The Significance of the Non-Invitation and How and When to Crash a Party

The point of most functions, be they called parties, ceremonies or dinners is to Not Invite people. The point is to hold some 'prestigious' event and make sure that those who are Not invited know they are not invited so as to insult them.

Although one might think this mentality went out with Junior High School, it hasn’t. People will spend thousands of dollars to NOT invite people to their functions.

A perfectly suitable venue may be free to members of an organization but that does not mean functions will take place there when NON- Invitation is the goal.

Often, the event is such, one would rather clean the bathroom than go, however in a few cases one Has to Attend or else Lose Status.

In some cases, you are glad that you don't have to go. You don't like the people, the venue, it isn't convenient, and by simply not being invited, (or insuring that you are uncontactable so you can't be invited) you gain your desire.

Many insults fall flat when the recognition that you had no intention of going is revealed.

Most often, the fact you were not invited, although most of your crew was, is a precious reveal, and it will cause you to second think your involvement with the group.

There are times when although you are Not invited,you have to attend. If you don't appear, you lose status.

In many areas, whether political, professional, social, to lose status is more damaging than to lose your cell phone.

If people think you are 'some body' and respect you, for you to NOT to appear, unless you are in the hospital or out of the Country, means you are No Body.

The same people who respected you are annoyed that they wasted such an attitude on a No Body like You.

In some cases, you need to network. If you don't attend you can not make contacts.

Hence, in these rare situations, when you are Not Invited, you have to crash.

Time is significant in a Party Crash.

For some events, coming early is the key. One becomes almost the semi-official ‘Greeter’. The majority of persons who arrive after you assume you are of exalted level to be so ‘appointed’.

Of course, as soon as one is seen by the Host it is time to leave. Start to wander out, stopping to make a few good byes saying something like; “I have to go, I have another function to attend”, which lessens the status of this function.

This is usually the most effective mode of crash as long as the 'host' doesn't see you enter. If you are seen and spoken to, you need an excellent excuse why you are there.

If it is at a hotel, where there are a number of events going on concurrently, you can always laugh and smile, and claim to be in the wrong room. People will see you, maybe hear what you said.

If it isn't, if there is no way you can arrive early 'safely'... arrive late.

Arriving late is useful in that by this time the function is at mid point. One apologizes to the highest ranking guests still on the premises, (avoiding the host) saying your were at another function. This, again lowers the status of this one as you choose to go the other first.

As the host approaches, get to the door and out.

What one must never do is arrive anywhere near the time the function begins.

It is never wise to be dressed properly to a function one isn’t invited to. It is an embarrassment, as if one is begging acceptance. One should wear something almost casual, so it seems one had not actually intended to go.

For weddings, wearing a business suit is as far as ‘dressy’ one can go. One should be able to walk out of the function and onto a bus without anyone taking a double look.

Afternoon functions can be even more casual, for when people try to insult you or destroy your status by omitting you from the guest list, you retaliate by showing up in what might be considered ‘insulting’ garb.

Not that you wear rags or dirty things, just that you are totally not dressed for a party.

Your purpose is to return the insult you have been paid. You can do this in two opposite ways.

One, by making it clear to all and sundry that you have not been Invited and don’t mind a bit.

"I was so afraid Maude would invite me to that dreary function..."

Two, by Crashing the function.

If you decide to Not Attend because you have Not Been Invited, make sure everyone knows that you haven’t been invited.

Treat the function and your omission as a joke. Savor it. Make not being invited sound like a seat of honor.

If you decide to Crash, make sure you dress down so that they can talk about you; “Imagine, I didn’t invite her, I didn’t want her there, and she shows up in that old outfit!”

Make sure you tell everyone you can’t stay because you have an important function to attend, and if you get near the buffet take the most expensive items then leave, even if someone invites you to stay.

When you Crash a function and then are invited to stay, the entire purpose of your action is thwarted, so leave quickly.