Envy and Chronic Illness

Oscar Wilde once said that "to most of us the real life is the life we do not lead." Today I am going to talk about envy. Do you enjoy feeling envious? I'm sure none of us enjoy feeling envious, but I am almost sure there are times we find ourselves wishing we had what others do.

"I wish I had a body like hers." "I wish my body could do what hers does...." or you guys might say, "I wish I had a girlfriend like, her on my arm, or "I wish I had a big house like him." If you live with a chronic illness, you may say, "I wish I didn't have to take all this medicine," or "I wish I wasn't in pain all the time," or "I wish I could be out doing what they are doing."

When the realities of illness never take a break, it is easy to lament like Charlie Brown, "I got a rock." It's so easy to sit back and feel sorry for ourselves because things did not turn out quite how we had hoped.

When I was a kid watching the Peanuts Halloween special, “It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown” I sympathized with Charlie Brown. In the program, each child would approach a front door and scream out “Trick-or-Treat” and be given candy. Out in the street they would then stand and compare what they had received, but poor Charlie Brown always came up empty of sweets. He would say, “I got a rock.” This disappointment increased from house to house as each time he repeated, "I got a rock." Viewers worldwide felt so sorry for Charlie Brown when the show first aired that candy was mailed in for him.

Managing not only your illness, but the side effects, treatments, infections, secondary illnesses and more can quickly make it feel like God handed you a bag of rocks. Surprisingly, I have adapted over the years and learned to be content in circumstances I never thought I could find joy in. I've stopped comparing what’s in my bag of life with what those around me are getting out of life. I have learned to find joy by living the inspired life!

“Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass…It’s about learning to dance in the rain,” wrote Vivian Greene.

There is a quiet conviction that is required from someone with a chronic condition to live gracefully, without getting bitter. For the last 18 years I have battled one illness after another, until I was finally diagnosed with lupus 4 years ago. Every day I fight fatigue, pain. There were even times that I seriously thought about death. Seeking help from a Psychiatrist helped with that. Throughout the last few years I have found alternative remedies that helped with my illness. It is a trial and error process, but I have selected a few that I use on a daily basis. Although I haven’t stopped trying alternative therapies, I am finally accepting the possibility that I may never get as well as I was in my twenties.

According to Bernhard, “Envy is a poison, crowding out any chance of feeling peaceful and serene in the mind.”

After feeling envious, we need to return to our lives with enthusiasm. While we may not be able to do what others do or have what they have, our own lives are filled with wonderful experiences that can make us rich and able people., No matter who you are, what you own, how you live, where you live, each of us is living a very important life, complete with pain, memories and pleasure. So respect yourself and this life that you are living. Concentrate on all its joys and treasures that your life offers you on a daily basis.