I Wonder What It Takes

To get banned from HubPages.

I mean I have come across a fair share of fellow hubbers who have been given the big red golden Willy suck my Wonka ticket, but I wonder what it takes to really get banned. Like for good. So good that they even check for your ISP to make sure your gnarly ratty ass does not come back again.

I've got some offending pieces on this here thing we call Hubpages, pieces riddled with F this, and F that, and titty tatty Patty want a shaggy.

I've only been given the Willy suck my Wonka ticket once. It was red...well... I should say pink actually. The piece apparently offended someone, so they ticketed me. Or reported me, whatever that button down below says. I'm too fat and lazy to check.

It wasn't even that bad, God. They should see some of my other pieces.

For those dirty bastards who are interested, do know they are not published here. God no. After getting my pink warning slip the first time I tried to mellow my stuff out, keep it rated G for the girly goos who cry when they see the word tit in fine Internet print.

It's not my fault you ain't got none sweetie.

They have some website though, where girls can like... ask for boob job donations. I'd give you the link, but this mama was born with bouncy bouncies, so... I don't need to research chicklet chest syndrome... so.... uhm...? Sorry for yah?

Anyway, where was I.

Oh yeah.

After I got my golden, red, Wonka-doodle ticket, I got sort of bored. I wondered if my Hubs had to be these deep boring issues. Issues that raise debates, yet are rated G for girly goos. Man what a dilemma.

I found I would come here, write a Hub, and realize it lacked my total farty-tart-tastic personality, due to the fact that I was keeping it so rated G.

It got so frightfully boring that it looked like I was hanging out too much with Ben Stein. Dry eyes... equals... zzz... yawn... scratch my imaginary nuts.

I do wonder though what it takes to get booted. Besides a few cuss words and dirty words, what does one have to do? Stalk or something?

I have heard about the folks who have been temporarily shut quite in the forums. Basically someone reports them, and they have this 2 day dry mouth banfor being naughty. The censorship is pretty amazing here on HubPages though. Its really amazing actually, which makes it sort of funny.

You have to watch your mouth son, you hear!? Some idiot was offended so much that they hit the big bad report button- dunt-dunt-dunnnnnn. Satisfaction for the simple minded folks. Give the assholes a red button. That solves everything; we all know they're gunna press it.

I wonder if pressing the report button gives any satisfaction. HAHAH. I can just picture some loser behind a screen, like... cracking his knuckles, stretching back on his near broken computer chair, feeling a sense of glory, and power after hitting the report button.

That should be the new definition of dumb-ass. He probably hasn't deodorized in decades.

But then there has been this one underlying issue that I just can't seem to scratch, and that's what bugs me. How quickly they will shut someone up... shut someone up with an original thought... and then... we have these Hubbers who have these clearly copied hubs, hubs copied from other writers, hubs copied from health journals, health websites, news articles... and as many times as one can hit the fun report button, the douche-bags still remain.

Huh? Is there some underlying picture I'm missing?

I should probably knock on wood though, because I don't want to be banned from this site. I've met so many awesome people on here... some left, some were probably banned... but the majority of them rock my world..........hmh... maybe..... I should-- reword that?

Some of them are to cool for Internet babble. Some of them are like word Gods, and these word Gods deserve my humble virtual bow. So I bow to you, you gnarly bastard you.

I'm bored. Can someone please point me in the direction to the Hubs that use bad words and talk about farts, and boobs, and pot, and poo, drunks and welfare trash, and hookers and hobos? I know of a few of them, but I won't identify them...some G rated girly goo might go and report em', directly after reporting me of course.

One last thought before departing:

Why isn't Wonka a recognized word in the spellcheck?!

I mean really!? Cock is in it, but not Wonka! Seriously!