Blonde moments - Just a few funnies

I’m a true blond at heart, and I know there are quite a few others out there as well.  As I get older they blond moments seem to becoming more and more frequently.   I’ve put together just a few of the better ones that could be put into words, to share.  Feel free to add your special blond moments in the comment section below.

Teresa and Jamie were in nursing class, looking at the biology book, the teacher teaching all about the kidney’s, bladders and ureters, the Human Urinary System. When the teacher pointed each organ out with her pointer, stating that there are 2 Kidney’s, 2 Ureters and 1 Bladder, Teresa excited raised her hand and yelled out loudly proclaiming that there was only 1 Ureter because that is where the baby comes from.

Jamie and Teresa were in geography class when the teacher asked the 18 year old SENIOR students how many States were there in the United States.  When one student raised their hand proclaimed “50 States”, Teresa proclaimed loudly with her hand waving in the air “NO!!!  It’s 52, we got Alaska and Hawaii now”.

Jamie has always felt that Sara has 'blond' in every bone in her body.

Jamie has been a dear friend of mine for some time and both of our youngest children were in the same grade at the same school and due to graduate in June.  My daughter Sara in her blonde moment asked Jamie “Are you gonna come to my graduation?

Jamie was purchasing a new home and as she went looking around the yard was excited to report to me that her yard was full of chickens. I didn’t think much of that comment, until about 4 months later, she had mentioned her chickens from time to time during the course of our conversations though. In the spring when she was doing some yard work, she called me to tell me that her chickens had gone wild, there were hundreds of them! I was puzzled, I asked her if she was going to try and catch them and start collecting the eggs. She replied “Ummm Susie, these are the ‘chickens’ that are plants.” as she loudly began to laugh at my blond moment.

Suzanne is truly her mother's daughter!

We have had lots of birthday parties as you can imagine, with 5 kids it seems there is always a birthday coming around. With parties comes balloons, for me blowing up balloons after a while gets tiresome. I decided to make my life just a little bit easier so I bought one of those nifty balloon pumps. It’s cylindrical with a tip and works in the same fashion as a bicycle pump.

After the party’s over there is always something that gets left out and this time it was the balloon pump. Sitting in the living room watching TV, Catherine had the pump and was playing with it, pulling back the handle and pushing it in creating a swooshing sound and a little air in her face. Suzanne a true blonde under all that pretty brown hair said “Hey, you better quit that, you’re gonna run out of air!”

I lived in a small trailer park with my husband and 3 children (many moons ago), there were lots of trees and with that came lots of squirrels. My screen door didn’t latch properly, it was hooked with a hook and eye latch, this made it loose. The squirrels would hang on the screen and rattle the door wanting treats. I had purchased a 10 lb bag of nuts for my little friends and would spend about an hour a day cracking the nuts then putting little nutmeat piles on the porch for them. One day I was a little late in my nut cracking duties, and my husband asked me what I was doing. I told him I was feeding the squirrels. He said “Yes, but why are you taking them out of the shells?” I said “Well how else are they going to be able to eat them, they don’t have nut crackers?” I watched as my husbands face began to change, first a little red, then slightly purple and I noticed he was attempting to contain his laughter. Finally he could keep it in no longer and he burst out laughing. I didn’t understand what was so funny, it took him several minutes to compose himself, with a lot of knee slapping and roaring in hilarity. He took a nut from me and said “Watch this.” He reached out the door with a nut, shell and all and handed it to the waiting squirrel. In seconds - SECONDS -the squirrel had popped open the nut and began eating the insides. After that, I just left the pile of nuts - shell and all on the porch.

When I was around 40 I decided to go to my local school bus transportation and apply for a job, I got the job but was required to get my class B CDL.  So to the DMV or in my state “The Secretary of State” office I went, to get my TIP - Temporary Instruction Permit.  I had read the book and prepared for my tests, so I was ready.  I sat in the school room size desk and took my test, when I was finished to took my test up to the counter to have my answers checked.  I passed, so I was taken to the area to have my picture taken.  Once all of this was complete and I had my new license in hand, I clapped my hands together and did some personal ’Yay’s’ with a little jump here or there.  As I looked around I noticed that the 15 or so people were laughing.  You realize at some moment in time that they aren’t laughing with you, they are laughing AT you.  After thinking it over for a few minutes I realized what they might have thought - “Awww, look at that 40 year old blond woman, she finally got her driver’s license”

This particular story was sent in for submission to Readers Digest's "Laughter the Best Medicine" and sad to say was not selected.

After a fun day at Michigan’s Adventures theme park with 3 teenage girls, Catherine, Suzanne and Nikki, the ride home, turned out to be the most memorable part of the day. My eldest daughter Catherine, always insisted she ride up front, it had rained and after a hot day hanging out the window seemed just the thing for cooling off.

Catherine hanging out the window, turned to face the back of the car, Nikki was riding in the back seat stuck her head out the window as well. Catherine said to Nikki “Hey Nik, Spit at me” So of course kids being kids, she did. Nikki ended up having a face full of her own spit. The girls of course laughed at this, and not wanting to end the fun, Nikki in her infinite wisdom said “Hey Catherine - spit at me- spit at me!” - “Uh, No wait”.