I was just surfing the Internet for the Christmas gifts I want to buy this year. You know, just something hopefully cheap so I can buy more than just one gift for some one. And cheap because I don’t want them to believe they will get expensive gifts every year, so I don’t have to work my but off the entire year to be able to buy them.

 I was amazed by the products that showed on the screen. I laughed; I cried and wondered why someone would even think of buying these things. But okay, just let us look at some things that came by.

The candy grabber, what an invention. What’s wrong with just putting candy in a jar and get some out? Unless you want someone to get frustrated while they try to get some candy? And after an hour they just give up or throw it against the kitchen wall?

 A solid silver Rolo? Duh… Just put it into the candy grabber. What the hell can you do with this? Eat it? No..  So what. Just look at it and imagine how much real rolo’s you could get for this silver thing? If someone wants chocolate and want Rolo, they just want that won't they?Not one of these over expensive useless fake Rolo’s  so when they start sleepwalking they hurt their teeth while dreaming of the real stuff.

A battery operated beer butler? Great. But who has to get the beer out of the fridge? That’s just one of those things this thing won’t do. And who will open the bottle? Butler? My ass. A butler needs to do all of these things. So what’s the use of some called butler which is just able to bring the beer from one side of the table to the other?

Too bad they don’t have these with B.T. Evilpants. What would be greater then to see a B.T. Evilpants becoming 200 years old? Even when it has to survive in a small tube first and has to breathe trough a little antenna. But yeah.. after it has grown you can play with it. And who just doesn’t want to play with a Evilpants

This is really something I wouldn’t like. So why should I buy this for someone else?

“Do you sometimes get the feeling you were destined for greatness? Would you like people to show you the respect you deserve?  How would you like to join the ranks of the privileged few? Well, no longer do you have to be content just being Mr. or Mrs. Average. Now, you can join the silver spoon club without resorting to marriage or inheritance.”

Well first off all, I’m Mrs. Average and want to stay average, thank you. I don’t want to join some club where I have to watch out when I have my sneakers on or want to walk around in some ordinary basic jogging outfit. And most of all, I don’t want my friends to believe I’m more then I am. Especially I don’t want my relatives who like to think that status means money to come over too much then. I don’t have the money and I don’t want them to beg for money at my doorsteps. I like it the way it is. Just seeing them once or twice a year and even better, watch them go home again.

So no upgrading of my social status.Any social status. I didn’t have one yesterday neither did the others  and I don’t want one overnight to be able to receive invitations to go to important events

Mm Maybe for someone who doesn’t like to remember sick hamsters that die..  The best way to euthanize this one is just pull the plug from the computer. At least you don’t have to feed it, or take it to the vet.

Mood pets?Do people need these things to let someone know in what kind of mood they are? Can’t people just show their mood, communicate? Instead of needing annoying lights and blinking colors that start to aggravate when you have to watch this all the time?  And if I want a pet to shine, I could put a light bulb up its ass couldn’t I?  You just have to be in the right mood to do that.

Okay, I quit. There’s too much to show, too much to see. I have to look further to find the gifts I want to buy.

And for those who want to know… All I want for Christmas is some 4 x AA Super Green Heavy Duty Batteries