OxyMorons (Hilarious Combinations) That Will Make You Smile
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Wikipedia defines Oxymoron as a figure of speech that combines two normally contradictory terms. Often we use them placing an adjective and noun together to create a term that does not make any sense. How many of us actually critique another person's meaning, unless of course we question the answer. A friend of mine happened to send me an e-mail that made me realize all of us use Oxymoron's continually, not only in our writing but when we speak to each other face to face. Willing to share some of the Oxymoron's she sent to me and with respect to the author or writer who created them and of course there are a handful I created knowing that they were silly, hoping to put a smile on your face , pep in your step here are the top twenty five Oxymoron's that I have enjoyed ones that have made me smile.
1. Is it Good If A Vacuum really sucks? What does this mean is it really good? Isn't that what a vacuum is supposed to do?
2. Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand? Does this really make any sense?
3. If Webster wrote the first dictionary where did he find the words? Where do you think?
4. Why do we sing " Take me out to the ball game?" when we are already there? Gotcha' thinking didn't it?
5. If love is blind why is lingerie so popular? Remember love is blind.
6. Christmas: Why do we sitting in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of our socks? Does this make any sense?
7. Why is bra singular and panties plural? Both require two things don't they?
8. If the entire world is a stage, who is the audience? What are all of us watching at the same time?
9. Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is after light?" Silly but true
10. What makes dinner and supper different? It has the same meaning or does it?
11. We call them the hoosiers? What is a hoosier? Does anyone have any really idea?
12. If a word was misspelled in the Webster's dictionary , how would any of us ever know?
13. Why are they called 'stands' when they are meant to place your bottom on?
14. Why is a 'wise man' and a 'wise guy' opposites ? Could it be age?
15. Why does anyone press harder on a remote control when they know the batteries are dead?
16. Why do we drive on a freeway , when the freeway certainly is not free?
17. Why do we park on a driveway and drive on a parkway? Who created this?
18. Why is it that everyone has a Television set but it is only considered one? Sure does sound multiple to me.
19. Why do ' Tug Boats' push their barges? They are supposed to tug isn't that correct?
20. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia can you read all right? What a question isn't it?
21. She sure is 'pretty ugly', which one is it?
22. Don't forget to submit your original copy, would you not want the original? So why copy it?
23. I would like your objective opinion? What in the world? If you are asking someones opinion would it not be an objective one?
24. You look like the 'living dead'? I believe that when we died, we certainly were not left alive.
25. What an organized mess! How can a mess be organized? mmmm... only from a writer's desk could that be the answer?
Next time we write we should be objective to opinion and certainly not tell anyone they look like the living dead and depending on your age you could be a wise guy or a wise man I wonder if someone thought about a wise woman and a wise gal are they also different?
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Comments
Very funny and well written. As to question 20 I am cross eyed and dyslexic. I still see words that are silly when i am tired so that answers 20!
camlo: Thanks and I have noticed that as well when it comes to the bus it has never ever made any since to me. :)
GeorgiaKevin: Thank you for answering that one. :)
It could just be that the wise woman and the wise gal are destined to be supreme court justices. We could use some more.
Ha! Thanks, J. You made me laugh. There are a few others they aren't oxymorons but are odities of the English language: How do you go to the bathroom when you're already inside the bathroom? Thanks :D
papajack: I absolutely agree! :)
dohn121: Gotta say that is a good question and absolutely hilarious! lolololo :D
Sweet, you know I love humor!
Keep on hubbing!
eovery: I love humor to and when we have a bad day it somehow manages to cheer us up.:)
AEvans
Thanks for the Laugh. Great Hub!!
I like lingerie ! But on the other gender of course ! I suspect it has nothing to do with love .
This is a very funny list. The ones that made me laugh and/or think is 7(men wear underwear [one] women wear panties [more than one]? Funny. 15 made me laugh cause I do that all the time. Press harder it'll work :) and of course 18. A TV set (what's in the set)? Nowadays you may get the TV and a remote in the set but back when it first started it was still a TV set, but you only got the TV. Very funny indeed. Thanks for the chuckle.
I enjoyed those. Fun to read a collection of truths. Christmas tickled me. Thank you.
I enjoyed this...thanks...Here is one Why do people with accents sing clearly but are sometimes difficult to understand in conversation? I would like to link this to one of my Questions hubs (if you do not mind)
great hub, well done. Thank you.
Hi Juliana. You got me thinking there. Number 24 reminded me of a phrase from one of my friends when she was ranting. She said "I wanna die DEAD!" :) Here's another one - that book is boring. It bored me out of my skull. Don't know if these are examples of an oxymoron but they show a nice twist of words. :) thanks for this fun hub. :)
Nice one, I just posted it to my blog site!
John
Legacy Wellmess: I enjoy making people smile. :)
tony0724: You are to funny!!! lololo :D
weslecycox: Use them they are so hilarious and do not make any sense do they? lololo :D
Peter Dickinson: The Christmas caught my eye to , silly but truthful. lolo :D
mtsi1098: You are more then welcome to link it to one of your hubs, I would also enjoy reading it which one is it? :D
Hello, hello: You are so welcome ! ::::::::::::::::)
emievil: Those are hilarious!!! lololo here is one we watched a movie that was called " Bored To Death" how can you be bored to death? lololo
aguasilver: I am so happy you enjoyed and you were more then welcome to post it to your blog site. :)
thanks - Here you go http://hubpages.com/hub/Why-Do-Questions-Drive-Us
Always a pleasure to read your hubs, this was as good as antiscipated
mtsi1098: I also enjoyed yours as well, it certainly made me think and I realized how many times I asked how and why. :)
poetlorraine: Thanks so much it was fun writing about it and I am glad I made others smile. :)
Thanks for the laugh, #15 was my favorite, press and bang on my wrist, why do I go there?
great and funny too
Just a couple more with the language. Why is dyslexia so hard to spell? And why isn't phonetic spelt the way it sounds?
Jen's Solitude: My husband does that allthe time and I only have to laugh because he gets so darn agitated. lololo
drcrischasse: Thank you. :)
cally2: Those are fantastic! Why is it so hard to spell and who in the heck comes up with these things. lololo :D
"Press harder on the remote!" Lol! Perhaps because we are initially conditioned to mechanical devices which require force to operate!
Interesting hub, Thanks!
quicksand: You are so funny! lololo initally conditioned I so do agree. lololo :D
Nice to see a fun hub from my fav lady in the hat, I hope the coming 2010 sees her smiling loads !
Hehe...English was created to add to the confusion the world is already enveloped in!
Feline: You are so politically correct, lololo :D
AE - where have you been? The living dead refers, of course, to the ever popular zombie! Great list, you really gave me a good laugh.
These are great! I always enjoy your writing, AE.
This was cute, I have heard some of these sayings before. They really make you think? FUN!
Dolores: I am so glad that I made you laugh and I apologize to everyone for the response delay I have been here and there and everywhere and I am certainly happy you enjoyed!:)
James: I am glad that you enjoyed. :)
heart4theword: They certainly do and I had fun entertain them and placing them here for others to enjoy, I am also happy that you enjoyed. :)
looooooooool AEvans...that was fun, well..some of them were horrible :P:D:D:D..no seriously i really enjoyed it..thanks alot :):D
Mezo: You are welcome! :)
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camlo says:
2 weeks ago
I have somebody to clean up for me, otherwise, I'd live in an organized mess -- I know exactly where everything is, it has a logic even if it looks like chaos. Besides, a writer doesn't have time to clean up.
I do that with the remote control, too -- press harder when the batteries are dead ...
Do you notice that when people are waiting for a bus, they look in the direction it should come from? As though this would make its arrival faster.
Enjoyed your Hub -- was terribly good!
All the best, Camlo