Assertiveness Test - Rate Yourself on Assertiveness

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What to Do When Conflict Happens

Do you say "yes" when you mean "no"? Do you keep your opinions to yourself for fear of upsetting or starting an argument with others? Find out if you stand up for yourself as much as you should with this test.

Being assertiveness is being able to communicate one's own thoughts, opinions and wishes in a clear, direct and non-aggressive way.

This Assertiveness Test determines whether a lack of assertiveness skills may be keeping you from fulfilling your potential and reaching your goals. Please examine the following statements and indicate how often or to what degree you agree with the statement.

Rate yourself from 1-10 on the following question, with 1 being low and 10 being high. For example: “I let others tell me what to do.” If you never let others boss you around, give yourself a 10. If you let others tell you what to do about half the time, give yourself a 5.

1. I often have a difficult time saying NO.

2. I often let people take advantage of me.

3. I often hesitate in expressing my opinion.

4. Talking to people of higher authority makes me feel anxious, nervous or uncertain of myself.

5. I often feel lack of confidence.

6. I don’t express my opinions for fear that others in the group disagree with me.

7. I often don’t know what to say to attractive persons of the opposite sex.

8. I often hesitate to make or accept dates because I am afraid.

9. I find it hard to tell someone that I have romantic feelings for him or her.

10. I avoid confronting other people when they hurt me.

11. I avoid dealing with difficult situations that involve confrontation.

12. If a close and respected relative is annoying me, I smother my feelings rather than express my annoyance.

13. I avoid asking questions for fear of saying something stupid.

14. I usually avoid an argument, I am afraid that I will get so upset, I will shiver.

15. I find it hard to take a compliment.

16. I prefer not to criticize others, even if I am certain that they are wrong.

17. When I accomplish something important, I hide it from others so I won’t feel embarrassed.

18. When the food served at the restaurant is not done to my satisfaction, I will not send it back. I either just eat it or leave it.

19. If a salesperson has gone to considerable trouble to show me merchandise that is not quit suitable, I have a difficult time saying No.

20. I often avoid returning merchandise because I am afraid and embarrassed.

21. I avoid arguing over prices with clerks and sales people.

22. I am not comfortable asking my boss for a raise, even if I think I deserve it.

23. I feel threatened when dealing with assertive person.

24. Opinionated people make me feel uncomfortable.

25. I put others need ahead of my own.

If you found yourself answering more than 15 of the above questions with a low number, it is time to work on your assertiveness.

In the next article below, I talk about how to be assertive without being aggressive, the differences between the two.

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Comments 12 comments

Ingenira profile image

Ingenira 5 years ago Author

Thanks, carrie. Appreciate your comment. :)

Hope you are doing well.


Ingenira profile image

Ingenira 5 years ago Author

Thanks Kim.


carrie450 profile image

carrie450 5 years ago from Winnipeg, Canada

I can see that I'll have to practice being more assertive

Ingenira. A great hub! Thanks


kims3003 5 years ago

Very well thought out and written hub with lots of excellent information. Nice work.


Ingenira profile image

Ingenira 6 years ago Author

You are so funny, Money Glitch. :)

Thanks for visiting.


Money Glitch profile image

Money Glitch 6 years ago from Texas

Used to have trouble saying "No" to people, but learned to practice saying it. Now I wonder if sometimes say, "No" too often and too quickly. :0 Not really! Hehehe! :)

Still have some areas to work on in being assertive. Thanks for sharing this exercise, rating up! :)


Ingenira profile image

Ingenira 6 years ago Author

thanks, carrie. You are always so supportive. I hope to read more of your hubs too. Is the next one coming ?


carrie450 profile image

carrie450 6 years ago from Winnipeg, Canada

We can all learn something from this great hub. It's one that I will bookmark and try and read often, thanks Ingenira


Ingenira profile image

Ingenira 6 years ago Author

Minnetonka Twin, thanks for penning down your thought. Nobody is perfect, we all have something to learn and grow up on each day. Life is more interesting that way. :)


Ingenira profile image

Ingenira 6 years ago Author

anjalichugh, thanks for being the first to comment.

Maybe due to our brought up, culture and environment, maybe due to our personalities, it took me ages to learn to be assertive too. What matter most is we were there before, now we are different.


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 6 years ago from Minnesota

Thanks for writing this hub. This is something we can all get so much from. I realized I am less assertive than I thought. I have gotten better over the years but still have work to do on this.


anjalichugh profile image

anjalichugh 6 years ago from New York

I had a problem of saying 'yes' (even though reluctantly) to almost everything / everyone. It took me ages to learn to say 'No'. I wish it had come to me earlier. I believe that it is THE most important thing to able to say 'No' in today's world. Nice hub.

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