How To Be A Real Man
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I like men. Wait, let me rephrase that: I like real men. At the time of my birth, real men were on already on their way out, but there were still a good number around. Today this breed is all but extinct. Darwin may have had a point or two about biological evolution (although, obviously, he wasn't entirely correct about everything, as we are now discovering -- more on that some other time) but it's the evolution of character that matters most.
Sadly, the majority of the male sex seems to have come to a complete standstill in that regard, apart from those who have actually turned round and started some sort of bizarre regression. And before you ask, this isn't about homosexuality; I've probably seen more gay men who embody my ideal of what a real man should be. And yes, I've met a few straight men who I'd label real men, as well -- but I've not encountered such men in a very long time and, frankly, I'm starting to lose hope. If you happen to possess all of these characteristics, or even a few, I'd be very, very impressed.
Real men are not bigots.
Real
men do not say stupid things about anyone based on stereotypes. This
means that real mean do not say horrible things about, or make fun of,
people for their race, sex or religion. Bigotry is always based on
ignorance, which is never a sexy quality.
Real men do not lie.
Simple as.
Real men do not cheat.
A real man does not have extramarital affairs. Nor does he cheat on his girlfriend, as both signify rather a weak character. A real man would have the the courage to end the relationship if he was no longer in love, or he would have the self-control to keep his pants on if he was.
Real men do not force their views onto others.
It's one thing to tell your Muslim neighbor that you believe Jesus saved the world and you're there for Mr. Muslim if he'd like to convert to Christianity. It's another thing entirely to harass the poor man until he finally moves just to be free of your preaching. Real men recognize that free-will is essential to the human spirit, and he also realizes that all views are tolerable, provided they are not being espoused by persons encouraging harm.
Real men support their children.
Real
men are there for their kids, whether they were planned or not and
irrespective of their geographical location. If you're a father who
leaves his child to be raised by your ex and then falls into the
background until adulthood, you're a poor excuse for a father, and
you're an even worse excuse for a man. I accept that some men are
incapable of demonstrating proper levels of affection, but there is
never, ever, an excuse for not being actively involved in your child's
life. And if you claim your ex is preventing you from doing so, scroll up
to number two.
Real men take responsibility for their actions.
Real men do not blame society, their parents, the man, or anything else for their mistakes. Real men, when questioned about something which is obviously their fault, don't reply with, "Yes, I made an error in that report, but Andy in Accounting was distracting me at the time I did it." Real men realize that only they, themselves, are responsible for their own behavior.
Real men do not whinge when faced with a problem.
Real men do not kick the dirt, stop their feet and ask, "Why me?" when their girlfriend reveals that she's pregnant. A real man doesn't blame her for it, as he realizes the conception was far from immaculate. A real man simply deals with the situation head on, as opposed to wasting precious time complaining or wondering how the situation arose in the first place.
Real men do not hit women.
Unless a GlOW girl has you in a headlock, a real man doesn't hit a woman, nor does he physically intimidate or threaten her. (Erm, unless she's really kinky like that, and some women are...) In war settings, obviously, different rules will apply and those women should be prepared and know what they can expect. But with regards to domestic violence, no real man ever hit a woman. This doesn't mean a man should let a woman hit him, either, but if you're capable of restraining her, that's what you do -- and then you get a new girlfriend, cos that one's got issues.
Real men do not hit other men unless provoked.
Again, war settings are different for obvious reasons, but real men don't get into barfights or other situations either. This isn't because they are wussies; it's because they have self-control and don't have anything to prove because they are already perfectly self-confident. It is never sexy to see a man hurt someone. Self-defense is perfectly understandable, but blatant violence never is.
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Comments
Ah yes, the vanishing breed that us real women mourn the loss of. I am with you on this one. Real men also do feel and show emotion, inspire those around them to do their best, and set a good example for real boys who will grow into real men. Real men, a vanishing breed. Good hub!
mycash4notes says:
7 months ago
Well Isabella, you saucy little wench, do you have to reach so hard to find such a compelling topic? Based on your criteria of what a real man should be, it would appear that, as self centered and egotistical as it may appear, I have all the endearing qualities that make up your idea of a "real man".
Pondering your hub, I had to reach down deep inside myself before responding with this comment because you've stirred something in me here. Not that my manhood is in question or that I’m insecure about it, I would certainly be offended if that were the case. But then, would pride exclude me from manhood? Reading your hub, I guess it would have to come to fisticuffs for me to be disqualified from manhood.
I disagree that a “real man” can be gay. There’s something wrong with that. In fact, it’s ignorant. Part of what makes me a “real man” is my perverseness, my lust and my longing for the female form. For instance, I am your opposite Isabella. I find you incredibly intelligent, sexy and somewhat mysterious. I only use the word "somewhat" because you lay it all out there on virtual ink and paper like stained glass; I can see through you, but you are very compelling and intriguing.
Back on topic; I once heard a college professor exclaim, "....we are whatever we are going to be, by the age of three" and I believe he even cited a source; Sigmund Freud, maybe, I can’t recall. Anyway, the professor’s point being, our personalities, character and everything we are is determined not by fate but by our "up-bringing" and the choices we make. We are who we are based on how we use what we are gifted with at birth and how we were raised. This, I believe, strikes at the core that determines our character and who we become.
There’s no real dogma here Isabella. But, if there was, wouldn’t there also be a counter question about women? What makes a woman less of a woman? Would not the same factors apply? Are you less of a woman because of your views? Men are men, women are women. Do you see my point? People are people and we all have the opportunity to live our lives, make our choices and become whatever we become.
Don't get me wrong. I think you've hit the "nail on the head", so to speak, with respect to your views. But I think they apply to both male and female alike.
Am I a man? I leave that to God to decide. One thing is for sure, Darwin had nothing to do with it.
Good hub but a little one-sided ..you saucy (gender biased) wench.
Happy hubbing!