how profound it may feel, and no matter how much it hurts, it will pass. For some people, it can pass in an instant upon hearing a good joke, or perhaps it is relieved from a good night's sleep. If you are feeling lonely due to a sudden change in your life, perhaps a death of a loved one, or as the result of a move, then acknowledge to yourself that it makes sense to feel the way you do, but that things will change with time.
You Are Not Alone
It may or may not be a comfort to know that there are literally thousands of people feeling the way you do right now. You are not the only one who feels this way. This won't solve your problem of course, but it may make you feel a little bit better about it, which, oddly enough, alleviates some of the lonely feeling.
You Are Loved
The greatest tragedy about loneliness is that it often convinces us of things that are simply untrue. When feeling lonely and despairing, it is easy to believe that not only are we not loved, we were never loved, by anybody, ever, and that nobody will ever love us in the future either. The reality of the matter is that even if you don't know it, and even if you fervently believe that you are the most wretched person on the face of the earth, there is someone, more likely several someones, who do love you.
You Are Significant
You do have a purpose on this planet, and you do make a difference even if you don't know it. The smile you gave the lady on the bus, the way you held a door open for a man carrying a heavy load, the time you sat with your friend as she whined on about some love problem that she'd been whining on for weeks about. These little moments which may seem insignificant to you, can mean the world to someone else. Just because you're not the President of The USA (and be thankful you're not), it doesn't mean that you are insignificant and that nobody cares. Simply the act of releasing a bumble bee buzzing hopelessly against a window pane is enough to have made the world a better place for one of the many lives on the planet.
Laughter really is the best medicine when you're feeling sad and alone. I'm putting a few links here to various funny sites and places you can visit for a quick pick me up when you're feeling lonely.
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