Of all the holidays of the year very few, truly allow one to enjoy oneself with reckless abandon. Most focus around travel, rush, forced fun and spending tons of money on others. Not to mention getting cooped up in some squalid church at a god awful hour.

But St. Patty's Day exists to save us, all of us, who still have a spark of life left. Get up early, start getting smashed, freeze while watching the same old parade and join all your neighbors in reckless abandon in the middle of the day.

Thats right you pukes "Lets Get Smashed"

Break out the shot glasses and car bombs, its parade day

Lots of people equate St Patricks Day with Green beer. Aarrgh!, Your amateurs...green beer is usually the cheapest american domestic draft..with food coloring! American beer isnt beer, and who wants to drink food coloring.

A real St Pattys day reveler begins his day with an Irish Coffee, maintains with a nice thick Guinness and does a car bomb at every new bar.

There are many schools to pouring a proper car bomb, We wont concern ourselves with that, we are interested in bang for our buck. Usually a car bomb is billed around the price of one draft and one shot. But you are only getting half a draft!

Ingredients

Guiness Draft

Jameson Irish Whiskey

Baileys Irish Cream

A shot glass

Big hairy balls!

How to Order an Irish Car Bomb:

"Hey Barkeep" six Irish Car bombs, please

'But there are only 2 of you?"

"I said six, dammit..posthaste!"

How do you want it (If they dont ask just tell them)

3/4 full on the Guiness, 3 parts Jameson on the shots

Now this important, the Baileys is going to begin to curdle - its a cream, the moment it touches the whiskey its start to thicken, this drink has to be quaffed quick, and their is no time for bad pours from the Bartender.

The Guiness should be poured first, and lined up on the bar - then all the shot glasses need to be filled with the Jameson...as the last step...it should be topped off with the Baileys. You drink this AT THE BAR...dont try to carry these things through the place to your friends...its gonna curdle, youll be sorry.

How to drink an Irish Car Bomb:

Take shot glass and drop into Draft, turn elbow to sky - and chug, quaff, guzzle.

Sweet nectar - almost tastes like a chocolate milkshake dont ask me how.

If they try to pour the Baileys first, or they try to give you a plastic shot glass...tear them a new one! What are you doing you arse! Havent ya ever poured a drink before? Start over!

Caution: You can lose your front teeth!

When your throwing back that Car Bomb, be careful dont smash yourself in the teeth with the heavy shot glass! Dont laugh, it happens all the time...usually the later it is into the day.

If you do smash a tooth, read this about emergency tooth care

On busy days like St. Pattys, an Irish Car bomb is a terrible drink to be a bartender for. Guiness pours slow, the curdled Bailey's sticks to the glass, and each drink ordered dirties two pieces of glassware with a nasty gluelike paste.

If your going to be ordering Irish Car Bombs all night, take good care of that Bartender...You will be repaid with a bigger pour on the Guinness, (it really should be only half a draft)