We all know the famous Christmas love song, The Twelve Days of Christmas, Where the Beau tries to win the heart of his sweetheart, by presenting her with different gifts for each of the twelve festive days.

I have often thought that this guy must be missing a brain cell or two, or that he had so much money that he could afford such frivolity.

Then another thought came to me, if I were to do the same thing for my wife this year and present her with the same twelve gifts, how much money would it actually cost to pull off this romantic stunt. After some research on the Internet I have came up with two totals one for the real thing and the other for jewellery or ornaments representing the famous gifts.

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me a partridge in a pear tree.

I found a Partridge in a Pear Tree Ornament online at a very good price,

$7.50 was a snip (picture).

I could buy a live partridge online for $25.00 and a live pear tree for around $15.00

On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me Two Turtle doves.

I found a single turtle dove ornament (pictured) online for $8.00 I wanted two so that came to a total of $16.00.

Finding live turtle doves was quite an easy task online and a pair of them worked out at the exact same price as the ornamental birds $16.00 the pair.

On the third day of Christmas my true love sent to me Three French Hens

The three French hens ornament (pictured) was a snip at $20.00 and after a little searching I eventually found three live French hens on sale at a reasonable $45.00.

The original lyrics of the song actually read "Four Colly birds" Colly means black therefore four black birds is what I looked for.

The one pictured would cost $5.00 meaning it would cost $20.00 for four of them.

I couldn't find anywhere that sold live blackbirds online but you could try to lure them into your home with some bird seeds or even some bread.

cost $1.00.

On the fifth day of Christmas my true love sent to me Five Gold Rings

Pay a visit to any Dollar store and you will be able to get your hands on five plastic gold covered rings (pictured), the usually come in packs of between five and ten. Cost $1.00

Sticking to a budget you could opt for nine carat gold rings, which you can pick up for as little as $25.00 each 5 would total $125.00

On the sixth day of Christmas my true love sent to me Six Geese a Laying.

This proved to be the most difficult ornament to find and I couldn't find one that was cheaper than this at $500.00 you would need to have more money than sense to buy it.

I found some geese online (Chinese Exhibition Geese) at $80.00 a head the total came to $ 480.00

I found this plate online (pictured) that depicts seven swans a swimming it is on sale at the moment reduced from $38.00 to $18.00.

Where I live in the UK it is illegal to own a swan they are a protected species and can only be owned by the Queen.

If the law is different where you live perhaps you could find a price and post it in the comments box below.

On the eighth day of Christmas my true love sent to me Eight Maids a milking.

Unfortunately I couldn't find an ornament for eight maids a milking but I found the Christmas card pictured, priced at $2.00.

In Europe it is illegal to milk a cow by hand these days, I am not sure if it is the same in the USA , for the purpose of the song though you would need to buy

Eight milking machines at a total price of $3200 and hire eight Maids separately at $ 15.00 an hour each for one hour the total would be $120.00

Total for machines and maids would be $3320.00

On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me Nine ladies Dancing

I found these Christmas lights on line that represent Nine Ladies Dancing at $120.00 they would make an ideal decoration for any home.

From lap dancers to ballroom dancers you would be able to find a dance troupe willing to help you out in your quest for a small fee of course. Expect it to cost around $5000.00

If you like the plate pictured right you can buy it online for only $60.00 but I am afraid you will have to shell out a little bit more to hire ten real lords of the realm.

Although a lord of the realm may be worth millions they still like to make a little money on the side by making after dinner speeches, the going rate for this service is $20,000 if you hire ten after dinner speeches from ten different lords maybe, just maybe you could get them drunk and have them leaping all over the room, at $200,000 you deserve to get what you paid for.

On the eleventh day of Christmas my truelove gave to me Eleven Pipers Piping.

The eleven pipers plate pictured would cost $27.00 to buy online

To hire a eleven pipers whether they are flutists or bagpipers would cost you around $200.00 each total cost $2200.00.

On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me Twelve Drummers Drumming

The Christmas lights of twelve drummers would cost you in the region of $300.00.

Drummers are plentiful in the real world and you could easily hire one for $50.00 a night multiply that by 12 and your twelve drummers would cost $600.00.

Gifts total cost

ORNAMENTAL GIFTS COST $1115.50

REAL LIVE GIFTS COST $211,792.00

And there we have it ornamental presents would be the best way to go if I was planning the gifts for my wife but even then I would be stretching my budget well over the limit.