Sometimes we face some 'pretty hard times' in our lives. We are abruptly forced to stop going in the direction we are currently headed. For one reason or another, our plans get fouled up or destroyed altogether. But, nevertheless 'all things happen for divine reasons' that are not obvious at the place where we experience them. Pain is the clearest indication that we are being reworked.

You are the last one who knows when you are going to blow! But, blow you do because of all the repressed refuge you carry around. Instead of voicing your agitation in small doses easily digested,you explode like a huge volcanic thrust. What’s wrong with that? Not a dog-gone thing except that it makes you feel guilty, apologetic, and remorseful. These unnatural ego-driven actions are the sediment which cause damage to your demeanor and your level of honest intimacy. Why? Because you are an infinitely pure innocent elevated divine being who in no way participates in the disgraceful actions of ‘trying to explain, excuse or defend’ what you do.

Human beings are contrarily complex creatures. But, are absolutely lucid on one definite point: they will not be obligated to anyone. No matter how it may appear, the underlying truth remains, a human being is not equipped with the faculties to be indebted to another. Obligation is not ‘natural and convenient’ for mortals and does not fit into the character. Duty to oneself is the highest honor and when broken brings on unmentionable problems. Obligation is stifling, regressively confining, reservedly demanding, and most awkwardly humiliating. An equal and fair exchange is conducted inwardly at all times by the sacred reasons of the god (s) and will not be interfered with by compromising tainted mortal obligation.

Obligation is sort of like forced entertainment! You are expected to provide on going re-payment services of such for the other in some unspoken way. This untenable situation is not acceptable! The soul will simply not stand for it. Didn’t Master Jesus say, “Owe no man.?” No matter what size of the so-called gift, (binding offense) unless incredulously elevated to a place of total non-attachment to the gift or giver, you will inevitably project anger and resentment.

But, because your ruthless soul wears the incognito suit of a human being, you end up trying to be extra nice to make up for what you perceive as an causal injustice. Vomit. Vomit and more vomit. What on earth are you doing in such a ‘perpendicular’ mess? How long do you really think you can maintain the grateful veneer? Why not come clean; instead of presenting an idolized picture of the you that will be impossible to maintain? Just let the person know right from the beginning that you will not be placed in a situation that requires obligation of any sort. Call it intimacy issues or the fact that you don’t like the idea of being responsible to or for another. It is a conviction of yours that for any true affable relationship to work ,you need your space; although you will inadvertently try to smother, control, dominate, placate, sublimate or suffocate, (whatever works best for you) and otherwise end up resenting the fact that you are beholding.

. If you are gut level honest with yourself first, then the other, you will say although you expect undivided attention and loyalty, you may be the first to grow bored and restless in the middle of the night for no apparent reason. Tell your partner that you don’t have the slightest idea of what true love means. {Human beings are the process of learning through the ruthless actions of the soul.} Although you are more than ready and willing to learn, it will not be easy or smooth sailing for either of you. Furthermore, you realize you are selfish and self-centered and need to be pampered with words of encouragement, in sppite of other unreasonable demands. In other words, you are at any given moment at least 3 different people with entirely different needs and desires.

You will be good at convincing the other that you want and need a committed relationship and desire to married with children more than anything else in the world but you don’t mean a word of it. You like the idea; it sounds so romantic and secure but you’ll have to let that pot of soup brew for awhile before you can eat it. If you will just be a little more honest from the get go, the relationship might just have a chance of surviving.

Now, let us explore one of the other distinct personalities in your complex make-up. A total split exists in everything just recorded. Your need to be domesticated dominates your need to be free and rebellious. [Your need to be stable/secure fuels your need to be adventurous and exploring.] Personality #2 continuously feeds your mind with obnoxious thoughts that as you long as you are in a devoted committed loving relationship, full of the ‘forever’ promises that go with it, you could be ultimately happy/content forever more. But, at the same time, you are so fiercely independent that it would be just a little more than difficult to give over the idealized dreams of what you desire, to play housemate and mommy.you really have quite a bit of sexual energy you'd like to explore and don't want it hampered.

As long as you can drive your shiny black new BMW and pick up the maid and nanny, vacation in the Bahamas at least twice a year, have unlimited spending allowance for beauty essentials, the idea could grow on you. But anything less, there might just be a slight problem in dictations. A sense of urgency never leaves you. You don’t have to know why just be aware of its presence. You’re impatient, filled with constant distractions and dissatisfactions. Some of the lessons in being human also involve getting over bigotry, superiority, intolerance, and prejudice.

Life is filled with hard choices. Infidelity is not one of them. Human beings are thoroughly self-absorbed, self-vested and self-interested. You are no different. Self-intoxication is the smooth wine you consume the most. As a genuine human being (god/goddess/itness) thoroughly participating in the life here on earth, you are the proverbial father/mother/son/daughter/lover /friend in exile. It is the sublimely sacred designated sphere/ realm of crucifixion including the unalterable ability for authentic closeness. No need to try; you already are.

The face of your chosen partner will reveal the hideous/exalted masquerade. Coming to terms with this esoteric knowledge may take a lifetime. It is here on another level of consciousness that we first encounter the reality of living multi-level multi-dimensional lives in many layers of existence that ultimately affect eveything we do. (Not as we comprehend the term living in human form) This is a notion far too advanced to be fully appreciated at this time but it introduces the concept of complexity and certainty that everything that has ever happened or will happen is taking place right now in the present. “…and it was all good…” (Paraphrased)

Let things be. Release the need to expect certain things at certain times with certain results from certain people. You dampen your experience. You will remove the tendency to project the idea that the other person can or does disappoint you. Never does nonsensical event happen. IF you get honest with your three faces and observe them in operation, you will roar out a tremedously exhilerating belly laugh. Integration is the key lesson to be remembered while inhabiting the earth plane. Your unexpressed, unlived, unfulfilled unexplored undelegated sacred sensual sexual artistic life will not arrive all neatly tied up in a pretty box dowsed in bows and ribbons. (Far from it.) Can you handle it? Will you handle it? Be fully present in all relationships, willing to accept what you get and give. No strings attached!